Are we currently witnessing the end of the bootylicious trend?
As the saying goes, more money, more problems. And it appears for singer K. Michelle, a bigger booty means a bigger headache.
Recently the singer known for her infamous curves sat down with B.Scott to reveal that she is over her "heavy bottom." The very candid and honest K. Michelle has been no stranger to opening up in the past about having gone under the knife to enhance her assets, even opening up last year to the Huffington Post about having had a few nips and tucks, from her breasts to her butt:
“I'm not going to be one of those women who says "I woke up like this. I'm so perfect. No, that's not me. I got my boobs done, I had fat transferred to my butt, I sucked out the stomach. You know, just normal women things."
Well, a lot can happen in a year. While sitting down with host B.Scott, the voluptuous Michelle admitted that she is completely over her enhancements and that in fact–she just wants that old thing back!
"For me, I want my normal shape back.I have like movies and different things [I’m working on], and...I hate being typecasted because my bottom is so heavy. Not saying I don’t love myself, but…you know.
For me, and my career right now, and me doing business—like really being on the frontline in business—I don’t need to have a man looking down at my ass when I’m trying to talk numbers. I don’t need to not be able to get the role. Like, I wanna be in Jurassic Park! Let me be in Jurassic Park! I don’t need to not be able to run through Jurassic Park because my ass is too heavy. Before the dinosaurs come to eat me, I need to be able to go!"
The 31-year-old singer further went on to admit that she "can't even wear designer clothes," due to her radical hip-waist ratio making it difficult for her to be cloaked in couture. K. also added that although she always felt she had a nice shape, for one reason or another, she wanted to add more:
“I took fat and did [my butt] and hips and all that. I just wanted [surgery]. I wanted that shape. That’s the shape that I wanted. I wanted to look like that. I think the older you get you get tired of having to hop into your jeans!”
She even offered up some advice to women who are considering surgery for the time being, letting them know that they must be weary making permanent decisions based on temporary emotions. That is, unless they can afford to reverse those decisions, of course!
“I would say if you have the coins to put it in, have the coins to take it out. That’s really what I would [say]. No, really — because it might be a phase! I would tell [other girls], don’t go and do what you see people doing. But, if that’s what you want to do — if that’s the body you want — go get the body you want! Nothing is wrong with it. But, if you won’t want it anymore — you just don’t want it anymore!"
That's something you can never take away from K–she keeps it real all day! And keeping that in mind, there are few things that the singer can say that might shock us, including this.
Although it's a bit of a surprise that K. Michelle would want to bid her booty "farewell" so soon, plastic surgery trends are always that–just trends.
In the 90's, breast augmentation was the big in-thing. With pop culture boasting larger breasts (everything from popular sitcom "Baywatch" to countless Men's Interest magazines such as Playboy and SportsIllustrated), young women flocked to get a boob job quicker than they could round up their tuition money. By the early 2000's, with the rise in popularity in certain ethnic women–such as Jennifer Lopez, Tyra Banks, Beyoncé, etc.–boobs were "out" and butts and hips were in! Some stars even went as far as removing their implants, including actress and boob-queen, Pamela Anderson.
Back in 2014, Basketball Wives LA star Draya Michele took to her Twitter to express regret over her breast implants, even saying she had plans to remove them by Fall of that year.
"Saying 'bye bye' to my girls in September! I'm tired of these boobs making everything look all skanky all the time... And take it from me, this fake tidday phase is outta style. I like natural boobs like Rihanna's."
Even Kylie Jenner, who has been accused of "mimicking Black woman," admitted last month that she was over her lip fillers, saying: "You know what's weird? I've been into small lips lately. Like, I want them to look small."
So why is it that we even bother getting surgery in the first place if it's bound to get old? Well, the desire to be desirable might be one. In the same way that some men feel the need to flash their money and fancy things to grasp the attention of women, some women also feel the pressures to be worth the attention as well! Not to mention, the media plays a major role in how we view and set certain beauty standards, thus why such features, especially those that are often tied in with being afrocentric or "ethnic" (e.g.: bigger butts, hips and lips) can go from NOT to HOT real quick, depending on who is rocking it *hint, hint*
However, in the case of K. Michelle, who admitted to already having had "a big butt" growing up, if some women are not careful, we may get a little delusional with what we think we need when it comes to surgery. Comedian and actor Sinbad recently stopped by The Breakfast Club and brought up a great point about the excess in Black women competing to enhance what is often already a God-given gift:
When did Black women start getting fake butts? We (Black women) were known for butts and now we can't even compete with the "white fake butt." So now you have Black women doing damage to the face and damage to the booty. We've flipped it so far, I don't even know if we can come back. It's dumb!
I guess in short–check yourself before you wreck yourself! At least in the case of the K. Michelle's and Draya's, these enhancements were done at the hand of professionals. And although that always minimizes the risks of most physical damage, that doesn't protect you from any psychological or emotional damage you may incur later.
Have you had any plastic surgery regrets?
Why can’t (more) singles just be single and be okay with that? Good Lord. Why does there need to be some sort of relational play-on-words to make it sound like we’re with someone — even if we’re not?
Now masturdating? Even though it’s not even close to being a “real” word, it’s something that also brought a laugh outta me — although it was then followed by a genuine smile. The laugh because I almost immediately caught the play-on-words. The smile was due to the intention behind it all.
If you’re not familiar with what masturdating is and you’re curious about why you should even care, take a few moments to at least skim through what it’s about and why I think participating, as a single person, is a pretty cool (and effective) concept.
@knotlukas Masturdate: a date w oneself
What’s Masturdating All About?
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Masturdating. Okay, so let the word marinate for just a moment. What does it sound like? Yeah…exactly. And since a huge part of masturbation centers around self-pleasure, it’s cool to explore how “self-dating” could produce similar (as far as pleasure is concerned in a broader sense) results. Because masturdating is all about spending quality time with yourself, pampering yourself, treating yourself— and yes, taking yourself out on dates.
Any of you who may think that masturdating is a consolation prize — and a pitiful one at that — for not being able to go out with another human being or get that dream $200 first date that social media was all in a tizzy about last year (bookmark that) — personally, I think that you’re the demographic who needs to try out masturdating first and the most. Why? Off top, I’ll share my three good reasons.
3 Reasons To Strongly Consider Masturdating
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1. It’s an intimate way to get to know yourself better. I’ve been working with couples for a pretty long time at this point and if there’s a pattern that I see arise, OFTEN, it’s that two people are oftentimes so busy trying to “find their person” that they didn’t even know who they were. As a direct result, they found themselves in a relationship with someone who only complemented the “kiddie pool version” of who they were.
That’s why it can be so beneficial to spend time getting to know yourself on the “deep end” of things: what makes you tick, what your passions are, what you want most out of life, what are your interests beyond obvious things — and masturdating can help you to discover all of this. Whether it’s traveling alone or taking out a weekend to drink some wine and journal, the more you get to know yourself, the clearer you’ll be about who complements you on a romantic and friendship level.
2. It will definitely help to boost your confidence levels. I guess since I’m an ambivert, I don’t really get why people freak out at the mere thought of going to a restaurant or movie alone. Personally, I think it requires a helluva lot more energy and gumption to wait around and plan stuff with other people (#Elmoshrug). However, whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert, there’s no way around the fact that the more comfortable you get with doing things alone, the more your confidence levels will increase — no, soar — because of it.
One article that I read on the topic said that doing things alone can make you more creative, improve your mental health, and help you to be totally okay with being alone (so that you’re not “needy” for other people’s attention). A psychotherapist from a New York Times article on the benefits of spending time alone said, “Getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout.” And when you’re able to stare negativity in its face without flinching, how could that not make you bolder, more self-secure, and hopeful about your life?
3. It will teach you to value your time more effectively. In every facet of your world, you’re gonna operate from a healthier place if you’re operating from a “full cup” rather than an empty one. When it comes to this topic, think about it — if you’re constantly waiting on someone to call you to go out or wishing for a dream date with some guy, all you’re doing is wasting precious time that you could be spending taking a cooking class or hell, hiring a chef to make you dinner at your own home.
Indeed, waiting has two sides to it: when it’s in the form of patience, it is indeed a virtue, yet when it’s wrapped up in the notion that you’re not really living life unless you have an audience…it is totally working against you. Choose wisely.
10 Solo Date Ideas To Help You To “Master” Masturdating
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So, what if you’re someone who has either never considered actually masturdating before or you don’t really know what to do beyond dinner and the movies? Here are a few ideas to consider:
1. Attend a workshop or masterclass that you’re interested in. If there’s something that you’ve always wanted to learn, sign up for a workshop or masterclass. The cool thing about this option is there are probably some in your city, as well as some that you can find online (like here) that are convenient and affordable.
2. Binge-read at a local coffee shop. Aside from their coziness and oftentimes inviting scents, I once read that a lot of us gravitate to coffee shops because we can be around people without having to actually socialize with them. So, if you want to “hang out” while still being able to enjoy a bit of solitude, take a book that you’ve been trying to finish to a local coffee shop, order your favorite latte, and sit in a big-ass comfy chair. Usually, you can sit there for hours, and the staff will be just fine with it (another bonus).
3. Have a spa day in the next town. You can never go wrong with a spa day. And while going with a friend can be fun, sometimes there’s too much talking transpiring to be able to fully chill out and relax. So, go off of the grid, get a change of scenery, and hit up a spa in the next city (or town). There are lots of studies out here supporting that day trips or “daycations” can actually be really good for your long-term health and well-being.
4. See a community play. Some of the best solo dates that I’ve ever been on consisted of taking in some of the local arts in my city. What’s really cool about this particular option is, oftentimes, they are extremely inexpensive, if not totally free of charge (in exchange for making a donation or putting money into a tip jar).
5. Plan a trip. Whenever people say something along the lines of, “If you don’t expect anything, you won’t be disappointed,” I know that they low-key have some (additional) healing to do from past disappointments. There’s simply too much intel out here to support that anticipation (of good stuff) makes us more motivated and optimistic, keeps our dopamine levels up, and makes life more exciting overall.
Since traveling alone is more cost-effective, gives you the freedom to do whatever you want (when you want), and increases the possibility of meeting new people and having new experiences on your journey — why not devote a day this weekend to planning a solo trip? All the way around, it’s good for you.
6. Try your hand at your own “$200 date.” Uh-huh. Roll your eyes if you want to, but it’s real easy to talk left about how a man should be able to just drop $200 like it’s nothing…until you actually try to do it. So yes, while taking yourself out on this type of date could serve as a bit of a reality check, it can also “scratch the itch” of waiting on some dude to do it for you. It’s also way less emotionally draining because, at least when you’re taking your own self out, it’s guaranteed that you’ll enjoy the company…right?
7. DIY some pampering. When you get a chance, check out “5 Reasons You Should Unapologetically Pamper Yourself,” “Want To Love On Yourself? Try These 10 Things At Home.,” “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul,” and “When's The Last Time You Actually Pampered Your Vagina?” The bottom line here is pampering is all about, not mere self-maintenance; it’s all about treating yourself to levels of EXTREME SELF-INDULGENCE. So, if nothing else tickles your fancy on this list, at least consider doing that, chile.
8. Feed your creativity. Something that I used to be really good at is art. That said, one of my goddaughters is insanely talented, so she has reminded me to tap back into it. Also, a big part of what got me into the writing world is poetry; I actually used to be a house poet at a local spot. Sometimes, my best quality time moments with myself have been revisiting these creative sides of me — and this is definitely easier to do (and enjoy) alone.
9. Try some stargazing. When’s the last time you took a blanket into your backyard, laid down on it, and just stared at the stars for hours on end? While some say that stargazing can teach you to be mindful, others say that being in that form of nature reduces stress, while others believe that looking up at the universe at night can increase your attention span. All solid reasons to give it a shot, if you ask me.
10. DO. ABSOLUTELY. NOTHING. Let me tell you something that nobody will ever be able to make me feel bad about: doing absolutely nothing. I’ve got data to back me up. Good Housekeeping shares that doing nothing can help you decide how you want to respond or react to certain things. I like howThe Guardian says that taking this approach helps you to regain control of what you give your attention to.
TIME magazine says that it can ultimately make you more productive.BBC offers up that it can help you tap into your ingenuity.Henry Ford Health says that it can make you kinder and a better problem-solver. So, if you want to invest in yourself, do nothing sometimes.
Closing Thoughts from the Lovely Javicia Leslie
While some of y'all may know Javicia Leslie from being the former Batwoman, I discovered her back in the day from the indie series Chef Julian (and yes, "Julian" was right to say that "Mo" looks like Tatyana Ali...the real ones know). Sometimes I'll hop on her IG to see what she's got going on and this story popped up within a few hours of me penning this...so, I took it as hella confirmation.
TREAT YO SELF. WAIT FOR NO ONE.
WAIT FOR NO ONE. TREAT YO SELF.
RINSE AND REPEAT.
_____
Sooo…what kind of masturdating plans do you have for this coming weekend? While going out with others has its perks, hanging out with yourself has a ton of ‘em too. Enjoy!
No…for real. ENJOY!
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