Breaking up is hard to do. At times, drama in the form of conflict, constant arguments, verbal abuse, and cheating can make it slightly easier to put an end to dead end relationships.
Other times, break ups last for years – languid and slow – dragging because neither party involved wants to say goodbye to what they know. Comfort and security becomes more important than happiness and healthy love. A significant part of you settles and whether it's realized or not, self esteem takes a blow because essentially you've forgotten yourself and your worth.
One day you come to your senses and say “it's over." Finally. But despite the fact that you've done what's best for you by moving on and putting yourself first, there will be parts of you that need repair: heart, mind, and soul. The start of that necessary self care journey begins with healing inwardly, a result that can be achieved through the method of affirmations.
Affirmations are a means of affirming what is and act as a means of emotional encouragement and support for yourself. What we say to ourselves in our time of need is so crucial. Especially that two-week timeframe where we get tempted to go back to what we know. Don't let nostalgia fool you. It can be quite the bitch.
"Don't let nostalgia fool you. It can be quite the bitch."
Below are four affirmations that will help guide you in your post-break up healing:
I Exist, Therefore I Am Love
Often times we believe that love is something to be felt externally, separate from ourselves, but in fact, the fact that we are living, breathing reflections of God and the universe (whatever your beliefs), means that you are a being of love. So the next time you are feeling devoid of love, look at yourself, look inward into the self, and remember that affirmation of love being something cultivated from within that extends to the outer world.
I Am Love Therefore I Am Loved
Again, simply being a being of love means that you are loved unconditionally. Sometimes we wish we had a choice of where that love comes from, but that isn't always the case. In instances like that, it's important to remember that it's not about the details as much as it's about the feeling. What you put out into the world returns to you tenfold, so when you say this affirmation to you post-breakup, remember the beautiful friends, family members, and even strangers you encounter everyday who embrace you just because you are you. They give you the love that you give yourself. Focus on that positive energy.
It's Okay Not to Be Okay
Cue the Adele Spotify playlist. There's an emphasis in this world to go, go, go, and there is no exception to that when applied to breakups. While I believe it's important to inject positivity in all ways always, it is okay to be realistic about how you feel in the moment. A breakup is still a loss and that means grieving comes into play. It's okay to be sad for a while; it's natural, and it is important to forgive yourself for the emotional hurdle you must overcome. So if you're not feeling 100% and aren't ready to sing the single ready to mingle "I'm every woman" anthems in the clubs just yet, don't fret. You'll get there rest assured and assure yourself that not being okay is the process of getting to okay.
I Love Myself in Every Aspect of Me & of My Life
While it is okay to give yourself assurance that you're not feeling like your best self, it is important to not get too caught up in the woes of a breakup. Don't backpedal and ask yourself what you did wrong, what could have gone right, and most importantly don't question what is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you. The relationship just didn't work. There are things that could have been better but if it has left you feeling inadequate or being self critical, it undoubtedly wasn't the relationship for you. Love yourself and embrace all of you, flaws and all. Don't punish yourself for losing something that wasn't for you and the life you're trying to lead for yourself. Think of that lesson as a blessing.
What are some affirmations that help you heal through your break ups?