

The word “pegging” makes a lot of people nervous, but it isn’t nearly as scary as it sounds. We often see it in movies as a joke or a negative experience, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, pegging is usually an intensely pleasurable and intimate sexual experience.
A Beginner's Guide to Pegging
More than that, it's a way to reverse traditional penetration roles, spice up your sex life, and, if you have a prostate, take your orgasms to the next level.
What Is Pegging In Sex?
Pegging isn’t all that complicated - one partner wears a strap-on dildo and penetrates the other partner anally. It originated as a woman wearing a dildo and penetrating a man, but now, it has progressed in which any gender can be the giver or receiver.
There are a few things you’ll need before you get started:
Lube is critical in any kind of anal play. Don’t get the cheap stuff either - you’ll want lubrication that lasts long, won’t damage your sex toys, and makes penetration smooth and comfortable.
A harness or strap-on dildo is the main component here. A harness straps onto your waist and fits a dildo, while a strap-on is a single toy that includes both. For beginners, it’s better to just buy a strap-on.
A vibrator is optional, but it can take your pleasure to the next level. Vibrating dildos aren’t much pricier than standard ones, so I’d recommend getting a vibrator and deciding later if you want to use it or not.
Is Pegging Safe?
Yes! Pegging is absolutely safe, but as always it’s important to practice good hygiene and communicate with your partner.
“Start slow and communication with your partner throughout,” says sex educator Nina Nguyen from Fraulila. “Have them give you feedback on what feels good and stop if either of you starts to feel pain.” Anal play can cause discomfort, especially if you aren’t used to it.
If you’re new to anal, take it slow and try to relax as your body gets used to the penetration. If you’ve got experience with anal, pegging isn’t all that different.
Why Do Straight Men Enjoy Getting Pegged?
There are several reasons people try pegging, but sex and relationship coach Nicole Shafer explains it best, “Well, short answer- it feels good!” she explains. “There are so many reasons individuals can be interested in pegging… from pleasure to powerplay to exploring something new, it brings about excitement.”
For some couples, pegging is about reversing their normal penetration dynamic. For others, it can be about submission and dominance. Some couples just love the way it feels. Regardless of the reason, it’s quickly becoming a popular sexual activity.
How To Ask Your Partner If You Could Try Pegging
A lot of people - especially heterosexual men - might not be comfortable with the idea of pegging at first. It isn’t necessarily seen as a “normal” sexual practice yet, and the initial discomfort can be frightening.
It’s never okay to pressure your partner into an act they aren’t comfortable with, but you can have an educational conversation and go from there. Pegging takes a lot of trust because you can hurt your partner if you don’t listen to them.
Talk about why you want to try pegging. Explain that it starts slow and they will be in control of the speed and intensity the entire time. They may say no, and that’s okay. You won’t regret talking about it, even if it doesn’t happen.
A Beginner's Guide To Pegging: 7 Tips Everyone Should Know For Their First Time
1. Start with foreplay
Pegging can be intense, especially the first time, so don’t jump straight in. Getting in the mood will help you both relax, which makes your partner’s body more receptive to penetration.
Sex isn’t a race. Do things you know your partner enjoys, and start pegging when it feels natural.
2. Use Lube!
I cannot stress this enough - use lube! Professional Parisian dominatrix Madame Toska suggests you lubricate both ends generously. “Lubricate that hole, then lubricate the dildo. Start with the smallest dildo you have.”
Lots of people swear by coconut oil, but any lube will work. Just make sure to try it in advance to ensure you don’t have any allergic reactions and do your research to make sure it won’t damage your toys.
3. Find the Right Position
This is going to vary depending on you and your partner’s preferences, but pegging them from behind is a good place to start. They might prefer to start on top so they have more control over the penetration.
It’ll take some experimenting to find what’s best for both of you but start in the position that feels most relaxing.
4. Slow and Steady
Don’t get ahead of yourself. If the receiving partner isn’t used to anal penetration, you need to go slow. It will take some time before you can speed up, and their body will need time to adapt to every inch of penetration.
I’d highly recommend using fingers, butt plugs, or small toys for practice before you move up to pegging. No one’s butt can go from zero to strap-on in one night.
5. Thrust Carefully
Dominatrix Madame Toska says that even in BDSM, the receiving partner has the final say with pegging. “The person receiving the pegging is always in control,” she says, “Even when there is a dominant/submissive dynamic involved.”
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Talk
You and your partner both want each other to enjoy sex, so don’t keep any secrets about what you’re feeling. If it hurts, say so! If it feels amazing, say that too! No one gets pegging perfect on the first try, but if you communicate to find the right rhythm, it’s euphoric.
7. Take Care of Your Partner Afterward
Pegging isn’t the kind of thing where you can roll over and fall asleep right after. Remove the dildo slowly, and tell them what you’re doing as you’re doing it. Check-in with your partner to see how they’re feeling and if they need anything.
It helps to have a towel to set aside the dildo in, and maybe a wet cloth to help clean them up. If it’s your first time, have a conversation about how they felt, what they liked or didn’t like and if they want to try it again.
Pegging isn’t for everyone, but there’s no harm in experimenting. If you decide to give it a try, make sure to take it slow and build up to it. It may take some time to get it right, but it’s worth it.
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'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Swipe Right For Sisterhood: Reginae Carter Talks Teaming Up With BLK To Make Friendships Front & Center
You know the vibes: dating apps aren’t just for finding romance anymore—at least not for Gen Z! As young people continue to redefine connection, BLK, the leading dating app for Black singles, is shaking things up with the launch of Social Mode. The new feature allows users to toggle between dating and platonic connections. Yep, you read that right—friendship is now just as easy to find as love.
To kick off this game-changing launch, BLK teamed up with TV personality and socialite Reginae Carter for the ultimate Girls’ Night In, proving that sisterhood is just as important as romance. The exclusive event was a celebration of the new feature and the power of Black women coming together to uplift one another.
“Your circle is everything,” Reginae shares with a smile, and she’s not wrong. She’s all about creating spaces where we can come together, let our hair down, and vibe with like-minded women. “We deserve spaces to meet, uplift, and vibe with each other. BLK is making that happen,” she adds.
A New Era for Friendships—Social Mode Is Here!
Gen Z is all about building meaningful connections, whether it’s with a date or a new brunch buddy. That’s why Social Mode is such a big deal. Research shows that 65% of Gen Z values friendships just as much as romantic relationships. With BLK’s new feature, users can easily toggle between “Dating” and “Social,” opening up a world of platonic connections—no swiping right required.
Bahja Rodriguez, Reginae Carter, Breaunna Womack, Lourdes Rodriguez and Zonnique Pullins attend OMG Girlz "Make A Scene" Single Release & Video Viewing Party at Trap City Cafe on March 27, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia
Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage
Reginae Carter Hosts the Ultimate Girls’ Night In—Powered by BLK Social Mode
What better way to show Social Mode in action than with an exclusive Girls’ Night In, hosted by Reginae? The event brought together top influencers, tastemakers, and press for a night of luxury, self-care, and real talk about love, sex, and relationships. From tarot readings to perfume-making and signature cocktails, the evening embodied the “soft life” vibe that many Black women are embracing in 2025—peaceful, intentional, and full of joy.
Guests mingled, laughed, and bonded over the importance of finding a tribe that supports you. It wasn’t just about fun (although there was plenty of that!)—it was about creating a circle of inspiring, strong women. “We need to stick together. We need to be each other’s village,” Reginae says, emphasizing the power of community over competition.
Sisterhood: The Real MVP
For Reginae, it’s all about friendship—and not just the surface-level kind. “We need friends who keep it real with us. The ones who can tell us when we’re right, when we’re wrong, and when we need to calm down,” she says. As someone who navigates the spotlight, she’s got the best of both worlds: friends who understand the grind and those who can give her an honest, grounded perspective.
Her advice for building strong, intentional friendships? “Be confident in yourself and know your worth,” she explains. “Also, hurt people hurt people, so make sure you’re coming from a good place when you’re building relationships. It’s not always about being nice—sometimes it’s about being real.”
Reginae couldn’t have summed it up better: “When you have the right circle, the right tribe, everything just feels easier. And that’s exactly what BLK is giving us—space to connect, laugh, and grow with each other.”
To learn more about BLK’s Social Mode, download or update the BLK app in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Who knows? You might just find your new bestie or your next brunch crew.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage