Karrueche Tran Says Her Insecurities Made Her Consider Breast Implants
As little girls, we use mainstream media as a model for our own standards of beauty. When I hit puberty, my breasts quickly grew to the size of watermelons. Middle school boys would oggle my chest, which protruded through my too small uniform shirt. Although I admit that the attention was flattering at times, this was the beginning of my budding negative self-image. My boobs were big, my ass was flat, and I in no way fit the portrayal of beauty made popular by the stars.
Even as women, depictions of beauty that are perpetuated still have a tremendous effect on our self-esteem. Social media has prompted a mindset that encourages comparison and insecurity, and not even celebrities are exempt from this perpetual search for perfection.
Karrueche Tran recently sat down with Paper to discuss how her own insecurities almost led her as far as physical augmentation.
"I used to think I had to be thick and have big boobs. I thought about getting my boobs done, but I was like one: I don't know how my body's going to react to that, and two: why am I changing who I am because of other people's' comments?"
Preach.
Paras Griffin/Getty Images for 2017 ESSENCE Festival
In our millennial-centric world, surgery is said to be the key to insecurity. Artists like K. Michelle and Get Bodied By J have been transparent about their experience with butt injections, which eventually led to hospitalization and painful coveries.
Thanks to the honesty of these women and stars like Karrueche, little girls and women can find peace in knowing that our bodies are beautiful naturally. Karrueche said:
"I can represent other girls out there and make them feel confident, which is hard in this world where everyone just wants to be thicc. I had to learn to deal with everything, or else I'd be in a corner crying somewhere."
Once you can break free of who other people think you should be, you can be who you truly are. Karrueche found power in self-love, which ultimately led to self-discovery. During that self-discovery, she found her passion in acting.
The second season of Claws premiered and proved that Karrueche is a force to be reckoned with in the film industry, but the vibrant confidence she has onscreen wasn't always a reality for Karrueche. She told Stylecaster:
"I felt ashamed and embarrassed, like people weren't taking me seriously because I didn't have this substantial résumé. Like I didn't qualify to call myself an actor."
"What I had to realize is everybody has their own story and just because I didn't grow up in theater or on Broadway or as a child actor doesn't mean I can't do this."
Karrueche had to realize that not everybody will see your vision. The Claws actress turned her self-doubt into self-confidence, and now she's at the top of her game. And she didn't have to be "thicc" to do it.
"Just a few years ago it was an idea. Acting was something I was intrigued by, but I didn't know if this could actually be a career for me, and now here I am. I can just continue to go up."
Check out the interview in full by clicking here.
Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for 2017 ESSENCE Festival
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images