
Finding your personal style seems like an easy feat, but start the journey and you’ll soon find it overwhelming with minimal initial reward. Since style is so intricately tied to the type of person you are, it evolves and changes as you do. The uncomfortable truth is, it can take years to cultivate and perfect your personal style. But that shouldn’t stop you from honing in on what you like and replicating that in your wardrobe.
It can seem like an arduous task, especially in a trend-crazed industry like fashion, but I promise it’s not. To help start your journey, I asked four wickedly talented stylists for advice and tips on finding your personal style.
Rasheena
"My journey to my personal style began in my teenage years as an act of rebellion. I experimented with opposing colors and patterns in this stage. However, my love deepened in my college years when I was able to wear clothes other than the 'required uniform.' I fell in love with aesthetics at this stage; the grunge, preppy, urban, and chic aesthetics literally stole my heart. As I developed in life, I found that my style constantly changed based on my personality and perception of life.
"If I had to describe my style right now, I would call it freedom. I freely explore all style aesthetics that excite me while staying true to my core aesthetics, or vibe as I call it; grunge, urban, chic and preppy. My style is my safe space to explore myself as a person and online shopping is my favorite destination for exploration."
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Identify three character traits you'd like to embody.
- Find three stores that complement your body type and style desires.
- Try on everything that makes you uncomfortable! (It may surprise you!)
Derria
"I would like to attribute finding my personal style to my grandma. I grew up spending summers with her and we would always go to the mall and shop until we were absolutely tired. She also is one of the most stylish people I know and she owns it. She always gets tons of compliments when she is out and about and I've always admired that about her. I basically followed in her footsteps when it comes to my personal style.
"Throughout my childhood and adulthood, my style changed so much. I went from wearing matching plastic jewelry and Jordans to vintage jewelry and graphic tees with my favorite flats; all the way up until now my style is comfy chic. I will most definitely be wearing sneakers but I wear what is comfortable to me. Maybe that's a skirt or a jumpsuit. Then I add my own twist or edge to it. I love my style!"
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Wear what you want! Don't worry about what other people think. Not your friends, family, or strangers. Wear what you feel comfortable in!
- Be open to trying new trends and/or starting your own! You never know who will be inspired by your style.
- Own it. People can definitely tell when you are uncomfortable with what you're wearing. So when you drape those clothes on your skin, make sure you OWN IT.
Malak
"I've always had a love for fashion but my true journey started when I was in college. It was a time that I became more expressive in my overall appearance and how I was feeling. I just felt so liberated! I would describe my style as being a girly tomboy. I love to wear heels and dress up but I also love a good t-shirt and sneakers. After my college experience came to an end, I began to take more risks with my style. I love to play around in color, stand out, but also be effortless and relaxed when needed.
"It's funny as I am talking about it, it truly makes sense that my personal style has continued to elevate and grow as I am growing into the woman that I am called to be. My style is only an expression of who I am today: I'm bold, unique, authentic, a risk-taker, and confident. My style will only continue to evolve as I evolve in this life. I'm fully embracing change and I am not afraid to step outside of the box."
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Be authentic, be you! God makes us one of one and you should fully embrace that there is nobody like you. Your style should reflect you and only you.
- Designer is NOT style. Fashion is trendy and style is timeless. Style is your aesthetic choices: how you pull your overall look together down to the hair and outfit of choice.
- Be a risk-taker in the way that you think about your style. I truly believe that my best work with my clients has been taking risks instead of playing it safe. When you take risks with something as simple as your outfit, you naturally become more confident.
Tiffany
"I started off wearing my sisters' hand-me-downs but knew I wanted to dress in a way that expressed specifically who I am and what I knew looked right on me. So, I began to think about my body type and the clothing pieces that complemented my frame and found stores that sold pieces that worked for me. I started experimenting and eventually found what stuck. and what best mirrored my personality! Eventually, I started studying other body types and what pieces worked for them and began my personal styling journey, helping women dress for their body types and best express themselves."
Her Top Tips for Finding Your Style:
- Hire a stylist for an expert analysis of what style best reflects your style goals.
- Ask yourself questions about how you want to present to the world, and what clothing items best make that statement.
- Explore what clothing pieces make you feel most comfortable and like yourself.
Featured image by @tiffanystyledit/Instagram
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
If there is one thing that I am going to do, it’s buy myself some scented soy candles. And, as I was looking at a display of them in a TJ Maxx store a couple of weekends ago, I found myself wondering just who decided which scents were considered to be “holiday” ones. The origin stories are actually pretty layered, so, for now, I’ll just share a few of ‘em.
I’m sure it’s pretty obvious that pine comes from the smell of fresh Christmas trees; however, scents like cloves, oranges, and cinnamon are attributed to two things: being natural ways to get well during the cold and flu season, and also being flavors that are used in many traditional holiday meals.
Meanwhile, frankincense and myrrh originate from the Middle East and Africa (you know, like the Bible does — some folks need to be reminded of that—eh hem — Trumpers) and ginger? It too helps with indigestion (which can definitely creep up at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner tables); plus, it’s a key ingredient for ginger snaps and gingerbread houses. So, as you can see, holiday-themed scents have a rhyme and reason to them.
Tying this all in together — several years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry ‘Christmas Sex’?” Well, in the spirit of revisiting some of that content, with a bit of a twist, I decided to broach some traditional holiday scents from the perspective of which ones will do your libido a ton of good from now through New Year’s Eve (check out “Make This Your Best NYE. For Sex. EVER.”).
Are you ready to check some of them out, so that, whether it’s via a candle, a diffuser, some essential oil, or some DIY body cream (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”), you can bring some extra festive ambiance into your own boudoir? Excellent.
1. Vanilla

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When it comes to holiday desserts, you’re going to be hard-pressed to find recipes that don’t include vanilla — and that alone explains why it is considered to be a traditional holiday scent. As far as your libido goes, vanilla is absolutely considered to be an aphrodisiac — partly because its sweet scent is considered to be very sensual. Some studies even reveal that vanillin (the active ingredient in vanilla) is able to increase sexual arousal and improve erectile dysfunction in men. So, if you adore the smell, here is more incentive to use it.
2. Frankincense

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Although, typically, when people think about frankincense (and myrrh), it’s in the context of the gifts that the wise men brought Christ after he was born; it’s a part of the biblical Christmas story. However, frankincense goes much deeper than that. Sexually, since it has an earthy and spicy scent, some people like to use it to meditate (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”). Also, since it has the ability to put you in a better mood, soothe and soften your skin and maintain your oral health — with the help of frankincense, every touch and kiss can be that much…sexier.
3. Cinnamon

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I already gave cinnamon a shout-out in the intro. Personally, I’ve been a fan of it, in the sex department, for a long time now (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”). When it’s in oil form, it can be very sweet to the taste while sending a warm sensation throughout the body — which is why the giver and receiver of oral sex can benefit from its usage. Beyond that, cinnamon helps to increase blood flow to your genital region, elevate sexual desire and, some studies say that it can even help improve fertility. Beautiful.
4. Peppermint

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If there’s a signature candy for the holiday season, it’s probably a candy cane — which automatically puts peppermint in the running for being an official holiday scent. Pretty much, in any form, it’s got your sex life’s back because it’s hailed as being a sexual stimulant; in part, because its smell is so invigorating. Plus, it helps to (eh hem) ease headaches, it gives you more energy and it can definitely help to freshen your breath. Also, that minty sensation? The same thing that I said about cinnamon can apply to peppermint too (if you catch my drift).
5. Ginger

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Whether it’s in a meal or in your bedroom, ginger is going to produce results that are hella spicy. On the sex tip, science has praised ginger for being able to increase sexual arousal, improve blood circulation (which intensifies orgasms) and strengthen fertility for many years. Scent-wise, I find it to be one that both men and women enjoy because it is both woodsy and sweet. So, if you’ve got some massage oil in mind, adding some ginger is a way to please you both.
6. Pomegranate

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September through December is the time of year when pomegranates are considered to be in season. And, as someone who is a Rosh Hashanah observer, I have a personal adoration for them because I am aware of the various things that they symbolize in Hebrew culture including the fact that they are a fruit that represents love and fertility. So yeah, they would absolutely be an aphrodisiac — one that is perfect for this time of the year. While consuming it helps to boost testosterone levels in both men and women, the floral bittersweet smell that it produces can help to reduce stress while promoting relaxation (like most floral scents do) — and the more relaxed you are, the easier it is to climax.
7. Nutmeg

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Another signature seasoning during the holiday season is nutmeg. It’s perfect in Thanksgiving sweet potato (or pumpkin) pie and Christmas morning French toast. And yes, it can also make your sex life better. If you consume it, it can intensify your libido and, overall, its warm-meets-spicy-meets-sweet smell is so inviting that it is considered to be a pretty seductive scent.
8. Cloves

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I ain’t got not one lie to tell you — if you’ve got a toothache, put some clove oil on that bad boy and send me a Christmas present for putting you on game. Aside from that, as I round all of this out, cloves are another holiday scent that can do wonders for your sex life. For men, it has the ability to significantly increase sexual arousal and improve stamina and endurance. For men and women alike, it also has a reputation for strengthening sexual desire. And for women solely? Well, if you want an all-natural way to increase natural lubrication down below — the scent and and feel (in DILUTED oil form) can make that happen. It can make the holidays especially special…if you know what I mean.
Ah yes — the atmosphere of the holidays and what it can do.
Take it all in! Scent ‘n whatever stimulating that comes with it! #wink
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