My Disability Doesn’t Define Me: Issa Rae’s Executive Assistant Candis Welch On Thriving In The Workplace
For 32-year-old Candis Welch – excuses are not an option.
At just 18 months' old, Candis was diagnosed with Spinal Muscular Atrophy – a rare neuromuscular disease that deteriorates muscular strength over time. The condition eventually left her permanently wheelchair bound by the age of 11.
Despite the early predictions on her life, Candis became a first generation college graduate with a Master's Degree in Public Administration, founded the blog Can Can on Wheelz where she chronicles daily life from her perspective, works full-time for the Los Angeles Homeless Service Authority, and has been Issa Rae's executive assistant for five years – all from her wheelchair.
How does she do it all?
I recently chatted with Candis about her career journey and how she's been able to persevere and prove people's stereotypes about differently-abled persons wrong. "For a long time I had a fear of not seeing myself go past the age of 25. A lot of my friends I met who had a similar disability had already passed away. I feared I wouldn't be able to see a certain part of my life or do certain things. I didn't see them happening for other people that looked like me. My big fear was 'Am I going to experience life?'"
Candis Welch
De Dee Verdin
Navigating the workforce was also a challenge for Candis. "I had to work hard to prove myself. In general, as a Black woman… as a Black disabled woman... as a Black disabled woman who is not a size two, I had a lot of proving to do especially in the entertainment industry. I didn't look the part. I had to let my work ethic and hustle speak for itself. Anyone who I've ever worked for, they all had a general consensus, I work my butt off. I stay late just like anyone else. I get to the job by any means necessary. I am going to be one of your most valued employees. I want to show you that I am capable."
One of the major milestones along this path has been her work with the Hollywood creative Issa Rae – a position she received after a friend who knew she was unemployed at the time recommended that she interview for the open assistant job. Candis credits Issa Rae as being the first person in the entertainment industry who did not judge her or deem her incapable of doing the job. Instead, Issa valued her education, ability to articulate her thoughts, and ability to perform well on the job.
Though she had a lot of learning to do in the beginning and "made mistakes" along the way, Candis shared three of the biggest lessons she's learned over the past few years being a pivotal member of her operations team. These lessons transcend beyond the workplace and have been key pillars in Candis' approach to life and success.
1. Always be nice.
"A lot of people in the industry get a high horse, thinking you have to be rude to people and demanding. You don't have to do none of that." Candis credits Issa's camp as always remaining nice and professional, "You get more with honey than with oil or vinegar."
When working in the industry and building your dreams, you'll meet all sorts of personalities, but remaining nice will go a long way.
2. If you don’t like what you’re seeing, create it.
Issa Rae is known for her original projects, such as Awkward Black Girl, that stemmed from a lack of storytelling that represented her truth.
Likewise, Candis started her blog to tell her story and help others in her position "see the light." There was no representation when she was growing up, so she wanted to be that representation. Her blog chronicles her day-to-day life experiences, sheds light on other disabled persons thriving, details her self-care routines, and more.
The very act of creating will also bring you closer to your purpose, strengthen you, and inspire your community along the way. "Finding my purpose and my calling to tell my story has calmed my soul. I was so frantic [questioning] what am I on this earth for. When I found my purpose, I said, 'I get it God...this is why you had me go through all those crazy times because [I] had to help someone else live through it.'"
Candis Welch
De Dee Verdin
3. If you want to see your work flourish, you have to put in the work.
"You can't try to be at all the parties, it's not going to happen. I saw [Issa passing on social events] for years, but that's how you get Insecure and all these other projects. She's locked in. Nothing else happens unless you're dedicated. She taught me a tremendous work ethic."
As you're building your dream, it will be necessary to ask yourself: Am I making excuses or am I making it happen?
Candis' dedication to her goals are in full throttle. Candis is currently focusing on building the CanCanonWheelz platform and growing it to encompass speaking, panel discussions, brand partnerships, and advocacy opportunities for people with disabilities across all platforms, such as employment and travel. She also wants to create a social network for the disabled and address issues such as dating and living independently. Ultimately, Candis' end goal is to start a nonprofit that caters to disabled adults.
"You are going to fall. You are going to break. This process as living and thriving as a disabled person is difficult."
However, according to Candis – when you're a "hustler by default", there's no way to go but up.
To learn more about Candis' journey, listen to her story on episode 179 of the Dreams In Drive podcast.
Featured Image via De Dee Verdin.
Rana Campbell is a Princeton University graduate, storyteller, content marketing strategist, and the founder and host of Dreams In Drive - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to take your dreams from PARK to DRIVE. She loves teaching others how to use their life stories to inspire action within oneself and others. Connect with her on Instagram @rainshineluv or @dreamsindrive.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images