4 Ways I Keep My Head In The Game During Oral Sex
OK ladies, let's be real. Nobody really enjoys giving oral sex ALL the time. Holding your mouth in that infamous o-shape for longer than a few minutes will have even the best personal head doctors checking the clock for their break time. But it's no secret that most men love oral sex. Not only because it feels so damn good to them, but also because it's a sexual act that is completely selfless. While you're on your knees and/or getting a slight tickle at the back of your throat, the red light special is really all about him. Baby, he's yours. For me, that feeling of power has always been enough to make me find pleasure in my partner's solo excursion. However, I confess that once the newness of your taste begins to stale, my head gets a little out of the game.
That same fervor and passion that was there every time shows its face every now and again, but not nearly as often. Head before, head after, head three times a day, but twice on Sunday is the pattern my long-term partner likes for me to showcase along his length. Admittedly, I've cut my eyes a few time upon hearing a request or when I know I've done a particularly amazing job and it glistens with my work, just so he can decide to prolong his orgasm and have me repeat my efforts once more. That gets on my last nerves. Alas, the thing I called a hobby drifts into chore territory. I've discovered a few tricks of the blowjob trade that works to iron out the kinks of monotony.
Some ways that I keep oral sex fresh include:
Making It About Me
Hearing what I do, seeing what I do, feeling what I do to a man is something that makes me aware of my power and proves to be the thing that turns me on. Although oral sex is a very selfless act, there is a way to be selfish in the midst of all of your giving. Pleasure yourself while you pleasure him. My vibrator is my best friend when it comes to sex toys, and I don't mind utilizing her on myself while I pleasure him. If not that, a hand can do the trick. Your partner's wandering hand as well…
Switching It Up
Do you like to do it on your knees? Between his legs? 69? What about a combination of all three? To thwart the feeling of monotony, I like to change it up every so often – be it in a small way by changing the way I stroke or how much of it I grant entry in at a time, or be it in a much larger way by changing positions altogether (which in my opinion isn't an action to be limited to actual intercourse). My all-time favorite go-to when my mouth is tired (particularly in the mornings), is to have him set the pace by treating your mouth as he would your vagina. Talk about a turn-on.
Being Open To Experimenting
Play with different textures and different temperatures. I had an ex once who loved the feel of lace against his base. I've found that the sensation of the warmth of a mouth versus the coolness of air, or even ice that you bring inside of bowl to your bedroom can prove to be an exhilarating feeling. Take a cube of ice into your mouth and run it up and down the length of him. He won't know what to think or feel with all of the sensations he's feeling. Also, don't be afraid to experiment with edibles; just be wary of what you allow to enter your body afterwards. Yeast infections know no bounds.
Playing With the Balls In My Court
There is a very tender part of the male anatomy that is often ignored. Leave his penis for a while and travel further down south. Lick the space in between them. Don't suck on them like you would his penis, but instead focus on purposeful tongue movements and gentle sucking. I like to compare it to our clitoris. Due to sensitivity, less is always more. The response will be immediate, you'll literally have him quaking for more.
How do you keep your oral sex life passionate and exciting?
- 7 Sex Pressure Points You Need To Know - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- Do Guys Like Going Down on Women? 7 Men Have the Answer ... ›
- Niecy Nash Says 'A BJ A Day Keeps The Divorce Lawyers Away ... ›
- How Long Should Oral Sex Last? - xoNecole: Women's Interest ... ›
- Best Blowjob Tips And Tricks - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Do Men Like Going Down On Women? - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Make Your Partner Better At Oral Sex - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & More www.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images