Parker McKenna Posey has come along way since My Wife and Kids. Most affectionately known for her role as little Kady Kyle on the hit ABC primetime show, she now stars as Laila James, the struggling and seductive actress looking to make a name for herself on the new BET hit series Games People Play. And while Parker and Laila differ in the way they go about establishing themselves in the world, it becomes clear as we chat that Parker wasn't exempt from adversity both inside and outside of the industry.
The 23-year-old actress admits during our phone call that the journey to get here has no doubt been filled with both let-downs and lessons alike. Taking the form of an acting hiatus while she finished high school, moving out of town, enduring a toxic relationship, unsuccessful auditions, and even a car breakdown the night before her BET audition--Parker assures me that those hardships weren't and won't ever be in vain.
"There were all these obstacles that were testing me in a way, kind of asking me, 'Do you really want this?'" she tells xoNecole. "So to have my manager call me not too long after and tell me, 'Hey they want you to test,' was such an amazing feeling. It was like a sign like, 'This is what you're supposed to be doing and all your hard work has finally paid off.'"
She continues, "It's definitely been a struggle, but I'm just happy to be back working on something that I'm super proud of being a part of. I love the cast and crew, it's all been really fun."
We got the chance to catch up with Parker where we talked her new show Games People Play, evolution, and why letting go of dead weight is so important, and here's what she had to say.
Describe your role as Laila James in 'Games People Play'.
Parker McKenna Posey: Laila James is an LA girl. She's a struggling actress, which is funny. She finds out that it's not as easy as just being talented or auditioning every other day. She realizes that that may not always get the job done, so she takes matters into her own hands. She kind of uses social media to get followers and views and blackmail in a sense. She just uses it for her own gain and throughout the season she finds that all that glitters isn't gold basically. She likes the attention but I think in the end she sees it's not worth it. I think right now people will love to hate her but by the end, people will come to understand her.
Games People Play/BET
How does it feel to be back on TV screens in this way on a network like BET?
Parker: To be honest, that was another thing that was really important to me coming back on-screen. I wanted to be a part of an all-black ensemble. On top of that, just having the chance to be on this network is amazing. I know BET is trying to make a difference on their network and bring more scripted shows and great projects to their network, so to be a part of that is really amazing. And to have an EP that's a black woman and who's been doing this for over twenty years--I feel like that was just an incredible experience to work with her and to just be in the same room as her. The writers are black and I love that. That was really important to me. To be a part of a project that cares about black excellence, it's really important at this time.
You’ve definitely come a long way from ‘My Wife and Kids’. 2006 to 2019, that’s 13 years, what has life been like for you since then?
Parker: We finished in 2006, so it's definitely been a long, long time… I just put it on hold throughout high school and I just focused on graduating and doing my best in school. I was trying to have the most normal experience possible, and then after that I kind of jumped back into it. I was constantly auditioning and try to figure out what the right fit for me. I was getting offered all these roles that weren't really how I wanted to come back and start off my career.
Parker McKenna Posey as Laila James
Games People Play/BET
"To be a part of a project that cares about black excellence, it's really important at this time."
I can imagine the journey between now and then has been filled with many twists and turns. How were able to stay focused and motivated?
Parker: To be honest, acting was all I've known my whole life, you know? Even after My Wife and Kids wrapped, I did a few plays, I've done so many commercials and I've gotten actually involved with modeling--so this industry is all I've known. It's something I've always been super passionate about and I've seen that if I just never give up, I would eventually get my moment. When you follow other child actresses' lives, it doesn't always end up the best, so I definitely wanted to show up in a positive way--and show that it can definitely be done. If you believe in yourself, you can definitely do it.
The name of the show is called ‘Games People Play’ and we arguably get to see a myriad of games displayed through the lives of all of the characters in various areas. What’s something you feel our generation needs to stop playing games about?
Parker: I'm not sure, I'm glad that there is a character like Laila and even if I wasn't playing her, the fact that there is a character like her--I feel like you can learn some things. I think also because people use social media in a lot of different ways, they should see that it's not all it's cracked up to be. People suffer from depression now because we're constantly comparing our lives to the things we see all day long. So I'm glad that my character is representing our age group and how we sometimes play into the social media game. Because it's kind of sad how we base our lives off of Instagram and likes and stuff like that. It's very real, its not just based off some bullsh-t.
You were in a pretty toxic relationship last year and it was unfortunately very public. How were you able to move forward and get back to the heart of Parker?
Parker: Thankfully, I have a really good family and friends who really care about me and my well-being. I'm a normal person, I don't like to really live my life online. I like to live a private life. Last year was really different for me, I just wasn't myself. And I feel like having a good foundation, writing, reading, hearing from other people's experiences and really surrounding myself with people I could lean on--that helped me. Writing how I feel--that really helped me and praying! I've become so much more spiritual. I've always believed in God and my Dad is an Adventist so we were always at church every Saturday until we were old enough to say no (laughs).
But when you're younger, it's hard to have that relationship with God and really understand. I've gotten so much closer to God, just talking with Him and not really asking for anything but just talking to Him about everything and thanking Him for being alive and for my blessings. I really had to come home and figure out what it was I wanted to do. I had to do some soul-searching and get down to the nitty-gritty of because I kind of lost myself. I had to talk with myself, meditate, hike, I got a trainer, worked out, started eating better. You know, you don't really realize how certain relationships can even affect your outer appearance. So I really needed to focus on myself, not do anything but spend time with ME and get ME back right.
"I really had to come home and figure out what it was I wanted to do. I had to do some soul-searching and get down to the nitty-gritty of because I kind of lost myself."
We often hear a lot of established and older women talking about the importance of letting go of dead weight and baggage. Erykah Badu made a whole song about it. But why would you say it’s important for you and those of us in this generation to do the same?
Parker: I really believe in taking care of yourself and letting go of any negativity. It's important to work on your mental state. You can get so much farther in life by being strong mentally. And that can start by doing something like simply working out, it doesn't always have to mean going to therapy and telling someone all of your problems. But just starting with the inside definitely helps because it shows. If your inside is not right, then your outside is definitely not going to be 100. And you can only pretend for so long before it starts eating at you. So it's necessary to let go of that dead weight and whatever you feel is holding you back.
For more of Parker, follow her on Instagram. Catch her starring as Laila in BET's Games People Play on Tuesdays at 9.
Featured image via BET
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Camesha created the organization after her struggles with mental health and the lack of community she experienced. The Chicago native explains how she created Sista Afya to be rooted in “culturally grounded care.”
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“So at my organization, Sista Afya Community Care, we focus on providing mental health care through a cultural and gender lens,” she tells xoNecole. “So when we think about the term intersectionality, coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw, we think about the multiple identities that lead to certain experiences and outcomes as it relates to Black women.
“So in the context of culturally grounded care, being aware of the cultural history, the cultural values, and then also the current issues that impact mental health outcomes.”
Words like “strong” and “independent” have long been associated with Black women for some time and many of us have begun to embrace the soft life and are using rest as a form of resistance. However, some of us still struggle with putting ourselves first and overall shedding the tainted image of the “strong, Black woman” that had been forced on us.
Camesha shares that while there’s more and more communities being created around empowerment and shared interests like running, she still questions, “are Black women really comfortable with being vulnerable about sharing their experiences?”
Being vulnerable with ourselves and others play an important role in healing the instinctive nature of always being “on” for everyone. “I'm currently facilitating a group on high functioning depression, and yesterday, we talked about how when Black women may be struggling or have shared their concerns with other people. They may be minimized, or they're told to just be strong, or it's not so bad, or I went through something worse back in Jim Crow era, so you should be thankful,” she explains.
“So I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people. So that is probably a very common theme. I think we've made a lot of progress when we talk about the superwoman syndrome, the mammy stereotype, the working hard stereotype, the nurturing stereotype. I think we're beginning to unpack those things, but I still see that we have definitely a long way to go in that area.”
I think there's a challenge with Black women being able to be honest, to be vulnerable and to receive the support that they need in the same capacity as how much they give support to other people.
Roman Samborskyi/ Shutterstock
While we’re unpacking those things, we know that we’re still women at the end of the day. So as we continue to serve in various roles like mothers, daughters, sisters, and caretakers, we have to make caring for ourselves a priority. Camesha reveals four ways we can still care for others without abandoning ourselves.
Trust
First things first, trust. Camesha explains, “Some of the burdens that Black women have can be linked to not feeling like you can trust people to carry the load with you.
“It's hard because people experience trauma or being let down or different experiences, but one of the things that I found personally is the more that I'm able to practice trust, the more I'm able to get my needs met. Then, to also show up as my best to care for other Black women.”
Know Your Limitations
Another thing Camesha highlighted is Black women knowing their limitations. “The other thing that I would like to bring up in terms of a way to care for yourself is to really know your limitations, or know how much you can give and what you need to receive,” she says.
“So often, what I see with Black women is giving, giving, giving, giving, giving to the point that you're not feeling well, and then not receiving what you need in return to be able to feel well and whole individually. So I really think it's important to know your limitations and know your capacity and to identify what it is that you need to be well.”
Don’t Take On A Lot Of Responsibilities
Next on the list is not taking on so many responsibilities, sharing herself as an example. “The other thing is taking on too much responsibility, especially in a time of vulnerability.
“One thing that I personally struggled with was being so passionate about community mental health for Black women, and saying yes to everything and taking on so much responsibility,” she reveals. “That affected me to do well in serving Black women and then also impacting my own well being.”
Practice Self-Care
Lastly, she notes the importance of practicing self-care. “The last thing is really practicing regular self care, regular community care, so that it's embedded into your daily life. So for me, having prepared meals, going to the gym, getting eight hours of sleep, spending time with friends and family, all of those things are part of my self care that keep me at my best,” she explains.
“Then community care, leaning into social networks or social groups, or spending time with other interests or hobbies. That's a part of my community care that keeps me going, so that I can take care of my needs, but also to be able to show up best in care for others.”
Find out more about Camesha and Sista Afya Community Care at communitycare.sistaafya.com.
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