

There are two types of post-graduation personas:
1) The "GET ME OUT OF HERE" girl: she was always checking the countdown clock on her phone, her bags were packed since March, she has her next steps figured all the way out, the "College? Don't know her" girl.
2) The "College are the best years of our life" girl: she always posts #tbt's on Instagram, she always "has a plan" but never wants to talk about a career, she's already planning post-graduation meetups. She's not ready to move on, girl.
While graduating college is an incredible achievement, regardless of your path or the length of time it took to secure your degree, graduation is not supposed to be the end but rather the beginning of an exciting future.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with reminiscing or staying in contact with friends and mentors who you connected with during the last 4+ years. In many ways, they are our lifelines. However, holding onto old relationships and memories should not prevent you from forming new ones. Use key lessons and successes from undergrad as a platform from which you will jump and soar to new heights now that you are the OG BAE – #BlackAndEducated.
Your price just went up. Act that way.
Here are 4 Do's and Don'ts for recent graduates to consider so you will NOT be that girl who peaked in college:
The author, top right, and friends at Cornell University. (Raheel Yanful)
Don't: Go with the flow (for too long).
Do: Be intentional about your next steps.
I repeat, and I repeat, going with the flow is not a plan. Taking a break is one thing, and a fundamental component of self care, but being intentional even in your uncertainty is incredibly important. Go to networking events. Reach out to alumni from your alma mater at companies you're interested in. Offer to work an unpaid internship or shadowing opportunity in order to get your foot in the door. Even if you decide that you do not like a certain career path or opportunity, that realization alone can help point you in the right direction. You are not going to magically fall into your next move by hanging around people and environments that are full of distractions. Discomfort is a part of moving forward, but leaning into it can prove to be more satisfying in the long run.
Don't: Hold onto relationships you have outgrown.
Do: Protect your peace. Let go of toxic people, keep your true friends close, and allow room for new friendships.
The same way clothes and music go out of style, so do relationships… and that's okay. Your history with someone should be a factor in sustainability but not the end-all-be-all. Every once in a while, especially after graduation, you should do an inventory of your friendships and question who is truly an asset. Be honest with yourself. If someone takes more out of you than they pour into you, let he, she, it, them go and don't look back. College is just one stage of many and you are going to continue meeting people who will go on to be your bridesmaids, children's godparents, partners in crime – your best friends. Don't miss out on these positive encounters for old baggage.
Don't: Reinvent the wheel.
Do: Be willing to switch everything up: your career path, personal brand, hairstyle – everything!
Just because a certain tactic worked for you in one stage of your life does not mean it will work for you in another. While sticking with what you know can be comforting, it should not be a crutch. Particularly for younger graduates, our 20s are all about exploration. Accept that job across the country. Pick up a new hobby. Cut off those relaxed ends. Nothing, especially your old reputation, should be enough to hold you back.
Don't: Live in the past.
Do: Reminisce, but make new memories.
There will definitely be moments where a song comes on and you will be transported back in time and suddenly miss your girls. Hold onto these moments, but remember that they are in the past. Don't be that girl who graduated three years ago but still goes to all of the undergrad pregames. It's time to move on, sis. Embedding yourself in old environments does not bring back the past, but just prevents you from embracing the future. Take a deep breath, turn up that song, and then keep it moving.
Four years is nothing compared to the next 40. Make them count.
*Featured Image: The author, a 2018 graduate, from Cornell University. (Raheel Yanful)
Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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Featured image by Soul Brother/Soul B Photos/Shutterstock