I felt the heat rising to my cheeks, a slight tingling continuing up to my temples and inching up the back of my ears. I took another sip of water, trying desperately to keep my composure.
Inhale. Count to 10. Exhale.
I pressed my fingertips against my temples and then reached for my glass once more, hoping to feign my horror as dehydration, when in reality, I was trying to keep the tears from flowing.
Keeping it 100% real: receiving negative feedback hurts.
We have all read the quotes touting the importance of bouncing back, how constructive criticism makes us better and stronger, and the role of adversity in identifying areas for improvement… the list is endless. However, these supposed benefits aren't always realized when first delivered.
Upon receipt of a negative review, feelings of inadequacy, frustration, confusion, denial, and even hopelessness can rise to the surface. And it's okay to acknowledge their existence in your quest for a comeback rather than force them down.
Especially for my fellow overachievers, receiving negative feedback when you are already your biggest critic isn't always easy. But, just know that you are not alone. Here are 5 tips to help you get back on track.
What To Do After A Bad Performance Review
1.The 3 R’s: Reflect, React, Rebound
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We all learned how to stop, drop, and roll in response to a sudden fire as children. Now, the 3 R's are our response to professional fire drills. Upon receiving constructive feedback, take a moment to digest the information prior to responding or defending yourself (reflect). Be it 24 hours later, or during a scheduled follow-up meeting, streamline stated feedback into action items that you can address, seek clarification upon, and implement (react). Later, apply stated feedback and/or provide proof of adherence to begin the process of working towards more solid, positive future feedback (rebound).
2.Note Areas for Improvement
An extension of the first "R", reflect, be sure to specifically note which items you need to improve upon and ensure that you fully understand what changes are being asked of you. If your manager requests that you come in earlier, your next question should be: "What time?" Don't make assumptions. Ask for explicit examples of improved performance so you will know how to succeed and what benchmarks you're being judged against.
3.Implement Feedback
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After you know what is expected of you, do it! Even if it takes a while to get in the swing of things, remember that repetition and "practice makes permanent". Expectation setting and reshaping your own habits can be especially difficult when you work with managers who are particularly set in their ways.
Note: While you are trying to work your way towards more favorable reviews, this is often not the best time to try to force new ideas or changes to your team or boss, even if your suggestions are "right" or "more efficient". Know your manager and know your timing. Your opportunity to make a meaningful impact will come and will likely be more greatly appreciated when they trust the consistency and quality of your work.
4.Document Your Adherence
Keep your receipts, sis. Not only does documentation show good organization and listening skills, but in the event any questions regarding your improvement arise, it's always good to have clearly outlined examples of your behavior handy. In some situations, your documentation can be your lifeline. Don't let others put words in your mouth.
5.Proactively Seek Feedback
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You don't have to wait to be surprised during your performance review and feedback sessions. If anything, you should aim to not have any surprises during your review cycles. Be proactive and try asking your interviewers out to coffee or making a point to check in with your manager once or twice a week to assess how they feel about your performance. Sometimes small annoyances like your project turnover rate or time spent on your cell phone can manifest into job-altering assumptions from the viewpoint of your manager. Don't wait until it's too late. Check in early.
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Featured image by Getty Images.
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VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
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