4 Affirmations To Help You Through Your Break Up
Breaking up is hard to do. At times, drama in the form of conflict, constant arguments, verbal abuse, and cheating can make it slightly easier to put an end to dead end relationships.
Other times, break ups last for years – languid and slow – dragging because neither party involved wants to say goodbye to what they know. Comfort and security becomes more important than happiness and healthy love. A significant part of you settles and whether it's realized or not, self esteem takes a blow because essentially you've forgotten yourself and your worth.
One day you come to your senses and say “it's over." Finally. But despite the fact that you've done what's best for you by moving on and putting yourself first, there will be parts of you that need repair: heart, mind, and soul. The start of that necessary self care journey begins with healing inwardly, a result that can be achieved through the method of affirmations.
Affirmations are a means of affirming what is and act as a means of emotional encouragement and support for yourself. What we say to ourselves in our time of need is so crucial. Especially that two-week timeframe where we get tempted to go back to what we know. Don't let nostalgia fool you. It can be quite the bitch.
"Don't let nostalgia fool you. It can be quite the bitch."
Below are four affirmations that will help guide you in your post-break up healing:
I Exist, Therefore I Am Love
Often times we believe that love is something to be felt externally, separate from ourselves, but in fact, the fact that we are living, breathing reflections of God and the universe (whatever your beliefs), means that you are a being of love. So the next time you are feeling devoid of love, look at yourself, look inward into the self, and remember that affirmation of love being something cultivated from within that extends to the outer world.
I Am Love Therefore I Am Loved
Again, simply being a being of love means that you are loved unconditionally. Sometimes we wish we had a choice of where that love comes from, but that isn't always the case. In instances like that, it's important to remember that it's not about the details as much as it's about the feeling. What you put out into the world returns to you tenfold, so when you say this affirmation to you post-breakup, remember the beautiful friends, family members, and even strangers you encounter everyday who embrace you just because you are you. They give you the love that you give yourself. Focus on that positive energy.
It's Okay Not to Be Okay
Cue the Adele Spotify playlist. There's an emphasis in this world to go, go, go, and there is no exception to that when applied to breakups. While I believe it's important to inject positivity in all ways always, it is okay to be realistic about how you feel in the moment. A breakup is still a loss and that means grieving comes into play. It's okay to be sad for a while; it's natural, and it is important to forgive yourself for the emotional hurdle you must overcome. So if you're not feeling 100% and aren't ready to sing the single ready to mingle "I'm every woman" anthems in the clubs just yet, don't fret. You'll get there rest assured and assure yourself that not being okay is the process of getting to okay.
I Love Myself in Every Aspect of Me & of My Life
While it is okay to give yourself assurance that you're not feeling like your best self, it is important to not get too caught up in the woes of a breakup. Don't backpedal and ask yourself what you did wrong, what could have gone right, and most importantly don't question what is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you. The relationship just didn't work. There are things that could have been better but if it has left you feeling inadequate or being self critical, it undoubtedly wasn't the relationship for you. Love yourself and embrace all of you, flaws and all. Don't punish yourself for losing something that wasn't for you and the life you're trying to lead for yourself. Think of that lesson as a blessing.
What are some affirmations that help you heal through your break ups?
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
If you’re like many other people who are prioritizing wellness these days, then attending a wellness retreat might be something to consider. Wellness retreats are a cool way to get the relaxation you’ve been missing in a space with like-minded people who share a common goal. I descended upon my first wellness retreat, the Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat, a couple of weeks ago at the Zoëtry Agua Punta Cana Resort in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.
Zoëtry Agua is part of the Inclusive Collection for the World of Hyatt. It is nestled on a secluded part of Uvero Alto beach, which has crystal blue waters. The resort itself is picturesque, with its thatched roofs and lazy rivers that make you feel like you’re in a cute little village.
Mindy, Body, + Sol Retreat was hosted by Koya Webb, holistic health and wellness coach and yoga instructor, and it also featured other wellness practitioners who combined provided the ultimate gift of relaxation and getting back to oneself.
The first night was a Welcome Dinner that featured a five-course meal and an opportunity to meet our companions for the next three days. The food was impeccable and the only downside was that I wasn’t able to finish it all. The next day, however, was the official start of the classes, and I was ready to dive in.
Aura and Chakra Reading
Aura and chakra reading
Photo courtesy
My first class was an aura and chakra reading led by Laura McCann and James Levinson, an Asheville, NC couple. I’ve had chakra readings before, but never like this. There was a computer, a camera, and a scanner, which I placed my hand on for the reading. After two minutes, I received a 15-page report explaining my aura and chakra reading.
It breaks down what the colors of your aura are and what your chakras say. My main colors were green and yellow, which were defined by a variety of things. The top of my aura was green, meaning I have a social mental state and I’m a natural healer. My aura on my left side was yellow meaning my energy flowing is optimistic and light and so on.
After James discussed the findings with me, I then met with Laura, who gave me aromatherapy oils from their ADORAtherapy line that represented each chakra. She further explained the results of my chakra reading and shared how each oil can assist. Chakras are the energy centers in our body, and there is a total of seven: root, sacral, solar plexus, heart, throat, third eye, and crown. All of my chakras were high except for my heart chakra, which I have since been working on. I may follow up about that in another article.
Sound Bath
Sound bath class
Photo courtesy
Next was the sound bath class. It was located in the spa, which was indoor/ outdoor and the perfect setting for this kind of experience. Andrew Francis and Carrie Bailey of Zenden Meditation were the co-pilots in transporting attendees into a place of tranquility. I laid down, closed my eyes, and allowed the sounds around me to bring me into a relaxing state. From the singing bowls to the wind chimes, I was in heaven. I even fell asleep and got some of the best rest I’ve had in a while. It was a beautiful experience. However, remember when I noted it was an indoor/ outdoor venue? I forgot to put on bug spray and woke up pretty itchy. But it didn’t stop me from enjoying the moment.
Tea Party
Art of Tea Ritual Tea Party
Photo courtesy
The last event of the day was the Art of Tea Ritual located in the resort’s tea garden. It was everything you could want in a tea party. Delectable treats such as cookies, cakes, and white chocolate-covered strawberries, which are my fave. And, of course, tea. While I got to sip tea, I also got to make my own tea blend. There were many different teas to choose from, like hibiscus to your regular black tea. I decided to mix rose and mint and I called it RoseMint. I didn’t get to try my tea blend until I got home, and I’ll be honest, it’s probably the best tea I ever had. The tea herbs taste so fresh, and I love how fragrant it smells.
Breathwork
Breathwork Class
Photo Courtesy
The next morning was all about breathwork. If you exercise regularly, then you probably know the importance of breathing. But there’s more to it besides remembering to breathe during your workout. Margaret Townsend is a breathwork facilitator who helps people achieve wellness by consciously changing their breathing patterns. In her class, I learned to change my breathing pattern for energy as well as for relaxation. While I know that breathing is a relaxation tool, I was blown away to learn that it can also energize you. Because it was a different breathing pattern, I was also able to stay present and keep a steady pace.
Yoga
Koya Webb's yoga class
Photo courtesy
The final class of the retreat was evening yoga with Koya Webb, who, as I mentioned earlier, was the host. Her class was held beside the beautiful Uvero Alto beach, which made for a stunning backdrop and the perfect way to end the retreat. It was important for me to get back into my body after not doing yoga for a few weeks, so I was really focused on nailing the moves. However, Koya kept the energy light and fun, evening cracking a few jokes throughout, which made it easy for me to relax and enjoy the moment. She ended the class with a dance break and hugs from our classmates.
The Mind, Body, + Sol Retreat reminded me how important it is to take time to love on myself. Each class was an opportunity to be present and get reacquainted with oneself in the most loving way. Being surrounded by individuals who encouraged my journey was what I needed, and I am so honored to have had this experience.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by courtesy