Diddy Finally Opens Up About The Real Reason He Didn't Marry Kim Porter
Life can serve us some unexpected curveballs, one of the most spontaneous is death. In the past year, we've lost a number of our favorite celebrities and the people that we feel for the most are their families because as well all know, the death of a loved one is most painful to the living. The deaths of celebrities including but not limited to Nipsey Hussle and Kim Porter hit so close to home because we can empathize with the family, friends, and sweethearts that they left behind.
It was pronounced that Kim Porter's death was caused by pneumonia, or an infection of the lungs, after she died in her Los Angeles home last November. Kim's death took the internet by storm, prompting a number of celebrities to post tributes in her honor, one of these celebrities being her former partner and father of three of her children, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs.
It's a fact that you don't know what you've got until it's gone, and this was especially true for the "I'll Be Missing You" rapper/producer. Diddy recently reflected on this sentiment in an Instagram post. Under a nostalgic photo of him and his "Bonnie", he wrote:
"I remember Kim flying to see me on the set of can't nobody hold me down. She took like a 12 hour flight to LA and 3 hour ride to the desert. With no complaints. Was always ride or die. From day 1! I called her BONNIE AND I WAS CLYDE! This picture will go down in history as the first time I said she was MINE!!!! AND THE FIRST TIME I TOLD HER I LOVE HER, little did I know I was hers. Miss you BONNIE ❤️ and will forever. Maaaaan life is beautiful to have had these experiences. Love you baby. @ladykp 🖤"
After posting the photo, the star received a whirlwind of backlash from fans who felt that he had done too little too late. One user even made the point that the picture that Diddy posted was taken around the time that Diddy began his widely publicized relationship with Jennifer Lopez during an "off-season" in Kim and his relationship. Despite the immense amount of speculation about Kim and Diddy's relationship, anyone with eyes can see that the couple had an unbreakable connection.
Sean Combs and his Georgia-born sweetheart met and began dating in the 90s when she was in a relationship with her first child, Quincy's, father, Al B. Sure and Diddy was still an A&R. In a 2006 interview with Essence, he explained:
"The first time I saw her, she was at the studio with her ex-boyfriend. I wasn't trying to holler at her or anything, but I was admiring her—her lips, her eyes, her mouth, her shape, her energy—and thinking, 'I wish I had a girl like that.'"
In this interview, Diddy also revealed that he had no real plans to marry Kim, even though he knew she deserved it.
"I know she deserves to get married, but I'm just not ready. It's not a reflection on how much I love Kim. It's that I'm just learning how to be a good boyfriend. When I'm finished with this step, I'll move on to the next."
During their 12-year on-and-off the relationship, Kim gave birth to a son, Christian Combs, and twin daughters, D'Lila Star, and Jessie James. Kim and Diddy split publicly in 2007 when she learned that he may have fathered a child outside of their relationship while she was pregnant with the twins, but they still remained close friends after the fact.
It's clear that Diddy and Kim had a genuine love for each other, and marriage wouldn't have necessarily validated that connection, but when someone dies, nothing stings worse than the regret of what "could have been."
This leads us to a very important question that Diddy has finally given us all the answer to: If you loved her so deeply, why didn't you make a real commitment?
The truth is, his inability to commit never really had much to do with Kim at all; he had to look inward for an answer:
"I wasn't ready and that's it. I'm ready now but it's too late. Don't be like me."
You heard it straight from the mogul's mouth, kids. Don't be Diddy. We're all guilty of ending a call on an unfavorable note, or procrastinating about mending old relationships. The untimely deaths of celebrities like Kim Porter and Nipsey Hussle remind us to tell the people we care about "I love you," as well as all of the other things we may need to get off our chests because tomorrow, it may be too late.
Nothing is promised, and this is especially true for the time we have to spend with the people we love. Like most relationships, Kim and Diddy's was imperfect, but it didn't make the love any less real. Rest in heaven Kim! Check out the gallery below to see a timeline of Diddy and Kim's lifetime of love.
Featured image by Peter Kramer/Getty Images.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images