Power is defined as the ability to do something or act in a particular way, especially as a faculty or quality. It is further explained to be the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events. Well, I believe we all create our unique definition of power within our own realms. The word itself holds so much weight and pressure - luckily, that's how diamonds are created.
Related: 5 Boss Women Redefine The Power Suit
No matter your field or area of expertise, you must be armoured with coverings that will keep you fly and liberated. For many powerful women, that armor is a power dress. As we continue to make remarkable strides in the workplace we are enabled to establish our authority in a professional environment traditionally dominated by men. As busy as our lives become, something happens when you slip on your favorite power dress. Time stands still and you feel like all is right in the world.
We found some badass women killing it in in their respective roles. They dished on how they define power, a defining moment of their career and how their favorite dress exudes power.
Stephanie Moss
Courtesy of Stephanie Moss
Attorney & Creator of Legally Brown and Co.
I am a powerful woman because I learned that I was larger than any negative emotion or experience. I harnessed the power within when I decided to stop obsessing over things out of my control and instead focus on areas in my life where I could be productive and make great things happen.
Unfavorable things happen to all of us but what matters most is the way that we respond and react to those things.
As an African-American woman in a career field that is dominated by white men, I have lost count of those moments. If I could choose the most monumental of those moments, it would be the day I decided to leave my first job as an attorney. I was underpaid from the start but I just assumed that this is something I had to go through in order to get to the next level. The women that looked like me who were similarly situated were underpaid too. I wanted to make it work so I worked hard for a year in hopes of being recognized for it. I waited to be "valued" but I quickly learned it would just be more of the same if I allowed that to be my story. Shortly after, I was offered a meager raise, [so] I quit!
It was the most scary yet empowering thing I've ever done.
I didn't know how it would pan out but I knew that it would. The obstacles I had overcome on my journey to becoming an attorney gave me the courage to believe in myself. I was literally forced to get my MIND right. The practice of positive thinking saved my life.
I always feel powerful in a dress that is conservative enough for work but feminine enough to make me feel good about what I'm wearing. Although the law is traditional, I love staying true my personal sense of style.
Bukky Ade
Courtesy of Bukky Ade
Photographer
Power is about mental strength for me. The mental resilience I've developed over the years when faced with adversity has made me powerful. I've learned to stride in life and bounce back when life throws me curveballs. So, if I continue to put forth positive changes in my life, I'll be a fierce, unstoppable woman full of power.
As someone who was born with a chronic illness, I exert power on a daily basis.
When in pain, the slightest tasks can become very difficult. So, the ability to self-assess if I can push through the day is vital. Anytime I accomplish a task despite my circumstance, I feel more empowered.
Specifically, I think about the moment I completed a half-marathon. This is something that empowers me every day. I prepared my body to be physically capable for the long distance, but it was my mental strength that got me through those 13.1 miles. I know if I can do that, I can do anything I put my mind to.
Brandice Daniel
Courtesy of Brandice Daniel
CEO & Founder of Harlem's Fashion Row
Being a woman of faith makes me a powerful woman. Power comes from exercising your faith and risking your ego to do so.
There are so many moments when I've been forced to embrace my power. Starting Harlem's Fashion Row from scratch made me embrace my power because I never felt quite "qualified enough" to start it, but it was on my heart to do. Writing my book, Sponsored: How to Get Brands to Sponsor Your Next Event, made me embrace my power. I had to decide that I would take the process of writing a book and publishing it into my own hands.
Embracing your power always means that you're willing to overcome the fear that tries to hold us back.
This dress by Kimberly Goldson, that I absolutely love, makes me feel invincible.
Altremese Banks
Courtesy of Altremese Banks
Creative Consultant
I embody the strength of my ancestors who were brought to this country on slave ships.
Those who undoubtedly overcame the adversities of shackles and oppression, so now that I have the opportunity to assist in the progression of Black people.
I'm powerful because I'm a Black woman. It's genetics.
Embracing my natural hair texture was an extremely powerful moment for me. I have worn hair weaves since the age of 13 because I didn't believe I was beautiful with my natural hair. I decided to let go of those insecurities and go natural. I'm more confident than ever. I feel more beautiful every day. Black hair is magical – it defies gravity.
Embracing that power has enhanced my self-esteem.
I think my power dress captures my femininity in a sexy, but elegant way. I think a women owning her sexuality is powerful, especially in the era of the "me too" movement.
Ashley Noelle
Courtesy of Ashley Noelle
WCCB-TV Sports Anchor/Reporter
My confidence makes me powerful. In today's world, it's still a man's world, so women have to make our presence known. In my field of being a sports TV broadcaster, you have to have confidence and demand respect while keeping your strength. Of course, it's not easy being strong but you have to find your inner strength to get you through.
My strength isn't loud but it's gentle and humble.
I let it be known I am a team player and kind, but you won't walk over me either. I believe that's what allows me to take and welcome criticism along with asking for help when I need it. Being in an all-male locker room for the NFL and NBA, I've encountered many males question my knowledge of the game. I've had an athlete tell me that they wouldn't take my question as serious as a guy asking the question. Later, I pulled that specific guy to the side and proved to him I know the game and told him I should be respected just as any other male in the locker room. From there on, I never had a problem.
That situation taught me to always be confident in my questions, my demeanor and never second-guess myself because I am not a "male."
I don't wear dresses that much but when I do they make me feel liberated.
Tiffany Nichole
Courtesy of Tiffany Nichole
Lifestyle Vlogger
I'm a powerful woman because I've realized that my power doesn't come from outside of me. My power doesn't lie in anything that can be taken away from me (money, status, people, etc). My power is always with me wherever I go and no matter what's going on around me. It comes from within.
The moment that forced me to embrace my power came after years of ignoring a call from God.
I was in pursuit of becoming a fully functioning bridal gown designer and I knew I was no longer happy with it. But I'd been pursuing it so hard and had never considered doing anything else. So I ignored that feeling and kept pursuing it. Long story short, I went into a deep depression because I was pursuing this thing that was no longer bringing me joy, I was broke and I was mentally, emotionally, and spiritually drained.
All along, I'd been having an urge to write a blog and start a personal Instagram page to have a place to express my thoughts and feelings during this time, but I kept telling myself I had no time because I had to build this business to be able to make money. Finally, one day, as I'd started to accept the fact that designing wedding gowns was no longer for me, I was lying on the couch falling deeper and deeper into my depression, when it hit me!
Me and my excuses were the only things standing in the way of me writing that blog and starting my page, and it was the outlet that I needed in that moment.
So I got right up, did my makeup, took my first "portraits" using my iPhone 7+ and a ring light, and began building my page. Starting that page and writing my blogs have led me to realize my calling, and it's to inspire and encourage women to live their lives at 100% capacity! If I had not found my power in that moment and acknowledged it, I'd still be lying on the couch feeling sorry for myself. The power is always in us! We just have to embrace it!
Elizabeth Smith
Courtesy of Elizabeth Smith
Entercom Producer at V103 Atlanta
What makes me a powerful woman is my drive and observant ways. When I want something in life, I go after it no matter what obstacles are present. I will stop at nothing to achieve a goal of mine and give it my all until it is fulfilled. I always observe and study my surroundings and associates just enough to know when and how to move. I learn how to execute my task to the best of my ability and when the opportunity presents itself, I take full advantage and make it my own. I'm basically like a silent assassin! You never see me coming until it's too late, and I allow my work to speak for itself.
I had to embrace my power when I was overlooked and stereotyped at work.
I was the new and young employee with little experience at a major market. I didn't know anyone in the industry or anything about the city and culture of Atlanta. Everyone thought I was quiet and timid but little did they know, I was silently studying and observing my surroundings. I took notes physically and mentally to help prepare me for my next job position. I networked with everyone who passed the halls at my job. I practiced and I studied day in and day out until I felt one hundred percent comfort.
When it was time for me to show what I learned, I shocked everyone and in return received numerous opportunities to do exactly what I've dreamed of and loved. I was no longer the new, timid millennial and it felt great being recognized for my skills and contributions to the company.
I'm not much of a dress-wearing gal. You'll honestly catch me in pants and sneakers the majority of the time. However, I love this picture because I'm still dressed up but I'm still the down-to-earth, homegirl Liz that those close to me know and love.
Ashley Janelle
Courtesy of Ashley Janelle
User Experience Designer
What makes me a powerful woman is being a black woman in the male-dominated tech industry.
The moment that forced me to embrace my power was when I took a job that consisted of majority male employees. I had to constantly remind myself that I belonged in that role just as much as everyone else, even while being talked over, and my ideas being thrown out.
Knowing that my perspective might not have been respected but was most definitely needed is what got me through the tough days.
Cynthia Anunobi
Courtesy of Cynthia Anunobi
Internal Medicine Resident
I'm female. I'm African American. I'm a daughter. I'm a sister. I'm an educator. I'm a doctor. Each of these titles, in its own way, has contributed to the person I am today. My power lies in the responsibility that comes with the titles.
These titles could have stifled and hindered me in many ways but instead, they transformed me into a strong, confident, independent woman which is necessary, especially working in a field where I am continuously doubted by others and my successes are underappreciated.
I still I keep going – not only for me, but to pave the road for others.
I realized early in my career that as an African American woman in medicine, I was representing ALL African American women. On many occasions, at conferences and symposiums, I am one of the few minorities in the room. With heavy eyes on me, I feel obligated to exude a strong, confident face despite sometimes feeling less than such. On one particular instance, I was at a conference to present my research on a new protocol for thrombolytic management for pulmonary embolism and post-procedural surveillance at my hospital. I was already anxious about presenting that afternoon and a gentleman walked up and asked if I was staff working at the hotel.
When I said no, he concluded I was the spouse of one of the presenters. Initially, I was annoyed but hey, I am mistaken for a cleaning lady or nurse daily. Anyway, you can only imagine the look on his face that afternoon when I was called up to the stage to share my research. After an astounding applause, he walked up to me after the presentation, shook my hand, and apologized for the "misunderstanding". He proceeded to hand me his card in case I was interested in pursuing a fellowship at his institution—I guess he was impressed!
I believe that what you wear plays a role in how you feel as well as how you are perceived by others. There is an indisputable confidence that exudes when I wear a sleek, yet commanding dress. It allows me to feel feminine and also allows me to be a boss. Paired with the right heels and accessories, I feel like I can conquer the world.
Featured image by Getty Images
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
RELATED
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
Courtesy
In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
Courtesy
With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
Courtesy
For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy