
Exclusive: Gail Bean Talks Career, New Move, And Friendship With Malcolm Mays

When I was a child, one of my favorite pastimes was theater. There was something so fulfilling about being on stage and connecting with the talented individuals breathing life into characters and stories. So naturally, I entered college as a theater major, hopeful of creating more of these moments; I ended up switching later on. However, the love for the craft never left, and my respect for actors only grew. And every now and then, I watch a movie or television show, come across a new actor, and think to myself, ‘Ooh, you can tell they’re for real about this.’ This background brings me to the present and our conversation with NAACP award-winning actress Gail Bean.
I was first introduced to her during the FX series Snowfall, where she played the flawed yet beloved character Wanda. Since that time, she’s been in other culture favorites like Atlanta, Insecure, P-Valley, and more. And now she’s gearing up for a new one: Amazon’s Harlem, which is personally one of my favorite shows to watch and discuss with girlfriends..because whew, the relatable dating stories. Anyway, during this chat, we spoke about her acting journey, what we can expect from her character in Harlem, and her viral friendship with the talented and handsome actor Malcolm Mays.
Gail Bean
Photo by Detavio Samuels
Like many performers, Gail’s road into the entertainment industry wasn’t a clear one. Although she’s acted for years, she originally planned on being a lawyer. “I was going to be the female Johnny Cockran,” she says with a smile. But after finding more of a connection with acting, she made the bold decision to change her plan. The unique journey only makes her appreciate where she is currently even more. By the way, I’m saying ‘where she is’ literally and figuratively since she recently moved to New York, a dream she’s had for years.
“I think I was always supposed to be here. When I first moved to LA, I wanted to be in New York. I trained out of Susan Batson Studio, and we used to go every other month. But when I moved from Georgia, it was out of my budget. Steven Speilberg even flew me to New York once and asked me why I was living there” (slight flex).
She continues, “I officially moved in October, but I was gone for the holidays and traveling for months. I came back in February, and all the blessings started to flow. I booked Harlem, P-Valley returned, and another project I auditioned for circled back. And I know what they say about New York, but I think the people are genuine and kind for the sake of humanity.”
Living in New York is also the perfect backdrop for filming Harlem. She shared a bit of what we can expect from her character, saying, “She’s really different from me and anyone I’ve ever played. I’m soft. She’s a business venture capitalist. And she has a love interest on the show. People are really going to see themselves in my character; she blurs a lot of lines between business and pleasure.”
Gail Bean and Malcolm Mays
Photo by Giles Williams
When she said that, I couldn’t help but jump into her friendship with Malcolm Mays. I mean, she walked into it, right? And have you seen the videos? They look great together - almost like more than friends. So I just blatantly asked, ‘I mean, how do you feel about all of us being so captivated by your relationship with fellow actor Malcolm Mays?” Shocked, she laughs and says, “It’s nice to have someone in the industry. We go to the movies, watch indie films, work on projects, and talk about real life. It’s great having someone you can play tennis with about everything. There’s times when I want to post pictures, but I already know people are gonna say we're in a relationship. At no point have we said we’re together. But he knows I love him down, and he loves me. That’s going to be my best friend until the end of eternity.”
Her openness made me reflect on friendships and relationships. There have been many conversations around this topic: do friendships change when people get into serious relationships? Can having an attractive best friend affect your dating life, and what about intimidation? Can men and women really be friends? But Gail isn’t worried about these convos at all. “Whoever my dating life consists of, they need to know I wouldn't cheat on my mate. I’m a loyal person. All of the friendships in my life are never a threat to the significant other in my life.”
She went on to explain how his kindness and connection to the industry feel like a safe place for her. Also, his masculine perspective provides a different way of looking at things, which helps her in various ways. “Malcolm is very well-rounded, and he’s like a man’s man. He tells me the truth. But also, he talks to me about my career and myself as a woman," she explains. "I remember sitting in his car crying about the industry; at the time, I kept getting callbacks but never booking the roles. I was sick of people “liking” me; I wanted them to book me. He said, ‘Gail you're a talent, and your time is going to come. This time next year you’re going to book a show,’ and I did."
Gail Bean
Photo by Giles Williams
She continues, “As women, we naturally pour into others like that, but you don’t always get that from men. Because they don’t typically get that. So it’s nice to have a man there like that. There’s one other time where I cried about my career, and it was actually to my brother.”
Hearing that background gave the videos from the 55th NAACP Image Awards of him admiringly gazing at her more context. They manifested that moment. And we all know there’s nothing like praying and affirming something, then watching it come to life. Gail won a NAACP Image award for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series for Snowfall. “That moment at the NAACP (Image) Awards was so euphoric, unbelievable, Godly, and rich. I really felt like I could die tomorrow, and I’d be okay. I didn’t know what else to say but thank you, God..”
She continues, “John (Singleton) has always been in my corner, and I feel like he had a hand in it. I was truly grateful that people watched it and voted. It was for all of Snowfall - from cast, writers, people who put together lights and everything - I felt like all of us won. I was grateful it was my first award from such a powerful show and network.”
Gail came from the theater. She always enjoyed acting but didn’t really take it as seriously until somewhat recently. In fact, she compared it to dating, “You know how you’re just hanging out and one day then something happens and it’s like okay, I need to know where this is going? That’s how acting was. One day, I just decided to take it seriously.” I think it’s safe to say, they go together - real bad.
But seriously, I think her journey is a reminder that when you trust yourself and your path, God will bless you. Oh, and she did close the interview with a little nugget. She and Malcolm Mays plan on creating a romcom together; that way, we can all get in our feels, even if they’re really just friends.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Nailah Howze
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by
Women Are (Still) Spelling 'Coconut' With Their Hips. And Guys Are Losing Their Damn Minds.
While prepping for a podcast interview a while back, because I received the questions beforehand, I did a bit of research into one of the inquiries: what are men’s current favorite sex positions? I doubt any of you are shocked by the fact that what continued to pop up (like here, here, and here) was doggy style and the cowgirl position (i.e., when a woman is on top).
When it comes to ridin’, specifically, that got me to thinking about something that was all over the internet a few years ago: women who were advising that you spell “coconut” with your hips, during sex, in order for you and your partner to receive maximum pleasure and satisfaction.
When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
From grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
A part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Giphy