More Than A Network: How WEEN Is Cultivating The Next Generation Of Girl Bosses In Entertainment
When you are seeking a job in entertainment, it can be hard to build your network and get your foot in the door. Luckily, there are organizations such as WEEN that makes things just a little easier.
I first heard about WEEN (Women In Entertainment Empowerment Network) back in 2009 as a sophomore student at Howard University. True to the Howard stereotype I was a woman on my grind and unwilling to stop at nothing to make my dreams a reality. I knew I wanted to work in the entertainment business (at the time I was more focused on marketing than journalism), and became actively involved on our campus in entertainment organizations as a volunteer for the Homecoming committee, and the campus radio station WHBC, in addition to a bunch of other initiatives that I had my hand in.
WEEN Founders (left to right): Sabrina Thompson, Lauren Lake, Kristi Henderson, Valeisha Butterfield
But one thing I knew even then was the importance of having a solid support system of likeminded women. Anybody whose dabbled in entertainment knows that it's a tough industry to navigate. It'll test your strength, your perseverance, and your dedication. You'll find out if you're really as much of a go-getter as you claim to be, and you'll learn how much integrity and morals you really have. With so many challenges it becomes vital to have a group of women you can turn to when you need a bit of advice regarding your career, or even just an opinion on navigating the various circumstances that you'll surely be presented with.
So when I learned about WEEN, their network of women in entertainment and their mission to empower women and highlight those who positively portray women in the industry, I was elated. That year they were doing a scholarship fund, and I, along with one other scholarship recipient, submitted a video detailing why we deserved the award. Out of many applicants we were selected and invited to attend the WEEN Awards that took place in Washington, D.C. To say that it was an experience of a lifetime would be an understatement. As a girl coming from Daytona Beach, FL by way of Greensboro, NC, it was an honor to walk around a room (and rooftop) of people that I had always looked up to and admired. I shook hands with Debra Lee, snapped photos with Angie Martinez and Malinda Williams, joked around with Vivica A. Fox, and Shanti Das, and semi-stalked MC Lyte for a photo before the night ended. (Yes I was stanning, no I'm not ashamed!)
I graced the stage to accept my award in front of a room full of women (and men as well) whom I've watched and admired, and over the years ran into many of these people again throughout my various jobs and internships. And though they probably don't remember me, I remember them and those few hours when I felt the warmth of their support amongst one another.
Cari Champion, Naturi Naughton, Faith Evans, Rocsi Diaz, and WEEN Founder/CEO Valeisha Butterfield-Jones at the 2015 WEEN Awards
On November 18, the non-profit organization celebrated their 5th annual WEEN Awards and eight years of service—honoring notable women Regina Hall (Think Like a Man) and Naturi Naughton (Power), Faith Evans (Singer/Songwriter), journalists Cari Champion (ESPN) and Rocsi Diaz (HLN), and Tiffany Smith Anoa'i (SVP of Diversity & Communications, CBS Entertainment), and Marilyn Mosby (Baltimore State Attorney).
It's amazing to witness the growth and success of such a powerful organization that builds you up while allowing you to build your network, and is proof that we are stronger together as women supporting one another, than we are apart tearing one another down.
Following the event, I spoke with co-founder Valeisha Butterfield, and she gave me a little more insight into the WEEN movement and the WEEN Academy, which is cultivating the next generation of women bosses.
What's different about the WEEN Awards now than the prior years?
It was our 5th annual so we were really excited about that so not only to highlight the achievement of our honorees but in our 5th year having the awards and our 8th year of service since we were founded in 2007, it really was a celebration of the honorees, the organization, and most importantly the WEEN Academy graduates. and so you know it really was a celebration of all those things and it was exciting to really watch some of our academy grads and see their accomplishments and how they've grown over the years.
You guys also do the WEEN Academy, which is a free four-week crash course in the entertainment business with classes taught by leading celebrities and entertainment industry executives. Can you talk more about that and how you've seen it impact the young women?
It's an annual summer program, but members from all four of our classes came back this year to celebrate, and so it was really like a class reunion for a lot of them. So many of them now are working mid-level and senior-level jobs at places like BET, VH1 and radio network stations--and the list goes on and on. Many of them are doing well now.
What is the training that the students have to go through during the summer course?
The program has a curriculum that we created with Dr. Nsenga Burton, and that curriculum is focused on how to help women compete and navigate the entertainment industry. So we cover areas such as marketing, public relations, advertising and talent management. The list goes on and on of all the things in that curriculum. And when the students complete the program, they not only receive WEEN certification, but they are groomed and ready to take on their new roles in the entertainment industry whether it's as an intern or an entry level job.
Editor's note:At the completion of the program, top WEEN Academy students receive an official WEEN certification, a WEEN mentor for twelve months to support the graduate's progress post program, and access to internships in the entertainment business.
How do you go about selecting the students?
No experience is required, but every March (Women's History Month) we have an open audition where young ladies (college students form 18 - 22-years-old), sometimes thousands, come from all over the country to compete for 30 slots in the academy. The young women come in and we have a celebrity panel of judges (think like American Idol), and the judges listen to their business pitch for 60 seconds on why they should be inducted into the academy. Again, they do not have to have entertainment experience, but they do have to have passion, drive, and a hunger to succeed because the academy is extremely intense, just like the entertainment industry is.
You also have the mentors involved too, right?
Yes, every WEEN Academy graduate is assigned a mentor for one full year after the program. Those mentors are there to answer the questions and to help them navigate the steps they'll need after the academy to get their first job.
This year you also honored women who aren't in entertainment, but are also making great contributions to the community (e.g. Marilyn Mosby). How did you select this year's nominees?
We have a small board that helps with the nominations, so the ladies nominate the honorees of their choice based on their work to empower other women, their track record, their consistency, and there's a formula that they use for all of those things. There's a nomination process and then we vote as a board and as a committee. We had seven honorees this year, and all were selected, nominated, and voted on by the board of the committee.
Is there a certain criteria that they have to meet in order to be nominated?
Yes, but within that category. For example, Tiffany Smith Anoa'i (SVP of Diversity & Communications, CBS Entertainment), she accepted the Corporate Leadership Award. Also Regina Hall received the Image Award because of her positive portrayal in television and film and on screen. And so there are categories that went to each of the ladies that were honored, and it was definitely based on their track record and their accomplishments over the last year.
What's next for WEEN?
Of course, the WEEN Academy we will have again this year; we're hoping to expand it into new markets. Also, we're rolling out a college campus program throughout the country to serve as WEEN reps, and ultimately the goal there is to create chapters on college campuses, so we're starting with the reps this year with the goal of having small campus teams. Also, we will be releasing our first annual WEEN Power 100 list to highlight women and the unsung heroes in the entertainment industry and beyond who deserve the recognition and the work they do in their areas of business and for their work to empower women. So those are a hosts of things we are doing right now.
What does being a WEEN woman mean to you?
A WEEN woman means that you are fearless—you take life as it comes. You do it fearlessly, with integrity, and most importantly you're willing to do the work.
Find out more about WEEN by visiting their website WEENonline.org.
Kiah McBride writes technical content by day and uses storytelling to pen real and raw personal development pieces on her blog Write On Kiah. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @writeonkiah.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Do You Want To Be A Wife? Or Do You Just Want To Have A Wedding?
Even though it’s my life, sometimes I look at it and totally trip out over certain things.
For instance, even though I am aware that both Hebrew and African cultures put a lot of stock in the name of a child (because they believe it speaks to their purpose; so do I) and I know that my name is pretty much Hebrew for divine covenant, it’s still wild that in a couple of years, I will have been working with married couples for a whopping two decades — and boy, is it an honor when they will say something like, “Shellie, we’ve seen [professionally] multiple people and no one has been nearly as effective as you have been.”
Yep, me. Little ole’ never-been-married-before me. Yeah, y’all better quit letting people tell you what you’re called to do in this world. That is between you and the One who made you.
Okay, but let me stay on track. When it comes to the engaged couples specifically, who have crossed my path, something that I believe I’ve said to each and every one of them (especially the bride-to-be) is — “You better enjoy every single minute of your wedding day because you deserve a big ‘ole party for all of the work that you’re about to do.” And then I look at the woman as intensely as I can and say, “And you? Remember, you are a bride for a day. You are a wife for the rest of your life.”
Why do I emphasize that point so much? It’s because those two things are not one and the same. Hmph. Let me tell it, a huge reason why 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women, however, is because a lot of them think that it is. And so, in the effort to do my part to help make marriages last longer and cause the divorce rate to go down, I think it’s important for more women to ponder if they really want to be a wife — or if they just want to throw a big party (a wedding), go on a trip (a honeymoon) and not much more than that.
Buckle in. This one might be a bit of a ride (for some, at least).
It’s Time to Stop “Living for the Fairy Tale”
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while (and if so, thank you), it will not shock you in the least that I’ve spent many years studying the origins of things as they directly relate to marriage. I know that the engagement ring is not about love but about a jewelry company that was about to go bust. So, they came up with the slogan “A diamond is forever” and then made some serious bank from it (you can read about that here).
I know that white wedding dresses have nothing to do with purity and virtue; in fact, women in the Bible often wore lots of bright colors during their more-than-one-day wedding celebrations. Actually, white comes from Queen Victoria making it famous back in the 1840s. I also know that a lot of people were pretty obsessed with evil spirits back in the day because things like wearing a wedding veil and bridesmaids wearing the same dresses were all about hiding from said spirits. Another pretty popular wedding day tradition? Well, I’ll just let you read Insider’s “Here's the horrifying truth about why grooms carry brides across the threshold,” if you’re interested.
And as far as marriage goes, don’t even get me started on the whole “I’m living for the fairy tale” narrative that gets pushed incessantly. I’ve said in other articles before that "fairy tale" literally means “a story, usually for children, about elves, hobgoblins, dragons, fairies, or other magical creatures” and “an incredible or misleading statement, account, or belief.” Who wants to live for childish stories that are incredibly misleading? And the ones that have a character like Prince Charming in it? The Bible literally says that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Know what else the Bible says? It states that death and life are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, what’s up with all of this wedding/marriage rhetoric that’s so popular and also, so… “silly” is the first word that comes to mind, “unrealistic” is the second and “unnecessary” is the third?
Why are there so many expectations, especially when it comes to the wedding day, that push folks to the point where a whopping 49 percent of couples end up going into debt right after jumping the broom — all because they wanted to live for the fairy tale and throw a big party that they basically couldn’t afford? SMDH.
It really is wild, just how much human nature tends to do things without even really knowing WHY it does it — even when it comes to marriage. And so, if you are someone who desires this type of union, be honest with yourself: what is your “why”?
When it comes to becoming a wife someday, WHY do you want to do that?
A man needing to spend three times his salary on an engagement ring, WHY?
When it comes to having a big traditional wedding, WHY is it necessary?
Marriage is a goal for you (and don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing) — WHY is that the case?
When it comes to being married, WHY do you think it will better serve you than your single state?
Motivational speaker Eric Thomas once said, “When you find your ‘why’, you will find a way to make it happen.” And when it comes to something as big (and supposed to be lifetime lasting) as marriage, perhaps a big part of the reason WHY so many of them do not go the distance is because there aren’t enough “why” questions, on the front end, that are asked (which is why you should partake in premarital counseling before your wedding day). Oh, but there should be.
Because saying “why” you want a huge wedding is nothing more than “because I want to” or “why” you chose the man that you did is simply “I love him” — I’ve been doing this couples work thing long enough to assure you that those answers simply aren’t good enough. You need to know what it means to be a wife and why a marriage and a wedding are not the same thing…not by the longest country mile that you can imagine.
What It Means to Be a Wife
GiphyIf you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I’m good for throwing some Scripture in; it’s a part of my foundation and I make no apologies for it. And so, when it comes to what it means to be a wife, the first word that’s used to define it in the Bible is “helpmate” (Genesis 2:18). A helpmate is a companion, a helper and someone who assists another individual — in this case, a husband.
While we’re here, a helper is not helping unless the help is actually needed and it’s good. Lawd, I can’t tell you how many wife clients I’ve had who have totally missed that part. So, what does “good help” look like?
- A good helper ASKS the person they are assisting what they need.
- A good helper does not try to control another person or make them do what they want.
- A good helper gets that needs can shift based on what is transpiring at any given time.
- A good helper makes things easier and less stressful.
- A good helper learns how to master good listening, effective communication, and wise timing.
And yes, in many ways, this is what it means to be a good wife. So, if you are someone who desires marriage, when it comes to what is required to be not just a wife but a GOOD WIFE, how much have you factored helping your man into the dynamic?
Not mothering him. Not bossing him around. Not trying to manipulate him into being a version of a husband that you would prefer. No, how much thought have you put into “Am I equipped to help another person be their best self? Am I ready to be supportive, encouraging, and nurturing? Was it even modeled to me, while growing up, to know what a proper helpmate looks like? Have I realized how much sacrifice goes into that type of role? Am I even selfless enough to be a consistent helper?”
I know this is probably gonna ruffle some feathers yet, you know something that I’m not big on? Women saying that their man should give them the “princess treatment.” Every time I hear that, the first thought that comes to my mind is “Fathers make their daughters princesses while men make their wives a queen” — and little girls are treated differently than grown women. And to that, Proverbs 12:4(NKJV) says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
My point? There is a MATURITY that is to come from going from princess to queen. A queen does have more privileges, yet, at the same time, she also has way more responsibility. It’s not about sitting around and being catered to all day long. Queens have work to do — and it’s not always comfortable or pretty. Same thing goes for being a wife.
Y’all, I could go on and on (and on and on and on) about what it means to be a wife in a marriage. For now, I’ll just end this part of the article with, “If you’re not ready to help, each and every day of your relationship, you’re not ready to be a wife.” Plain and simple.
Weddings Are Not Marriages (and Vice Versa)
GiphySo, why do so many people jump brooms (I’m writing this with Black folks in mind first; jumping brooms is for us only), only to turn around and get divorced a few years later? Oh, I could go on and on as well about how a lot of people don’t have much integrity when it comes to the promises that they make. Listen singles, when you’re dating someone, pay very close attention to whether the person you’re seeing keeps their word — and if you do the same.
It makes absolutely no sense to keep letting someone slide when it comes to reneging now, only to act shocked when they do the same thing after saying “I do.” And while we’re here, being a man or woman of your word is a character issue. Maybe folks are not strong in character when it comes to this.
Yet another reason why folks will get all dolled up, stand before God, family, and friends, look someone straight in the eye, and promise to never leave, only to do just that, is because many people honestly don’t see past their wedding (and maybe their newlywed years). That is why you will hear so many people describe their perfect wedding day, down to the last detail, and yet, if you ask what their five-year plan for their marriage is, they have absolutely not one clue.
I mean, I get it — to a certain extent. A wedding is a big party where you get to dress to the nines, have people come to celebrate you and you get to have everything go your way — down to the font on the programs and reception napkins. Oh, but what a “trick” that can be if you think that your marriage is going to move like that, all of the time, moving forward. I liken it to The Bachelor franchise. Who wouldn’t feel like they are falling for someone when they’re able to live in a mansion with no bills, have fantasy dates that cost thousands of dollars, and a big ole’ rock that a famed jeweler donates?
Meanwhile, folks should watchUnREAL (the television series from several years back where some former producers of the franchise talk about what really happens behind the scenes) to get a reality check. To a certain extent, the same thing goes for marriage: while weddings produce this belief that marriage will be one big party where everyone focuses on you and everything goes your way, that isn’t even close to being the reality of being married.
Honestly, the real deal is 1) if you don’t want to learn how to love on a supernatural level; 2) if you don’t want your strengths to be refined and your weaknesses to be challenged; 3) if you don’t want to be held accountable in ways that you would never be if you remained single; 4) if you don’t want to compromise on a daily basis and, 5) if you don’t want to be challenged to become a truly selfless individual — marriage isn’t for you.
You’d be far better off just throwing a big ass party for yourself, just because (and no, I don’t mean marry yourself; you are already “one” with you; no need for that), and call it a day. Spare yourself and another person the heartache of divorce because…divorce is A LOT to go through.
Lawd, I can only imagine how much drama could be spared if folks simply took into their spirit that weddings ARE NOT marriages and marriages ARE NOT weddings. Weddings are a party to celebrate your union — yet your union? That requires daily energy, effort, and time. It’s not a party. It’s a relationship. BIG DIFFERENCE.
Please Don’t Get Married Until You’re Sure That You Want…BOTH
GiphyAnd this is why, whenever someone tells me that they are going to get married, I don’t immediately respond with, “Congrats! That’s awesome.” NOPE. The very first thing that comes out of my mouth is something along the lines of, “For real. Why?” WHY? Because, it never fails that, about 7.5 times outta 10, folks will be caught off guard and say, “What do you mean ‘why’?” and then follow that up with, “Because I’m in love” or…they don’t really know what to say at all.
Is being in love a good answer? I mean, it explains why you picked the person that you did; it doesn’t really explain why you are choosing to commit to them for the rest of your life, on a marital level, though. Are you getting married because you know that the two of you will make each other better people? Are you getting married because you want to raise your children in a two-parent dynamic? Are you getting married for biblical reasons like wanting to love like Christ loves his bride (the Church and the Church sent him through A LOT — Ephesians 5)?
Are you getting married because you think you’ve gone as far as you can in your evolution as an individual without the assistance of another? Are you getting married because you want to serve another person as they do the same for you (perhaps not in the same ways because you’re both different people)?
Is that asking the most? Chile, that’s not asking enough. I don’t care how much people mock marriage in the media by changing partners like they change cars or homes. I don’t care how much divorce has been normalized. I don’t care how much folks like to act like a husband is a 2.0 boyfriend (it’s not) and having a wife is a 2.0 girlfriend (it’s not) — marriage is special, sacred, and needs to be honored as such. A wedding should be seen as a happy occasion where two people publicly acknowledge what I just said…not simply a time to get a lot of attention and presents only to come home and go from heaven to hell in six months.
And honestly, that’s a bit part of the reason why I do what I do: it’s because I actually think the covenant of marriage is SO MAGNIFICENT that I want to make sure that people know, as much as possible, what they are signing up for — not an endless wedding; a very real relationship that will challenge them and mature them like nothing else ever will in this lifetime.
____
This was a lot. I already know. Still, it beats spending thousands of dollars on a wedding to stand before a chaplain only to spend thousands of more dollars several years later on a divorce lawyer and therapy while standing before a judge.
Weddings are awesome; you’ll get no argument from me there. Still, I think if I was to narrow all of this down into one statement, it would simply be this: “When it comes to marriage, if the thought of being a wife doesn’t excite you more than being a bride — wait. You’re not ready yet.”
Thank me later, sis. YOU WILL.
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