#AskDV: How Do I Get Over An Ex?
Dear Can't Leave Him Alone:
Okay, you have had your "to the left moment." You've cried your eyes out, used every tissue in the box, and listened to every Keyshia Cole and Mary J. Blige break-up song you could find on Tidal. You've burned all the memoirs he left in your house, at work, and in your car. As far as social media is concerned, you've deleted every post that even mentioned his name and now, you're ready to finally get up and move the hell on.
After all the months of heartache and turmoil, you are finally ready to take back control over your life. It's time to show the world you are not a product of your situation.
While going through this breakup, it is important to understand the typical behavioral patterns of men when it comes to love so that you can brace yourself for what may come. Most men are incapable of being alone so the minute your relationship ends, he either already has another chick on the side or he will quickly find someone to replace you with.
Learn how to be okay with that.
That doesn't mean that he did not care about you, but in order for him to protect his feelings and maintain his machismo, you will be quickly replaced. Do not allow this to upset you and just start preparing for your own Classy Clapback by doing the following:
Clear the cloud
Immediately delete all of his contact information from all devices and block him on all social media platforms so that you cannot tempt yourself to see how he's doing.
Break up with everybody
Kiss his momma, sister, cousins, and best friend goodbye as well. I know that might sound harsh but you need to do whatever you need to do in order to protect your own emotional well-being. Trust me…he will do the same.
Work it out
If you've slaked off, get back in the gym because it will help you to release the endorphins associated with a broken heart and you will be inspired to look your best.
Reconnect
Reconnect with the girlfriends you put on the back burner once you fell in love. It happens and good girlfriends are always there when you come back.
Back like you never left
Start dating again as quickly as possible. It's not about how you feel but it's more so about getting back into the dating game. You do not have to even be that interested in the guy, but start dating before you let your sadness turn into depression over your last breakup.
The first one who calls or texts loses
Under no circumstances do you contact him or do things to make him notice you in any way. Get back to living your best life and I promise he will notice you…the streets are always watching.
xo,
Your Favorite Valentine
Featured image by Shutterstock
- Getting over the Ex: 12 Basic Tips | eharmony Advice ›
- How to Get Over YOUR EX - YouTube ›
- 17 Things I Wish I'd Known About Getting Over an Ex When I Was ›
- 5 Psychologists Reveal How To Get Over Your Ex In 30 Days Or Less ›
- How to Get Over an Ex - New Ways to Get Over a Breakup ›
- How To Finally Get Over Your Ex (Even If It Feels Impossible) ›
- How to Get Over Your Ex: 14 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow ›
- Tips For Getting Over Your Ex - AskMen ›
- 5 reasons why you still can't get over your ex - National | Globalnews ... ›
- 7 Science-Backed Ways To Get Over An Ex | HuffPost ›
Diann Valentine is a Love & Relationship Expert, Television Personality, Creative Innovator, Intrepid Traveler, and the host of Bravo TV's To Rome For Love. Follow her across all social media platforms @diannvalentine and check out her latest book 'Going The Distance For Love' available now!
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Rihanna Talks Shedding Expectations And Finding Balance As A Mother
Since becoming a mother in 2022, Rihanna has defined parenthood by her terms and hopes to pass that sense of autonomy on to her children.
For Vogue China’s April cover story, Rihanna shared her perspective on raising her two sons with A$AP Rocky, and how she hopes to preserve her children’s uniqueness, devoid of societal expectations.
"The most beautiful thing...is that [children] come into the world with their own individuality and sincerity, without any logic or conformity,” she told the publication. “Which usually makes you feel that you must fit into a certain group."
The “Work” artist, known for her trendsetting style and captivating persona, expressed her desire to support children in fully embracing their individuality and encouraging them to be whoever they want to be. "It's really beautiful to see and I want to continue to help them navigate that and make sure that they know they can be whoever they want to be,” she says.
She continues, “They should embrace it completely, because it's beautiful, and it's unique. I love them just that way."
From shattering music charts to shaking up the beauty industry, Rihanna has forged a path that has since created the “dream” life we see today. One that she says has made her parents proud of.
“I’m living my dream,” she continued. “My parents were very proud of that because they just wanted me to be happy and successful. So, I think the key thing is to find some kind of balance. Yes, balance is important. Do this and you get the best of both worlds. You can write your own life the way you want, and it will be beautiful. Sometimes, you just need to let go of everyone’s expectations and start living your own story.”
Rihanna, who shares sons, RZA, 23 months, and Riot, 8 months, with rapper A$AP Rocky, recently shared her vision for expanding her family in the future in Interview Magazine.
When stylist Mel Ottenberg asked about the number of additional children she hoped to have, Rihanna replied, "As many as God wants me to have.”
"I don't know what God wants, but I would go for more than two. I would try for my girl,” she adds. “But of course, if it's another boy, it's another boy."
Featured image by Neil MockfordWireImage