When it comes to Black pride, it's something we wear loudly and proudly on our hearts and our on our sleeves. Self-expression is one of the many ways we celebrate and unapologetically uplift who we are as people. From popular sayings to mantras, we have an array of elements that remind us of how creative, how dope, and how multifaceted we are as a people, and dope ass apparel is a way for what we wear to speak for us. Style is an extension of self-expression, so quite literally some black-owned apparel and accessory companies aid in that freedom of owning the fullness of ourselves as well as our love affair with our people.
Since the 2020 Revolution started, everyone has been doing their research about how to support the culture. xoNecole has always been in the business of highlighting black women-owned businesses, so the new trend of supporting black businesses is actually our mission. Keeping that same energy, we rounded up some women making waves in the apparel realm.
Raven Nichole of Legendary Rootz
Photo Courtesy of Raven Nichole
"I was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. I founded Legendary Rootz while attending Arizona State University and earning my Bachelor of Science degree in Biochemistry. I love all things creative and I was inspired to create Legendary Rootz because I needed a safe space to just be myself. My ultimate goal is to inspire Black girls worldwide that they can accomplish anything they put their hearts to. I want the world to know that this brand is more than just a business. It represents the messages and encouragement that's been poured into me that I hope every Black girl and Black woman internalize. My passion for reclaiming our history and celebrating black culture pushes me to strive for that vision."
On The Why Behind Legendary Rootz:
"Whenever I looked around, whether that be on TV or in magazines, I didn't see anyone who looked like me. There wasn't a space where I could vent about things that were important to me such as my natural hair or even the microaggressions I faced in daily life. To be honest, when I started, I did not have the vision of starting a business. I just knew that I wanted a safe space where I could be my authentic self and express my blackness comfortably.
"I remember going to visit a local college in one of the smaller cities in Phoenix. While there, a student came up to me and told me how much she loved the brand. She went on to tell me how her little sister was being bullied at school about her hair and skin tone. After she found out about it, she grabbed a few Legendary Rootz items for her and she said how much that helped her. Knowing that my art could be of help is all I needed to keep creating and pouring into this brand."
Nareasha Willis of AVNU
Photo Courtesy of Nareasha Willis
"I am a fashion designer from Jersey City, NJ. I'm a firm believer to always create what you want to be a part of. I'm inspired daily by my ancestors. AVNU targets the modern-day fashion activist who loves fashion and acknowledges the importance of its role in our society. AVNU is unafraid to disrupt the fashion industry by setting its own trends. Featuring an array of controversial statements, colors, and textures, AVNU boldly creates a voice for garments, and the individuals wearing them."
On The Why Behind AVNU:
"I used to feel like I didn't have a place in the fashion industry. I always felt like an outsider in the industry that I loved the most. I was dismissed and told 'no' so many times that I finally created my own lane to pursue whatever avenues I had in mind in celebration of my Blackness. Initially, Avenue N was a fashion blog that highlighted Black designers. It later birthed my own fashion line, AVNU."
Holly Draper of DRAPED
Photo Courtesy of Holly Draper
"Draped is a handmade headwrap and clothing boutique dedicated to helping the outspoken modern woman outwardly express her innermost authentic self through our bold fashion power pieces. I founded Draped in 2016 after losing my job as a drug and alcohol counselor. Sewing was already a hobby of mine and in my huge amount of spare time, I started creating and designing my own clothes and accessories. We pride ourselves at Draped in handcrafting many of our pieces with daring prints and vibrant colors. Many of our prints are sourced from West Africa. We also are proud of our original tee line which boasts bold female empowerment statements."
On The Why Behind Draped:
"Here at Draped, we support and source many of our unique jewelry pieces from local female jewelry artisans. We truly believe in sisterhood, supporting small businesses, and straight-up celebrating girl-power! Draped's goal is to inspire and create more contagiously confident women inside and out. I started Draped to create a space for women (especially women of color), to boldly express who they are. I want to help the modern woman outwardly express their inner-most authentic self. I want the world to know that Draped's goal is to inspire more women to be contagiously confident. Our motto is 'Rock it. Own it. Spread your colors'. And I hope that more woman take the time to embrace who they truly are."
Kalilah Wright of Mess In a Bottle
Photo Courtesy of Kalilah Wright
"I'm a Jamaican native, born and raised in Brooklyn, but have made Baltimore my home. The quintessential creative, my mind is always going thinking of new MESSages, business ideas and ways to continue our growth. If you know me or follow me on social media, you'll see that I'm never shying away from the ups, downs and sideways of not just business but life in general. I do all of this while also being a mom to my son Kaiden."
On The Why Behind Mess in a Bottle:
"I started Mess in a Bottle as a way to be vocal about my feelings, injustices and life in general without having to say a word at all. As the company grew, I realized so many other people agreed with me and I've been able to continue to create MESSages that resonate deeply with others.
"I want the world to know that we all have a MESSage and we're here to help everyone share them. Everyone may not be as vocal but it is important to give a voice to the voiceless, to stand in solidarity and be the catalyst for important conversations. No matter how you feel about a particular subject matter, sharing your MESSage allows others to think past their own experiences or beliefs."
Featured image by @shopavnu/Instagram
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VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Extensive research has been done on the state of the modern wedding, and the financial findings alone are enough to cause strain. According to research from The Wedding Report, U.S. wedding costs rose by 3% in 2023 to over $30,000, which is nearly half the country’s average salary. In a study of almost 10,000 couples conducted by The Knot, wedding costs in large cities like New York and Los Angeles peaked at $63,000 and $48,000, respectively.
“I feel like they're taking advantage of a happy moment,” another bride admits. “We hire photographers on the daily, we hire videographers on the daily. We know what a normal day rate is. But just because you put the term 'wedding' on it, the prices are doubled.”
The Knot’s study also includes stats that put interpersonal stress into perspective. With the average wedding including 115 guests, most couples also had at least eight bridesmaids and groomsmen. The study also confirmed that 75% of couples’ foremost concern was whether or not their “guests are well taken care of and have a good time.” All of this can put inordinate pressure on relationships—so much so that couples seek therapy.
“I don't think people really talk about things like, ‘Hey, perhaps you should be in therapy while you're doing this,’” yet another bride confesses. “Of course, some people are in premarital therapy, but I had to be in individual therapy right around the time of the wedding planning as well because it was just a burnout situation.”
In an effort to share more authentic stories about the wedding planning process, we asked four brides to anonymously share their experiences. From destination weddings to a pandemic micro wedding, here is the real tea on just how much a wedding can affect one’s mental health.
raisazwart/ Getty Images
BRIDE #1
There’s a lie that they tell you, that destination weddings are cheaper—they're not. The amount of money that was due upfront for things was definitely a stressor. Even with my fiancé and I collectively grossing over $200,000, I knew I was going to have to get a second job if I wanted things the way that I wanted them.
For my bachelorette, I was met with a lot of resistance from my bridesmaids out the gate. There were just too many opinions for me; it got to the point where I was so fed up with my bridal party that I had other friends outside of my wedding party helping me with things. There were even bridesmaids who were actually cool with each other at first, and now don't deal with each other at all. I also just look at certain friendships differently now.
Then there’s just way too much pressure on brides to look perfect—to be skinny, to have flawless skin, to have the whitest teeth, to have the best hair. I really feel like that was a stressor. I was trying to stay consistent in the gym; I was doing it as much as possible. I spent so much money on skincare, new body scrubs, lotions, and oils, trying to make sure that I was perfect. I also made sure I got my teeth whitened every three months. It got to the point where I was dreading getting my dress fitted because I wasn't the weight or the shape that I felt like I needed to be in order to be ‘perfect.’
"Then there’s just way too much pressure on brides to look perfect—to be skinny, to have flawless skin, to have the whitest teeth, to have the best hair. I really feel like that was a stressor."
My partner and I were in couples counseling at the same time that we were wedding planning. And I think, for the most part, he was involved as much as he was going to be. But then, he lost his mom, and the entire weight of the wedding fell on me. A couple of months before the wedding, I had a breakdown. It was too much to carry. I definitely took on this superwoman armor, and it stressed me the fuck out.
Days before we left, we had our last counseling session. My fiancé and I had a really, really long conversation about what we weren't going to allow to ruin the weekend for us. I just let it go—all the shit that upset me, all the things that pissed me off, even the things that were happening while I was there, I let it go.
A destination wedding was one of the things that we agreed on long ago. We knew that we always wanted to do that. And honestly, we had a fucking blast. For the entire process to be as hellish as it was, the weekend was great. Thank God.
BRIDE #2
Planning a wedding—especially one during the pandemic—was so stressful. My wedding was supposed to be in May 2020, and I canceled the wedding because of the pandemic. But then August 2020 rolled around, and I was like, ‘You know what? Let's just do something small.’ So, I planned my micro wedding in two weeks.
Initially, I had about 250 people that were invited to the wedding. So scaling down to just 30 people was honestly the hardest thing, and I actually lost friends because of it. Honestly, it shocked me, the entitlement that people had, and it just made me look at them differently. I was like, ‘You know what? I'm actually grateful that this happened because maybe I don't need you in my life.’
But to be honest, I think that the pandemic helped me out. With my original wedding plan, I was adding so many things onto the bill because I wanted it to look good for social media, so much so that I was racking up almost $100,000 for my bill. I had to keep reminding myself that it was one day, and spending that much money on a one-day event was actually ridiculous. I only spent $10,000 on my micro wedding, and I feel like that's pretty good. I learned throughout the process that I was being charged more for having a wedding. So, I rented out a Peerspace and I told her it was just a nice dinner for friends and family, that we were already married and were just celebrating. She had no clue that I was walking down the aisle on her rooftop.
As a social media influencer, I knew that tons of photos would be taken, and I would have to post them. I had a crossbite on my two front teeth, and I was so stressed out about how I would look in photos. So, I got Invisalign before the wedding. I also found a hair stylist quickly for my microwedding and she did my wig—but she did such a bad job. I was like, ‘Oh my God, this is so embarrassing. People are gonna see me in my photos on my wedding day with this horrible, horrendous wig.’ I had to pluck it so much more. When I got the photos from the photographer, I told him that he could not post them until I edited them.
If I could give advice to other brides, I would say make sure you do it for you and your partner, nobody else. In the beginning, there were too many people in my ear. Once I started to realize that it was mine and my fiancé’s big day, and it was just us who mattered, that's what shifted everything for me. So don't lean into the pressures of pleasing other people and social media, just do what you think is right and what you truly, truly want.
Serhii Sobolevskyi/ Getty Images
BRIDE #3
The day you get engaged, there’s the attention and the immediate questions: ‘Do you have a date in mind?’ ‘Where are you gonna do it?’ And it was like, ‘I literally just got engaged, can I have one day?’ I got engaged on New Year's Eve and I didn't announce it until April—and that's because I was pressured.
I also didn't want a wedding. I didn't plan my wedding; my mom and family did that because that's what they wanted. So the venue, the flowers, the cake, they did all that because I didn't care. Back when things were going my way, I said I just wanted to do something small in a garden. The only thing I cared about was my dress because I knew my dress was going to be the main thing that was photographed. I always wanted a pink dress; I knew when I chose pink that it was going to be like, ‘Hmm, that's interesting.’
Matopeda Bride was making my dress in Nigeria. Do you understand how stressful it is doing something with somebody that lives in Nigeria? We had to find that sweet spot of time to talk because everything was done over WhatsApp. I didn't get my dress until the week before my wedding, and when I got the dress, it didn't fit. We were panicking a little bit, so much so that I forgot to buy wedding shoes. But when it all came together, that was probably what I was most proud of, because everybody said no to that pink dress and I was like ‘I don't care.’
I also had a zillion workarounds because I was not playing with these people taking advantage of brides. They rip brides off so bad. It's unfair because if you go to a makeup artist and just say you want soft glam, that's $80. But for a wedding? I was being quoted around $1,500 to $2,000 for that same $80 face. So I brought my homegirl, and she did my makeup for free. Wedding cakes were priced around the same, like $1,000 to $1,500. I ordered a white cake from Publix, it might have been like 100 bucks. My mom is a florist, so she put the flowers on the cake and then we ended up doing a cupcake tower around the side.
"They rip brides off so bad. It's unfair because if you go to a makeup artist and just say you want soft glam, that's $80. But for a wedding? I was being quoted around $1,500 to $2,000 for that same $80 face."
I also had no idea—and I'm grateful that they did not tell me—that there was tension between my bridesmaids. Once the wedding was over, I saw the text thread, and it really put a lot of things in perspective for me, because I saw who was willing, who was not responsive, and who wouldn't do things they were supposed to do. Initially, with the garden wedding, it was just going to be me and my fiancé. I didn't want a bridal party.
On the day of, I was so tired of being at a wedding that I left my reception, and I went to the back to talk to a friend. I was like, ‘This is too much.’ I really don't believe half the brides that have these big, obnoxious weddings even want to be there! I've been seeing a lot of content with brides saying, ‘Okay, this is too much. I'm gonna go somewhere and decompress.’
A bride should make sure that she is centered and has a full awareness of who she is and what she would like, and stand firm in that. Just be authentic, be you, and I think you'll be able to deal with it all a little bit better. Every time I hear that somebody bent just a little bit to accommodate people, there were always regrets.
BRIDE #4
I knew I wanted to have a destination wedding before I even had a boyfriend. I've been to destination weddings, and I had so much fun. But mine was a battle with me and my mom, because she was like, ‘Oh, your grandmothers won't be able to come and certain family members won't be able to fly.’ And I was okay with that. I was just like, ‘Well, in this instance it's about me and what I want.’
We had two ceremonies: an American one and a Nigerian one. How we saved money with two weddings was that for the Nigerian one, we didn't feed people. We were like, ‘We're not paying for two receptions.’ Normally, when you go to a traditional Nigerian wedding, they feed people at both, and it gets really, really expensive. But we did it at an all-inclusive resort, so we were like, ‘We'll do the ceremony, and then y'all can go on the resort and go get some food.’
I'm not Nigerian, my husband is, so I let his family handle all that. I ended up having to step in and be the middle man between our wedding party and his family because they wanted us to wear a certain fabric. We got all the fabric from Nigeria, so we had to get everyone's measurements and all that tedious stuff. That's what was complicated. We had to wear the geles, the headwraps, and we didn't know how to tie the geles. So I had to figure out how to get the geles pre-made for the girls because I wanted to do that. That was a big thing for me because this was my only time to have a cultural wedding.
With relationships, it's like people don't know how to not make it about themselves. People also weren't realizing that when they kept asking me for stuff, they were making my life harder. I'm in the middle of planning a wedding, and you're asking me for answers that I've already sent, which is just inconsiderate at the end of the day. I think that's the most frustrating part, and that's why you lose friends, because people wait until the last minute to do things, and they make it harder on you.
People were coming up to me like, ‘Are you having something borrowed? Something blue?’ No. Why am I stressing myself out over that? Because that's a tradition? We need to normalize people being different. Historically, if you're different, you're outcasted, but if that's what I want, I want what I want. I didn't want a garter. I didn't want to do a garter toss. I didn't do the bouquet thing or none of that. When it came to the reception outfit, people were like, ‘Why aren't you getting a dress?’ I didn't want a dress; I wore a white suit. I wore a white suit with a sexy lingerie bodysuit underneath because that's me. With some Jordans, because I'm a sneaker person.
Managing my mental health was about creating boundaries. I think I did a great job of creating boundaries throughout the whole process—I was very stern on what I wanted and what I didn't want.
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Featured image by Adriana Duduleanu/Getty Images
