If God blesses me with the opportunity to live 70 years on this earth, I hope that I can be as fly as women like JoAni Johnson while doing so. Black women are living proof that the fountain of youth does, in fact, exist, but sometimes, our age begins to feel less like a number and more like a countdown to the grave, but according to JoAni, getting older isn't a punishment, issa gift. Since going viral in a street style fashion video 2016, the model has been booked and busy, securing a bag from brands like Calvin Klein, CDLM, and Fenty, sending a fashion world a message that this wave of age-inclusion is here to stay.
JP Yim/Getty Images
Although JoAni may seem like she has the confidence of 1,000's Beyoncés, it's both inevitable and totally human to get lost in the comment section from time-to-time. She explained that since her debut in the fashion world, she's received a number of negative comments that can often be overwhelming. She told MadameNoire:
"It is mind-boggling to me when these things come out, my biggest interest is in the comments. I gotta go through and read all the comments, like why? And the only ones that really capture my eye are the negative ones because it's natural."
Sticks and stones ain't got nothing on The Shade Room comment section, and although social media has shown JoAni a lot of love, the model says that she's also seen her share of hate.
"At first, it was hard because no one likes negativity, but, just like everything else, nothing is perfect. There is nobody on this planet that is perfect."
Ultimately, JoAni had to level up her mentality and realize that nobody's perfect, and this especially applies to trolls on the internet who try to steal your joy. Instead of giving into the societal pressures associated with ageism and sexism, and every other -ism you could probably imagine, JoAni says f*ck it:
"I'm ageless, so you can call it whatever you want to, but it doesn't apply to me. I am a person. I am a human being; that's most important to me."
Insecurities are like opinions, everybody has them; And JoAni believes that although we can get lost in the thoughts of others, we have to remember that the only image that really matters is the one we have of ourselves.
At the root of every insecurity is fear of being "too". Maybe you're too inexperienced to start a business, or think you're too old to follow your dreams, but JoAni says that ultimately, the only thing that can stop you from becoming the woman of your dreams is the ability to adapt to change:
"Fear is a mind killer, but you have to embrace your journey, and everybody's journey is different. As we grow, we change our perspectives; we adapt. Whether it's exfoliating your skin, whether it's plucking the eyebrows more, there are so many chances for you to embrace and adapt."
Although JoAni hasn't always been the luxury brand-rocking runway queen that she is today, she's wearing her crown with grace, keeping in mind that she can face any -ism that comes her way. JoAni shares that the real secret to keeping her confidence is 10 is just showing up. After losing her husband two years ago, she admits that her greatest superpower has been her ability to take a set back and keep on slaying:
"For me, confidence comes from showing up for life on a daily basis. Everything I've been through — the good, the bad and the ugly — has prepared me to know that I can handle my next challenge with confidence. Being older gives me the experience of knowing that I've overcome difficult challenges before, like the death of my husband, and that gives me the confidence to face whatever comes next."
According to JoAni, the war wounds she's acquired over the past 67 years are only beauty marks, ones that we should embrace with open arms.
"Young people should welcome new experiences — they help you build on your current abilities and hopefully add new ones. And with that, even more confidence will come."
Read JoAni's full interview with MadameNoire here!
Featured image by JP Yim/Getty Images
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
