Wendy Williams Being Forced To Take A Hiatus Is A Reminder To Take Care Of You
It's 2018 and Wendy Williams hasn't had a break since the 90's. Let that sink in.
You would think someone with a tax bracket like Wendy Williams would be able to afford a break every now and again. But, as the 53-year-old talk show host recently revealed, that isn't always the case.
Especially not her own.
Yesterday, Wendy Williams took to her show to announce that not only has she not had a day off in 25 years, but that she's also battling Graves' disease, and per doctor's orders, she has to take time off.
"My doctor has prescribed - are you ready? As of today, three weeks of vacation. I'll be back in two. I'm not an heiress - who is going to pay my bills? Are you serious? I'm just saying, I come from working class."
The autoimmune disease, which affects the the thyroid, often includes symptoms such as anxiety, hand tremors, heat sensitivity, weight loss, puffy eyes, and more. And although Wendy didn't confirm or deny that her on-air fainting incident from October was a result of Graves', the symptoms do seem eerily similar.
What Wendy's confession did prove is that our income is relative to our expenses, and how we're living is based on what we make for a living. Long story short, mo' money, mo' bills, mo' problems. And although Wendy is part of the upper-class now, it's clearly difficult for her to shake her working-class approach to her fear of going broke.
But Wendy isn't the only successful media-personality who fears a loss in fortune and how it impacts family. Back in 2015, The Real's Jeannie Mai opened up about her fear of going broke after witnessing her father eating scraps out the kitchen garbage.
"The fear of not being able to take care of my family weighs very heavy on my heart. So much sometimes it gets in the way of me and my husband, it keeps me back from being able to spend a little more comfortably for myself. Because my parents immigrated here a couple years before I was born so we didn't have anything.
"I distinctly remember this time when my dad got laid off from his job but he didn't tell us, so I was going past the school office and I saw my dad talking to the administrators about getting a job as a janitor... I remember a couple days a week he would buy Popeye's chicken and he'd bring it home for us, and he would never eat with us, he'd say, 'You guys eat. I'm not hungry. I already ate lunch.' And I was like, 'Okay.' So we'd eat all the chicken.
"That night you guys, I went out for a glass of water after I went to bed, and I saw my dad going through the trash and taking out some of the- (cries) taking out some of the chicken. And I couldn't watch. Because I was basically seeing my dad go through the trash, you know?"
How heartbreaking. It's easy to understand how one could be traumatized from witnessing such a thing.
However, as Wendy advises, although ambition is not wrong, balance is the key. After revealing her diagnosis, the host went on to give a word of advice for all women, warning them of the dangers of overworking and how it's not always worth it.
"What I want to say to women, more than men, is stop putting everyone first because if we're not good, they're not good."
When it comes to most industries, as women of color, our fight for a seat at the table is far different from that of the White, Black or any man for that matter. Truth be told, once we battle both tooth and nail to be considered in the big leagues, we have a natural fear of losing our spot. And that worry is bigger than losing the money to buy a bag, but rather, the money we use to pay our bills and that of our families.
Listen, we get it, girls just wanna have funds. But as Wendy Williams proved, sometimes the cost of being a boss is never having a day off. And unfortunately, the price we pay is our life. But as we learned here — a promotion in wealth is not worth a demotion in health.
You're no good to anyone unless you're good to yourself first.
Exhaustion and illness doesn't discriminate. Neither does time. So cash in on your vacation hours and take a break while you still can.
We're wishing Wendy a speedy a much-needed recovery.
Featured image by Robyn Michele Beauty via Wendy Williams/Instagram
- Wendy Williams announces show hiatus due to Graves' disease - CNN ›
- Wendy Williams Diagnosed with Graves' Disease | PEOPLE.com ›
- Wendy Williams diagnosed with Graves' disease, taking hiatus from ... ›
- Wendy Williams Reveals Graves' Disease Diagnosis | E! News ›
- Wendy Williams To Take Hiatus After Graves' Disease Diagnosis ... ›
- Wendy Williams ordered to take three weeks off for Graves Disease ... ›
- Wendy Williams Reveals Graves' Disease Diagnosis ›
- Wendy Williams Goes on 3-Week Hiatus Over Graves' Disease ... ›
A modest goddess who keeps it humble between mumbles. I'm a journalism graduate with a HERstory in digital media, print and radio. Roll the credits: Power 96, VH1, xoNecole, EBONY, SOHH. Deemed "Top 20 Women in Media" by Power 105. Bronx made me, Broward raised me.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Another season of Love Is Blind has come to a close, and almost two months later we’re still unpacking the drama that is Clay and AD. The finale, reunion, and post-interviews with Clay and AD after season six of Love Is Blind left millions of people wondering - why couldn’t AD see the signs? Clay told her he had a fear of marriage, his parents experienced infidelity, and he seemed to have many doubts about saying, "I do."
After changing his mind at the altar and hearing AD question why she feels like she’s never enough, I was finished watching. I didn’t need to hear anything else because, at that moment, I realized this wasn’t about Clay; this was about AD feeling inadequate before she ever met Clay.
If I’m honest, I don’t watch much dating television. TikTok keeps me updated with the clips that I need to see in order to be kept in the loop, but it’s difficult for me to watch an entire season of dating TV because seeing Black women settle for less and questioning their beauty is a trigger for me. In many ways, there were points in my life where I was AD, settling and ignoring red flags because I wanted to be loved.
Now, on the other side, it doesn’t feel good to see Black women lower their standards on national television. There have been many hot takes on this couple and who was in the wrong. Did Clay play in AD’s face or did she not listen to the truth of what he told her from day one? Was his reason for joining the show to promote his business and not to find the one?
We’ll never know the truth, but what we can do is learn tactics to better our self-worth. Founder and CEO of The Self Love Organization Denise Francis shared her expertise with xoNecole on what tangible steps to take to improve feelings of worthiness. “Self-love blooms in a garden where self-worth is planted, nourished, and whole. However, when your self-worth is challenged, displaced, or broken, it could be difficult to rebuild," Denise explains.
How To Rebuild Self-Worth
During her self-love coaching sessions, Denise likes to walk her clients through the cornerstones of rebuilding self-worth: grace and self-compassion. To her, self-worth is never lost, it's only displaced, so practicing self-compassion and giving yourself grace is a must. "We tend to place our self-worth in entities and people of ourselves such as relationship status, physical appearance, material possessions, social media followings, what others think of us, and more. Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth.
"Self-worth is not something to be measured by anyone or anything outside of ourselves because we all innately hold value and worth."
"When we place our value into people or things, we tend to feel that we are not enough, worth it, special, or important when relationship status, job titles, friendships, and physical appearances are lost or changed. We then tend to feel lost within ourselves because we’ve placed our value outside of ourselves. Using grace and compassion, you can rebuild your self-worth by returning home to who you are at your core," she concludes.
How To Return Home To Yourself
Denise advises taking a step back and using self-reflection through journaling by answering the following journaling prompts:
First, ask yourself, "What do you tend to attach your self-worth to and why?"
Is it your relationships, your job title, your finances, your appearance, etc.? Why do you think you place so much emphasis on external status? How does it make you feel when you are defining yourself through these entities and/or people outside of yourself?
Then, ask yourself, "Without these things, who am I?"
Once you have your answers, show yourself kindness, remove the shame, and, as Denise says, "Redefine yourself by detaching your value from the things and people you have no control over and no longer serve you. Challenge yourself to define yourself outside of titles and societal values."
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person. You begin to find value in the way you love instead of your relationship status, your compassion instead of your popularity, your drive instead of your income/job title, and your heart instead of your physical appearance," she adds.
"By returning home to your core, you find value in who you are as a person."
"Be intentional with healing your self-worth by leaning into the people and things that nourish your core values. Surround yourself with the people who love and cherish you, they will always remind you just how valuable you truly are."
It all goes back to self-compassion and grace. As Denise explains, leading with those two things as you heal and rebuild your self-worth allows you to reduce negative self-talk that might come up for you. "This weakens thoughts like, 'I am not enough... why am I never enough?'" she shares, "And 'I don't deserve this while strengthening thoughts like 'I deserve better,' 'I am enough,' and 'I am worth it.'"
Denise continues, "Once you return home and remember the irreplaceable person you are, you can rebuild your self-worth by placing it back where it belongs. It belongs to you."
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Featured image by LaylaBird/Getty Images