In the backseat of your car not too long ago, things got a little heated.
I went from indulging you from the passenger seat to laying face down, ass up in the backseat. As you finish, I knew that just as you came, you would also cum to your senses…if you catch my drift. I look out of the window to make sure no cars were coming, open the door, pull my panties up, and my dress down. As I'm adjusting myself, I slowly feel your remains falling out of me. What the hell did I just get myself into? Another moment of after happy hour sex may have just cost me my ass this time. I look at you in despair as you ask me what's wrong, and I casually, yet with much remorse ask, "Did you nut in me?”
That is a moment I will never forget.
The next few days were so frightening. I was feeling scared, my body was extremely tense, and in my mind I was definitely later than expected on my cycle. Not only was my period missing, but so were you.
Usually after sex, I don't hear from you until you're ready to feel me again, but this time was different. See, this time I was actually afraid. Not that you hadn't text me, or checked on me, no. I was afraid that if I was to be pregnant, that you would be the father. That single thought alone ruined me.
See, for years I adjusted.
I adjusted to secretly being the love of your life behind many closed doors and somehow I became okay with it. It had become an identity of mine that I wasn't ready to part with, one that I also had gotten away with without the fear of consequences. Until now. As the thoughts of pregnancy ran through my mind, I began to think of the life my child would have to endure with not only me, the insane mentally unstable person I had become. Or you, the emotionally unavailable, egotistical male that seemed to neglect or run away from anything that came close to making an impact on his heart.
If you couldn't love me, what could you do for a child that you helped create?
It was within those moments of thoughts that I knew I had to let you go. I didn't want a child, and it's not because I didn't want to bring one into the world, but I could allow myself to put another human through the heartache and pain that I allowed for myself for so long. I knew that I wanted the father of my child to be one who respects me and loves me enough to love me in public just as much as he loves me in private. I knew that I wanted the father of my child to be my best friend and my soulmate, and not just one who occasionally touches my soul with strokes other than his ego. It couldn't be you, and I had to assure that.
[Tweet "A pregnancy scare scared me away from you."]
Away from casually loving you, and into deep hiding to where loving myself was only a page away. For so many years I had never been punished for loving you. For so many years, I got away with being filled with everything inside of you, except your heart and it finally caught up to me.
This is an open letter to my former situationship. Like a lot of women, I found myself involved with a man I knew wasn't right for me. I subjected myself to late night/backseat after hours rendezvouses with a man who had no real attachment to me.
I accepted the "love" I thought I was worth, and since I felt like nothing, I was content with him treating me like nothing, using and abusing me, until he came and went and I had nothing left.
I knew I deserved more, but at the time, I didn't love me enough to even open my mouth in an attempt to vocalize those needs.
Although the transition was hard, I can proudly say that it's been a few months since I've let go and allowed myself to recover with this revelation.
Here are ways I used my pregnancy scare to help me regain my self worth:
I looked at the woman I was on the road to becoming.
I wrote down my goals, and looked at the progress I had made mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I began to look at the bad habits (the type of men that I was after) and realized that the men that I had been entertaining didn't add up or bring something greater to what I was already giving myself.
I began to take a deeper look into my mental health.
If you look up the definition of insanity, one of the things that will pop up is doing something that is very foolish or unreasonable. That is exactly what I was doing. And repeatedly. Mentally, I had tricked myself into thinking that it was okay for me to be controlled by my fear of being alone and I allowed a foolish treatment to myself. This made me weaker mentally.
I stopped looking for potential.
The good thing about growth and maturity is that as you get older, you begin to rid yourself of the Disney fairytales of a guy going through hell and high water to get the woman of his dreams back after he allowed the ball to drop. Potential is so powerful when actions are provided with it. No actions were put in place for the situation that I was in, just kind words and temporary gestures. Don't get it twisted, that by itself is not potential. As women, we have to realize we deserve so much more.
[Tweet "Potential only has power when actions are provided with it."]
I know now what I truly deserve, and I've grown so much since then.
Thank God for that pregnancy scare.
Have you ever had an awakening moment in your journey to loving yourself and having self worth? Share with us below!
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Chelsey Cummings is a 24 year old, Texas Southern University student who resides in Houston, Texas. Majoring in Communications with a focus in Print Journalism, with hopes of becoming a published author. Follow her readings on keepingupwithchello.wordpress.com and Instagam: keepingupwithchello.
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
“Your circle is everything,” Reginae shares with a smile, and she’s not wrong. She’s all about creating spaces where we can come together, let our hair down, and vibe with like-minded women. “We deserve spaces to meet, uplift, and vibe with each other. BLK is making that happen,” she adds.
A New Era for Friendships—Social Mode Is Here!
Gen Z is all about building meaningful connections, whether it’s with a date or a new brunch buddy. That’s why Social Mode is such a big deal. Research shows that 65% of Gen Z values friendships just as much as romantic relationships. With BLK’s new feature, users can easily toggle between “Dating” and “Social,” opening up a world of platonic connections—no swiping right required.
Bahja Rodriguez, Reginae Carter, Breaunna Womack, Lourdes Rodriguez and Zonnique Pullins attend OMG Girlz "Make A Scene" Single Release & Video Viewing Party at Trap City Cafe on March 27, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia
Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage
Reginae Carter Hosts the Ultimate Girls’ Night In—Powered by BLK Social Mode
What better way to show Social Mode in action than with an exclusive Girls’ Night In, hosted by Reginae? The event brought together top influencers, tastemakers, and press for a night of luxury, self-care, and real talk about love, sex, and relationships. From tarot readings to perfume-making and signature cocktails, the evening embodied the “soft life” vibe that many Black women are embracing in 2025—peaceful, intentional, and full of joy.
Guests mingled, laughed, and bonded over the importance of finding a tribe that supports you. It wasn’t just about fun (although there was plenty of that!)—it was about creating a circle of inspiring, strong women. “We need to stick together. We need to be each other’s village,” Reginae says, emphasizing the power of community over competition.
Sisterhood: The Real MVP
For Reginae, it’s all about friendship—and not just the surface-level kind. “We need friends who keep it real with us. The ones who can tell us when we’re right, when we’re wrong, and when we need to calm down,” she says. As someone who navigates the spotlight, she’s got the best of both worlds: friends who understand the grind and those who can give her an honest, grounded perspective.
Her advice for building strong, intentional friendships? “Be confident in yourself and know your worth,” she explains. “Also, hurt people hurt people, so make sure you’re coming from a good place when you’re building relationships. It’s not always about being nice—sometimes it’s about being real.”
Reginae couldn’t have summed it up better: “When you have the right circle, the right tribe, everything just feels easier. And that’s exactly what BLK is giving us—space to connect, laugh, and grow with each other.”
To learn more about BLK’s Social Mode, download or update the BLK app in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Who knows? You might just find your new bestie or your next brunch crew.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage