
Exclusive: Author Ayana Gray On Why There’s Power In Being The Hero Of Your Own Story

For Black girls and boys alike, the quest to find stories that reflect their everyday experiences starts as early as the flames of self-awareness begin to flicker. Ayana Gray — The New York Timesbest-selling author of the YA fantasy novel, Beasts of Prey — embarked on a similar journey when Black characters that reflected her as a young girl were few and far between. She’s made it her mission to tell the stories that position Black youth at the center of fantastical adventures ever since.
“I didn't see stories with Black kids that were having magical adventures,” Gray tells xoNecole. “If I wanted to read a story with a little girl like me on the cover, there was going to be racism, some sort of trauma or something sad was going to happen to that little girl or boy.” As disheartening as it was to come to grips with this reality, Gray began exploring her past in order to reimagine a story for the future.
Courtesy of Ayana Gray
While in college, Ayana’s education in African and African American studies led her on a trip to Ghana that would profoundly expand her worldview. While there, the landscape, culture, and her own curiosities for ancestral connection inspired the novel she was destined to write. “I'm a Black American woman. My heritage is messy. I don't know what region, what area of Africa my ancestors came from. So I wanted to write a fantasy novel, one that drew inspiration from the continent and honored the land itself,” Gray shares with xoNecole.
What she birthed is Beasts of Prey, an epic adventure colored with the rich and complex depths of our collective heritage, history, and culture. It tells the story of two Black teens on a magical quest to hunt down a monster. In Beasts of Prey, Gray provides more proof that Black youth, and even our inner child, can be the heroes of our own stories.
xoNecole: One thing I really appreciate about the work you do is that you’re committed to represent Black stories without them being centered in race-related trauma, tell us more about your intentions behind this.
Ayana Gray: You think about other groups of people and they're able to read fantastical stories and not have to read about trauma based on their race or identity. They're able to just transport themselves, and Black kids haven't had that. So we gave Black people a break. [Beasts of Prey] is magical and adventurous. There are monsters, and some are good and some are evil, but race – it’s not the centerfold. Everybody in the story is Black, but they're nuanced. You have different skin tones and hair textures.
There are Black people who are good, Black people who are evil, Black people who are funny. There's comedic relief, there's romance; Black people are able to occupy all of these spaces. And I think it was just a bit of wish-fulfillment in saying I wrote the story that I just really wanted a kid.
"Black people are able to occupy all of these spaces. And I think it was just a bit of wish fulfillment in saying I wrote the story that I just really wanted a kid."
xoNecole: Rejection can be a reality that many writers face. How did you manage those moments of rejection early in your career and bounce back to get to where you are today?
AG: I want to be very transparent: Beasts of Prey certainly faced rejection. And the moment that I always think about most sharply, was when a literary agent told me that she felt that Ekon, as a character, wasn’t strong enough. I remember being hurt, but what I think about when I face rejection is one of two things: I can take that rejection and critique and use it to make myself better if it's constructive. There are also some cases where there's projection because that story is not for that person. In that situation, when she said, “Your Black boy is not strong enough,” I said, you know what, she didn't understand what I was trying to do here.
Because I don't want to create this, “strong” Black boy, I want Ekon to be a Black boy who doesn't have to fit this expected mold of “strength” and what we think of strength being for Black people and Black boys. Sometimes, it's just accepting that, not every story is for every person and using that as fuel to write stories for the people who it is for.
Courtesy of Ayana Gray
xoNecole: Why was it important to center teens as the heroes of their own stories and see themselves within the pages as well as the cover?
AG: It's incredibly hard to be what you don't see, and I'm so proud and happy that I'm not the only Black writer who is committed to this. Black kids shouldn't have one option. When they go to the bookstore and the library, they should have a whole bookshelf, they should have shelves of options to see themselves as the hero of their story. Heroes and heroines of their stories. It's important because I felt it as a kid, I read books where I was never the hero, and it kind of informed the way I felt about my value for a very long time.
For the cover, I so adore the original cover of Beasts of Prey, but after speaking with my editor, who is also a Black woman, we realized there was so much power in having Koffi and Ekon, this Black boy and Black girl on the cover as people are wandering shelves of libraries and bookstores. I joked around on TikTok and I said I want people to know this is a 'Blackity Black Black' YA fantasy story. No apologies, no hesitation. This is a story of Black kids and when you're talking about representation, the more in your face you can be about it the better.
"No apologies, no hesitation. This is a story of Black kids and when you're talking about representation, the more in your face you can be about it the better."
Courtesy of Ayana Gray
xoNecole: 'Beasts of Prey' has been adapted into a film with Netflix. What was your initial reaction to this news and how does this align with the dreams that you’ve set for yourself?
AG: The success that I've been so blessed to have in the last year has really forced me to expand my dreams and dare to dream bigger - which is a weird thing. It's a weird thing to have a dream that you hold on to for so long and suddenly you have it and now you have to think about the next thing. I'm still processing it and still thinking about what’s next.
When I reflect and hope for the legacy that I leave behind, I want to write stories where Black kids get to see themselves in all sorts of spaces and see themselves as heroes. But more importantly, I really want for Black people, if and when they come across my books to say, “She did it, why can't I?”
It's hard to be what we can't see, but if you see authors out there — Black people out there chasing their dreams and accomplishing their goals, it leads you to say, “Well, I can do that too.”
Grab your copy of Beasts of Prey at Barnes & Noble. And connect with Ayana Gray on TikTok.
Featured image by Marston Photography
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Have You Ever Wondered If You're Settling...For A Lesser Version Of Your Own Self?
Y’all, even though spring is just a few steps away, it seems like just yesterday that I wrote “Resolve To Evolve In 2025. That's It.” as a New Year's piece. The gist of it is, instead of putting a lot of pressure to check off an Old Testament scroll of resolutions, why not just be committed to evolving? And, as you’re about to see in just a moment, a part of that is choosing not to settle — in any area of your life.
It sounds good, right? Refusing to settle is damn near the tagline for easily 40 percent of social media posts. However, when it really comes down to it, what does that actually mean? And more importantly, what does not settling require you to do?
Whether you wonder if you’re somehow settling for less or you’re simply ready to have way more in your world than you do right now, here are some things that you are going to need to be willing to do in order to live a life that says that you didn’t settle, in any facet of it, at all.
What Does It Actually Mean to “Settle”?
Refusing to settle. It’s something that is said so much these days that I’m not even sure we know what it actually means anymore. I say this because being arrogant, entitled, and/or expecting someone else to do for you what A) you won’t do for your own self and or B) you wouldn’t do for them in return. That isn’t the definition of “not settling.”
Actually, "not settling" is more about being so self-aware that you refuse to allow people, places, things, or ideas to influence or impact you to the point where you end up living a life that is less than what will bring out the absolute best in you.
Not settling is about moving around this earth in such a way that you know that, when it comes time to take your last breath, you have very few regrets because you prioritized having a high quality of life of richness and true fulfillment above all else.
Quality of life. When you think of your career, is it bringing out the best in you? When you think about your friendships, are your friends bringing out the best in you? When you think about your relationship, is it bringing out the best in you? The choices, both big and small, that you make on a daily basis — can you honestly say that you are intentional about choosing who and what will bring out the absolute best in you?
If you can’t firmly say “yes,” sis, on some level, you are settling — and as one of my favorite quotes of all time (by writer Maureen Dowd) says, “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.”
What you deserve. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a billion times over. “It” being that, by definition, in order to have what you deserve, you need to be qualified to have it (yes, that is literally what “deserve” means). So, when it comes to not settling because you want no less than what you deserve in this world — what energy and effort are you putting into making sure that YOU ARE QUALIFIED to have such things? Yeah, you’d be amazed by how many people end up settling in this life and it’s (mostly) because they missed this very crucial step.
If you are someone who gets that and simply looking for some signs to keep from settling, here are five that I want you to seriously take to heart.
You Rarely Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone
I hate to admit it but with me being an ambivert and really liking (I mean really liking) being at home, I haven’t been on an official vacation since my 20s (no exaggeration). I have traveled to see family (that is not exactly what I would call a vacation — LOL). I have gone to see friends and my godchildren (see what I said in the previous sentence — LOL). I have traveled all over for work and had some fun in the process. However, planning some time to get off of the grid and do NOTHING but rest and relax? Yep…late 20s.
And although I’m not exactly afraid to fly, I’ll be the first to say that it’s not my favorite thing on the planet to do — and with these planes currently falling out of the air right now (although reports say that is in our heads more than anything)? Oh, I would definitely be getting out of my comfort zone to travel right now.
And so long as I use some wisdom and discernment about when and where I go, that’s a good thing because people who stay in their comfort zone tend to live stagnant lives and/or live in fear (of the unknown) and/or don’t take risks and/or don’t try new things and/or don’t challenge their current way of thinking and/or overthink way too much and/or never really reach their full capacity — and all of these are sho ‘nuf signs of settling for a less-than life.
Me? I need to stop talking about taking a vacation and actually book one — and yes, I need to get my ass on a plane to get there. In my world that is a form of getting out of my comfort zone.
What do you need to do? Something tells me that, deep down, you know.
You Walk on Eggshells in Your Relationships
It really is wild how songs will immediately come to my mind, whenever I write on particular topics. Today, it’s one that I haven’t thought about in a hot minute: John Mayer’s “Say.” (For the record, “Daughters” is forever gonna be one of his best offerings; it’ll preach). If you know it, then you know that the hook says, on repeat, “say what you need to say” — and if you’re not doing this in your relationships, you’re settling. In order for people to really connect with you, they have to know you and they can’t do that if you are holding things back or…in.
For the record, I’m not speaking of lacking tact, timing, or maturity in your message or delivery because a part of what comes with solid communication is knowing how to do it effectively.
No, what I’m speaking of here is making sure that you’re not walking on eggshells with others: tensing or clamming up — you know, basically biting your tongue — when you want to share your perspective or a boundary; constantly worrying about what the consequences may be for bringing up your true feelings or opinions; letting other people hijack the conversations that they have with you; constantly walking away from interactions with other people feeling like you were gaslit or manipulated; and being nonconfrontational to an absolute fault, and/or feeling too insecure to be your genuine self.
What causes some of us to become this way? Well, if you’ve been reading my content for a while now, you know that I am a huge fan of the quote, “Adulthood is surviving children” and there is more and more intel coming out these days that if you were raised in an emotionally unpredictable environment, you can find yourself wanting to do whatever to keep the peace, even as an adult. If hearing that triggered you, you might want to consider seeing a therapist/counselor/life coach in order to get the tools to “reprogram you” in this department.
Because to go through life listening to folks express their thoughts and feelings while you don’t? GIRL, YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY SETTLING.
You Don’t Showcase Your Originality
March marks 10 years since my dad left this earth—and boy, if there is one thing that seemed to consistently trouble him is the aftermath of growing up around people who seemed to fight against his originality instead of embracing it and that is a horrible way to live. In some ways, I saw people try to do the same thing to me. An example?
I’m old enough to remember when a certain sorority would do something called The Jones Awards and I believe it was my freshman year (freshman or sophomore; it’s been a minute) when they gave me the “What the hell do you have on?” award. People laughed. It was mean. I didn’t really care, though. My mom is a New Yorker and never really wanted us looking like…mall dressers. LOL. And so, yes, I had my own individuality and, to this day, strangers will say, “Where are you from because we know it’s not from Nashville.” It is high praise.
Y’all, if I was out here trying to think/look/act like people around me, I doubt that I would’ve accomplished, shoot, 70% of what I have (already done) in my life because I needed to feel confident in my personality, my convictions and uniqueness in order to convince others that I could get certain things done. Hell, my original approach to things is a big part of what’s even kept me with this platform. Being original has taken me far and it can do the same for you. I say that because to be original is to be the first (and there is only one you). To be original is to be authentic. To be original is to be new, fresh, and inventive. Why would you want to settle for anything less than that?
It is the late Aaliyah who once said, “I stay true to myself and my style, and I am always pushing myself to be aware of that and be original.” Staying aware of the fact that no one is better than you in the sense that, there is nothing to really compare AN ORIGINAL to, that really should give you the confidence and courage to not conform. Conforming is settling. And yes, sadly, people do it all of the time. And that’s why they end up being a toy soldier instead of being truly memorable.
You’re Not Doing What Is BEST for You
People who talk to me on a consistent basis know that if there is a self-created motto that I will stay on-repeat about, it’s “Never mistake familiar for good and good for what is right.” Chile, I promise that if you factor that into your life decisions, it will help you to sidestep quite a bit of nonsense. Plus, if you’re someone who wants what is right for you, you will find yourself leaning into what is best for you as well.
Something (or someone) that is the best for you? It’s not just about having the highest quality of something (or someone); it’s also about carefully selecting the people, places, things, and ideas that will prove to be the most suitable for you. Suitable means things like appropriate, proper, becoming, correct, useful, relevant (that’s a good one) and comfortable to you. And y’all, in order to get to what and who is best, there’s a pretty good chance that you’re going to have to release some stuff and folks because, again, not settling is about cultivating an unmatched quality of life and some things (and people) are simply hindrances to and for that.
Example: There is someone I know who keeps going back to the same guy because he is familiar; however, so much has transpired since they first started dating that they are mistaking nostalgia for anything currently substantial (i.e., relevant). As a result, she is not accepting that he is not right for her which means that he is not who is best for her. Her mind knows it and yet she keeps letting her emotions get in the way (which is again why I can’t stand the saying “follow your heart;” the Bible clearly says that the heart is deceitful and heart means “center of emotions” — Jeremiah 17:9-10).
And so yes, when it comes to this guy, she is settling. BIG TIME. And when you settle in a (serious) relationship, it’s almost inevitable that you will start to do the same thing in other areas of your life. For shame, FOR SHAME!
Now, please make sure to really spend some time on the definitions of "best" before making any moves because it is definitely where the big kids play. What I mean by that is, that just because something is best for you, that doesn’t mean it’s always going to feel like it at the time. Her letting that guy go is what’s best even if, for a season, it’s going to hurt. However, in the grand scheme of things, by choosing what is “your best,” your life, long-term, will become so much better.
Listen, there’s no way that doing what’s best for you won’t result in life gifting you with some pretty unexpectedly amazing things as a direct result…if not immediately, in due time.
“Meh” Would Describe Your Lifestyle
Time. It goes by so much faster than we think. That’s why it’s so important — crucial even — to avoid doing things that will waste your time (check out “These Bad Habits Are Totally Wasting Your Time” and“Love Is Patient. But Is Your Relationship Just Wasting Your Time?”). Know what else? You should opt out of whatever won’t help you to live a life that is educational, exciting, purposeful…a life that is far from being “meh.” Meh is an actual word and it means things like indifferent, uninspiring, boring (check out “Bored All Of The Time? Here's What's Really Going On.”).
That said, if there is ANY area of your life where this word would apply, YOU. ARE. SETTLING.
So…what and/or who are you indifferent (feeling average or routine) about?
What and/or are you uninspired by?
What and/or who is boring you?
Why is that the case? Because to simply live in that energy without any real answers? Whew-whee is that settling and the fact that the moments in this lifetime are pretty fleeting, take this as the biggest sign ever that it is time to make some serious changes.
You need to be able to get up, every single day of your life, and be able to name at least three things that are exceptional about you and your world, that inspire you to aim higher and tap into your creative, exploratory, and even risky (health risks, that is) side. People who live like that? Chile, they rarely, if ever, settle for much of anything at all!
___
Author Jim Rohn was right when he said, “If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.” And goodness — why should you, a complete and total original, settle for ANYTHING that is ordinary?
To do so wouldn’t just be sad, it would be criminal.
Especially when it comes to who you are as a person — please, sis — never (EVER) settle.
It’s totally beneath you.
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Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images