4 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Give Up On Your Business
No matter what you do to a slinky, it will bounce right back to its original form. It stretches, it bends, it travels down stairs and can probably hit a clean milly rock on any block.
If you're not prepared to be this flexible or resilient in your pursuit of entrepreneurship, then maybe it isn't for you.
When we as entrepreneurs run into a wall, some easily break and never bounce back, abandoning business ideas and settling to "play it safe". However, success requires you to get out of your comfort zone.
Before you quit chasing your dream, give your journey in entrepreneurship an honest evaluation by answering these questions.
1.Am I In The Right Industry?
It is torture for me to watch people operate outside of their authentic selves. So many times I've seen women announce that they work in the beauty industry, but when they post pictures of their work… those pictures scream a thousand words – and beauty isn't one of them!
So my question to you is, are you doing something because it aligns with your talent and purpose? Or are you jumping on a bandwagon that you thought would take you places simply because it did for others?
I have several friends who are doing exceptionally well as hairstylists, photographers, fashion designers, and makeup artists. While I am a creative person, these jobs require a hands-on, artistic creativity that I am not qualified to charge customers for. Moral of the story? Don't go chasing waterfalls; stick to the rivers and the lakes that YOU are used to.
2.Have I Found A Solid Mentor?
Iron sharpens iron and if you want to excel in your craft, you've got to associate with people who are where you desire to be someday.
Even though friends and family mean well, they can't always pour into your vision. We live in the era of social media, so there's no excuse as to why you can't connect with a seasoned person in your field from the comfort of your home. Finding a mentor is easier than you think. Join Facebook groups that include professionals in your industry and search hashtags that are relevant to the type of people you want to commune with. It's the magic of social media!
3.Am I Overwhelmed?
Are you trying to plan a book launch, book speaking engagements, handle client invoices, diagnose website issues, design a flyer, and run your business at the same time?
You may be feeling burned out and suddenly not enthused from all the extra responsibility. Some folks can do all of these things effortlessly, but some of us (myself included) never will. That's okay because you can always outsource work to other entrepreneurs or employ interns. In addition to that, there are systems and apps to make your work life easier like Dubsado and Canva.
4.Am I Focused?
Sadly, sometimes the reason business doesn't pop the way we expect is because we're minding everyone's business except our own! When you work for yourself, there's no way to fake productivity.
You can't take 10 breaks a day, check text messages, and expect money to show up in your PayPal account. If you lack focus, you're probably lacking in finances – which means you have a hobby, not a business. To see the results you want in income, social media engagement, or event attendance, spend more time developing business and branding strategies. Friday nights will have to be sacrificed until you get things in order, but it will be all be worth it!
Originally published on CocoCurator.com.
Featured image by Getty Images
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A media maven somewhere in between Whitley Gilbert, Maxine Shaw, and Sandra Clark. I tell stories like Nas and Terry McMillian on April Fool's Day. Follow me on IG @cococurator.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How To Tell If You're Disciplining Your Child Or Seeking Revenge
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images