How I Paid Off $7,000 Worth Of Debt In 5 Months
Saving money has always been a hard thing for me, mostly because I can never tell myself "no" when it comes to buying things. If you're anything like me, you'll keep treating yourself until you wake up one day with $7,000 worth of debt on your credit card.
It was all good until I found that all my expenses — some wants, some needs — had amassed close to $7,000. The first thing I felt was shock, then confusion, and then shock again. However, within five months I was able to pay the entire debt off, and here are a few tips I would give to anyone who finds themselves in a bit of financial stress.
Note: I am NOT a financial expert, but these are just the things I learned on my own individual path.
Get To The Root of The Problem
You can't actually fix a problem until you tackle the root of it.
I had to have a serious, big girl sit down with myself and ask why I felt the need to always buy this, or that, or whatever. After some soul searching, I realized it all stemmed from my childhood: I didn't grow up poor, but I came from a single-parent household where my mom couldn't give me everything I wanted. So as an adult, I treated myself to whatever I wanted because I felt I deserved it.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you have to deny and deprive yourself. In fact, I think people who use that approach on their road to financial freedom cause more pain than good. What I AM saying is that you have to address your spending habits and confront your issues head on.
Put A Monthly Plan In Place
Your first inclination may be to put as much towards the bill as you can, even if that means dipping into your savings account. Don't do that, because you never know when a rainy day may pop up. What I did was take my monthly pay after taxes, and then do a percentage breakdown of pay:
- 50% went towards expenses such as bills, rent, Metrocard, etc.
- 30% went to the credit card.
- 20% went toward my savings and also a few dollars for me to do things I wanted to do.
Was this plan hard? Definitely. At least $1,000 was heading out of my pocket each month. But I knew if I stayed diligent and kept myself on a plan, it could work.
Related: The 411 on the 50-30-20 Rule
Keep Up With Minimum Payments
No matter what, make sure you take care of your minimum payment each month. Not paying the minimum will give you strikes against your credit score, and that's the opposite of what we want!
Time Is Money
To expedite the process of paying off the debt, I realized that I would need some extra revenue coming in. If you're in a bit of a financial bind, try making some money on the side that can help you out when times are tough!
If you love to write, freelance for a few of your favorite media outlets. If you love children, maybe babysit or tutor on the weekends. Whatever you do, make sure that it's something that isn't too out of your normal scope of life, meaning it won't drain you to the point of no return.
Since I was determined to pay this balance off, ALL of my freelance money went towards this credit card. Yes, it was painful seeing those direct deposits go straight towards the card, but determination is KEY.
Related: 6 Side Hustles You Can Employ While You're Unemployed
Look For Bank Accounts That Offer Cash Back
This route not only kept my balance low, since I still had to use my card for day-to-day necessities, but it also gave me money to use for the balance!
Some banks, like Capital One, give you a small percentage back on every purchase you make with your card. While it's literally only a few dollars per purchase, every penny counts! Once I would hit a hundred or more dollars, I'd transfer it over to the account. Hey, you might as well save money while you spend money.
Stay Away From Your Triggers
GiphyDoing everything I listed above for five months eventually put me back into a position where I could fully function with peace of mind.
However, if things get sticky, do what you have to do. Nowadays, you can use an app to lock your credit card, and if you need to, nobody is judging you boo. Take autosave off of frequent websites you may search through and go through old bank statements to set up parameters for things you do a lot of (for instance, I loved going out to eat). Once you get yourself back up on your feet, don't get yourself back in the situation by returning to your old ways.
Remember, moderation is very important on your road to financial freedom.
Featured image by Katie Harp on Unsplash
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How To Tell If You're Disciplining Your Child Or Seeking Revenge
When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images