

Got A Migraine? These 10 Foods May Be The Actual Cause.
I've never had a migraine before. From what one of my closest friends has said, it looks like I need to thank my lucky stars on the daily because she describes them as being pure hell on earth. While oftentimes they're simply described as being an absolutely awful headache, migraines are actually a type of neurological condition that can come with many more symptoms than just a throbbing headache. Some people end up with dizziness, nausea, vomiting and/or extreme sensitivity to light. Not only that but some folks actually receive physical indicators, alerting them that a migraine is on the way too. Some of those signs include food cravings, fatigue, irritability, neck stiffness and even depression.
Even though most migraines "only" last for around 4-5 hours, there are instances when they can go on for as long as a week. The really sucky part, though, is there currently isn't a cure for migraines. Treatment is all about getting properly diagnosed by your healthcare provider, considering the medications or other forms of therapy that they might recommend—oh, and doing all that you can to prevent them from happening in the first place.
That's what this article is going to touch on because, believe it or not, there are certain kinds of foods that can either trigger a migraine or make one so much worse for you. If you're someone who suffers with migraines, you might want to adjust your grocery list from now on. Some stuff may taste really great; yet, without you even realizing it, they are making you feel so much worse.
1. Watermelon
I know, right? How in the world can some watermelon trigger a migraine? Well, the deal is that, if you get one when it's perfectly ripe, you might be OK. The challenge is, that's a hit-or-miss endeavor and if you do end up with one that is not ripe enough, the acid that it produces could give you a migraine. Not only that but if the watermelon is too ripe, that can produce the biogenic amine called tyramine—which can give you one of the worst migraines you've ever had!
You can reduce the chances of encountering either issue by cutting up your watermelon as soon as you get home and putting what you don't plan on eating over the next day or so in the freezer. Also, do not leave a watermelon sitting out for more than a couple of days if you do suffer from migraines. Leaving one out only increases your chances of the watermelon becoming too ripe and giving you all sorts of headaches. Literally.
2. Caffeine
Caffeine is a weird one. It is a diuretic and dehydration definitely doesn't help to prevent a migraine; however, research hasn't been able to find the exact reason for why it's best to consume as little of it as possible if you don't want to bring a migraine on.
Long story short, if you have one serving of say, coffee a day, you should be fine. Three or more cups of java, Pepsi or whatever your caffeine fix may be could cause you to have a migraine for the rest of the day. If that ain't a good enough reason to cut back, I don't know what is.
3. Chocolate
I don't know too many people who don't enjoy chocolate. That's why, if you're a migraine sufferer, I really do hate to be the bearer of bad news. Still, it must be said that if you're all about getting some chocolate in and it also seems like migraines come out of nowhere, chocolate could be an underlying culprit.
The problem is it's full of caffeine and an organic compound known as beta-phenylethylamine. Matter of fact, I actually read that when it comes to foods that do trigger migraines, chocolate is second on the list. Sorry, sis.
4. Aged Cheese
I touched on tyramine when I was talking about watermelon. When it comes to aged cheeses, let me break it down a little more. Long story short, tyramine is a natural compound that is found in animals and plants. More specifically, it's an amino acid that can help to regulate your blood pressure. The challenge is, too much of it in your system can actually lead to side effects that can make you miserable. Some of those include high blood pressure and yep, you guessed it—migraines.
As it relates to aged cheese specifically, the "older" it is, the more tyramine that's in it. This means that blue cheese, feta, Parmesan, gouda, aged cheddar and Brie are all the kinds of cheese that may taste good but aren't great for you in the not-having-a-headache department.
5. Soy
Because soy contains a high amount of phytoestrogens, it's best to consume it in moderation. Another reason why this is such a good idea is because soy also has tyramine in it as well as MSG (monosodium glutamate) which is an additive that gives flavor to things like soy sauce, soups, condiments, chips and instant noodles.
Unfortunately, MSG is oftentimes linked to cramps and headaches. That, along with the tyramine and high amounts of sodium which can drain water from your system, if anything creates the perfect storm for a migraine, soy would be it.
6. Alcohol
For those of you who like nothing more than a glass of red wine at the end of the day, I don't know what to tell you. Well, other than the truth. The bottom line here is alcohol is a diuretic and when you're dehydrated, that can definitely either bring on a headache or make one that you've already got a whole lot worse. One study I read said that 35 percent of the people who participated in it admitted that alcohol was a top migraine trigger.
If you're like, "IDC, IDC" on this, at least drink a glass of water before and after any kind of alcohol consumption. Otherwise, you could end up having a migraine from hell. And now, you'll know exactly why.
7. Pineapple
Pineapples are a bit of a wild card. The reason why I say that is because if you have headaches that you know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, are allergy-induced, a couple of slices of fresh pineapple may help you out. The backstory is bromelain is an enzyme that provides an anti-inflammatory and antihistamine effect.
On the flip side, it's not the best thing for you if you suffer with migraines because they're highly acidic and the acid could do more harm than good. Proceed with caution.
8. Processed Meats
I said processed meats but honestly, any kind of salty foods can go into this category. The reason why these can trigger migraines is again, sodium has a way of increasing one's blood pressure while dehydrating them at the same time. That combo is a migraine just waiting to happen.
So, if eating bacon is how you typically start your morning, you might wanna go with something else and see if you have less migraines once you do.
9. Bananas
Guess what else has its fair share of tyramine in it? Before you throw your monitor, the good news is banana peels have around 10 times more of the compound in it than the actual pulp of the fruit does. So, if you limit yourself to about half of a banana a day, you should be OK. Only, make sure that you remove all of the strings from it because, technically, those are considered to be a part of the peel not the pulp.
The more you know.
10. Ice Cream
Although I put ice cream here, the reality is anything that's super cold could qualify. And just why are cold foods a migraine-triggering issue? Whenever we eat things that are really cold in temperature, that coldness can trigger the local pain receptors in our sinuses. Also, when we take something cold into our system, the blood vessels at the roof and back of our mouths end up relaxing which can cause the cold to go straight to our head which can cause pain too.
There isn't too much that can be done to avoid this. What I will say is not having ice cream or choosing not to suck on an ice cube right after you've exercised (because your body will be overheated) and not consuming these things too quickly can certainly help.
I know this was hard to take but something tells me that eating these less is certainly better than enduring another migraine. Hey, at least give it a try. This simple "food hack" could do a world of difference in the earth-shattering-headache-known-as-a-migraine department. Let us know.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
Exclusive: KJ Smith Talks Viral Wedding With Skyh Black: ‘We Did What We Wanted To Do’
Whether it was your group chat, social media feed, or your favorite media outlet covering the spectacle, I’m pretty sure you’ve come across the viral Black wedding between actress KJ Smith (Sistas, Raising Kanan) and actor Skyh Black (All the Queen’s Men, Sistas). From their grand entrance to Jay-Z, Kayne West, and Beyoncé’s song “Lift Off” to KJ’s standout dance routine and the endless celebrity appearances, it’s an addictive TikTok scroll you can’t help but delve into.
But what many people would be surprised to know is that the couple’s original wedding plan was nothing like what it grew to be. What started as her simply scrolling through posts to get ideas eventually transformed into what the internet knows now as #TheBlackExperience. In an exclusive conversation with xoNecole, KJ walked us through her planning process, the morning of her wedding, and what she thinks of the online response.
Some women have their whole wedding planned out, from the bridal gown and venue to the bridal party and playlist. However, KJ was not one of those people. “I didn’t foresee a wedding in my future,” she reveals. “I was just gonna be the boss chick, rich auntie. I didn’t force love in my life until recently. I never had an idea of what a dream wedding would look like, it was easier for me to elope.”
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
And to many people’s surprise, that was their original plan – until Skyh brought up a valid concern. He was raised by his grandmother and thought she should be at the wedding, and naturally, that led to KJ wanting her grandmother to be there as well – then her mom – and later her sister – and, you’ve gotta invite the besties too, right? From there, the guest list continued to blossom. Much like the updo and pop of color bold red lip, she wore on her special day, which was initially on her Pinterest board as a soft glam look with her hair hanging on her shoulders, KJ is okay with changing her plan if it brings her and her loved ones happiness.
So let’s get into the wedding, which took place in Malibu, CA. The first thing you should know about the celebrity couple is that they’re non-traditional. They know, and they don’t care. So, in true unconventional fashion, they shared the morning of the wedding together.
“I woke up with Skyh, we walked our dog, had black coffee, and said good morning to the people who stayed at the venue with us,” she says.
Now, it was time for hair and makeup. While she was getting glammed up, she had Black-owned McBride Sisters wine and champagne (which ties into The Black Experience theme) on deck with her mom and friends, had her besties help rework her vows, retried on every outfit (sis is very Type-A), took photos, and ended the early-celebration with prayer and meditation. It seems very non-Bridezilla, I said.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company,” she explains. “The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
Things moved quickly, and before she knew it, it was time to line up to walk down the aisle.
“Yeah, I was the most unbothered bride ever. Everyone was just so supportive. As entertainers, we go on red carpets all the time. We actually have a production company. The get-ready process was like a day at work, but with people we love the most. Being entertainers, we didn’t feel stressed at all, but my excitement was so high.”
KJ Smith and her bridal party
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Since everything started with their grandmothers, the couple wanted to ensure they honored them and planned to keep an element of their wedding traditional. Although we’ve all seen the reception videos and photos online, you may have noticed visuals from the wedding itself are harder to find.
“We planned for it to be traditional, but we’re not like that, so we tried to create those moments. We jumped the broom and had a salt ceremony (where the bride and groom individually pour salt into a glass container, symbolizing their lives becoming one.) But honestly, still, nothing was traditional about it.”
She goes on to explain that her mom caught the holy ghost coming down the aisle, her glam team was on deck, and she became so nervous with excitement that she had an anxiety attack – something she struggled with for years, she explains tearfully. Her friends had to literally cheer her down the aisle because of how overwhelmed she felt until she eventually calmed down.
“Skyh was standing there with his hand on his heart; we have our own little language, and I could feel the support,” she shares.
It was surprising to hear all these emotional moments happened before the party we saw online. That is until she once again got into the backstory.
“As a Black woman actress, for so long, it was popular to be mysterious and secretive, but that’s not who I am or what I like. Plus, we both wanted to create an experience for everyone there. We are the people who always host family and friends,” she says. “Like for me, the first order of business was getting sandals for the women so they can dance all night long. We had oxtail, D'ussé, and a coffee and sativa lounge – which is part of Skyh and I’s lifestyle and routine. We wanted to bring them into our world.”
Skyh Black (L) and KJ Smith (R)
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
She went on to discuss the dance routine she did for her husband at the reception, which has taken over the internet. Apparently, that’s another thing that didn’t go according to plan. According to KJ, she had promised a performance at their joint bachelor/ bachelorette party, but her outfit got stolen from her car. So, Skyh ended up performing for her – complete with a strip tease. Still, she never forgot her promise to dance for him.
So, she hired her friend as a choreographer, learned the routine, made friends and family watch it endless times, and attended Beyoncé’s Renaissance show a few days before for a confidence boost. It ended up being a show to remember. But that wasn’t all the night offered. Lil Mo performed, and the guests received special goody bags featuring their favorite Black-owned products like journals, hair care, and more.
“We made sure everyone was taken care of all night. That kind of stuff makes us happy. I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives,” she says.
But naturally, the internet is going to internet, and while there were countless people praising the event and applauding the newlyweds, some thought it was too over the top. I was curious to know her thoughts on some of the criticism.
“It’s cool. We did what we wanted to do. I’ve decided to share my world with people. Just how I went on social media platforms and found inspiration, I want people to do the same,” she explains. “I don’t think it's fair to my supporters not to give that out. There’s so much I wanna share with brides, specifically Black brides. I love that people are adding it to their Pinterest boards."
"I wanted everyone there to experience the joy and love I have for myself, my partner, and for them. I wanted them to feel full and whole, and they had the time of their lives."
KJ Smith
Photo by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
“I’m happy with it because we did what we wanted to do. They can do what they wanna do. Don’t be cruel, though, because you will get blocked,” she said, laughing.
The more I spoke with her, the more her sense of freedom shined through. People are always going to have their opinions, but at the end of the day, it’s you who has to live your life, and it seems like the couple realizes that and embraces that power. She also stressed the importance of not living for others and the lessons life has taught her.
“I’ve been to countless weddings, and I’ve been in countless weddings. I’m a generally older bride. So when women in my demographic get married, and you and your husband are busy working people like us, you deserve to have the one you want to have,” she shares.
“This is what we wanted to do. Our loved ones love and support us. We did so much to honor them, but we also wanted to start our own tradition, legacy, and creation. I'm not going to be pulled back into ideas of the past when I’m trying to create a future with my partner. “
If you’d like to see more of the couple, you probably won’t have to wait long. Although no content is planned yet, she admits to being an oversharer. “Me being open and transparent about my experiences lets people know it’s okay to have flaws; it makes you human, and for many years, I didn’t believe that was okay. I had pressure to be perfect, and I’d crumble every time,” she explains to xoNecole.
Now, she owns her flaws and uses them as a superpower to connect with her community and feel and express her love.
“Some people give us [Skyh and KJ] a hard time because they say we just seem too perfect. I’m like, why is that a bad thing? I love the people I love. From my man to my mama, to my friends - unabashedly. We move through time and space how we want to move. If we did it another way, we’d let ourselves and our union down.”
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Feature image by Stanley Babb/ Stanlo Photography
Ready To Try Queening? Everything To Know About The Sex Position That Centers Your Pleasure
In my opinion, oral sex is the best type of sex. In the words of my favorite female R&B group, “You gotta go downtown, that’s the way to my love...” But if you want to enhance your oral sex experience, you gotta try face-sitting.
Face-sitting has been making its rounds again on the interwebs, however, it’s been around since the 1800s. During that time, it became increasingly popular for “upper-class women” to enjoy sexual gratification from men and avoid pregnancy all at the same damn time.
What Is Queening or Face-Sitting?
Face-sitting is just what it says, sitting on your partner’s face. We're talking genital-to-face contact here. We're talking delightfully, smothering intimate oral sex. Face-sitting can be a deeply fulfilling experience for both partners since it allows them to develop incredible intimacy and closeness. Because of its throne metaphor, face-sitting is sometimes called queening. In comparison to traditional penetrative intercourse, face sitting can lead to orgasms that are much more frequent for cisgender women. This makes total sense since it’s been scientifically proven that direct clitoral stimulation boosts intense orgasms.
The only couple I trust when it comes to learning how to “face-sit” correctly are sex experts Dee H. Black and Laydee Vee of DVPassion. When I found out they actually teach a “face-sitting” class at Exxxotica a while back, I had to interview them.
Laydee Vee believes sitting makes people of all sizes feel comfortable praising their partner. Through breath play and smothering, participants learn how to enhance communication. The top person gives instructions to their partner below, which can make them feel dominant, powerful, and in control, whereas bottom partners may feel empowered and submissive.
Queening 101: The Most Ideal Sex Positions For Face-Sitting
Women sometimes hesitate to try face-sitting for fear of hurting their partner or being too heavy. Personally, I subscribe to the philosophy, "If they die, they die!" If they gotta go, why not go in between my legs? However, to build confidence, Laydee Vee suggests looking within. “Confidence starts with you. If you’re nervous, your partner may sense it, causing harm. Once you feel comfortable, you can experiment with different positions to find the one that works best for you.”
Once you become more comfortable, face-sitting can be even more enjoyable for you and your partner. A good position to try and build your confidence is the classic reverse cowgirl position, with your partner lying on their back and you straddling their face while facing their feet. By adding a pillow, the bottom partner can lean back more and add pressure to the vulva to intensify the face-sitting experience.
In addition to using a pillow while in the facesitting position, the bottom partner can also use other sex toys. For example, he or she can use a butt plug or a dildo to feel enjoyable. You can also engage in face sitting while you're on your knees or in a squat with a pillow for support if you want to take things to the next level. You'll experience more sensations and pressure as a result of this.
A personal favorite from Laydee Vee and Dee Black’s workshop is “The Queening Position,” where the person on top sits on the bottom’s face like a chair. For those of you that love anal play, this can be a really intense way to get it. You can also get up close to the anus and stimulate it with your mouth and tongue. If you are feeling adventurous, you can also try stroking the anus with your fingers.
Another advantage of face-sitting over other positions is that it can be used for threesomes and group sex. The top can, for instance, use their hands or a sex toy to satisfy others while simultaneously getting pleasured through genital stimulation from the bottom. The bottom, on the other hand, can also experience genital pleasure from others or even penetration while engaging in oral sex with the top.
Face-Sitting: How To Enjoy The Queening Position Comfortably & Safely
Although a number of people can enjoy the act of face-sitting, it is a very risky and potentially dangerous practice. It is possible to hurt your partner if you aren’t careful, hence why communication is key. As with any sexual act, it's important to talk with your partner ahead of time about their comfort level with face-sitting, as well as any potential boundaries or concerns they may have. In many cases, it may be helpful to start with a more gentle, exploratory approach, such as placing your partner's face between your thighs without bearing down too heavily.
Many things can be done to make face-sitting more comfortable for those who are hesitant about it. The first thing that you should do is get a good understanding of anatomy and the position. You might also want to discuss what kind of stimulation you're looking for in a face-sitting session with your partner.
A queening chair, a chair with a hole in the seat big enough for a mouth and part of the face to fit through, is another option I suggested. After lying on their back, the person on the bottom slides under the chair, allowing them to perform oral sex on the person sitting on top. Lastly, it's a good idea to have a signal with your partner for when they need a break. This can be as simple as tapping on their thigh or butt, but it's a great way to avoid having the session become too intense for them.
With a little bit of communication, experimentation, and attention to safety and pleasure, face-sitting can be a wonderfully intimate and satisfying addition to your sexual repertoire. So go forth with confidence and enjoy all the exciting new sensations this position can offer!
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