Dark & Lovely’s Latest It Girl LeToya Luckett Talks Finding the Beauty in Highs & Lows Of Life
When you think of LeToya Luckett's career journey, don't call it a comeback. Her glow up has continued well past her years as part of the original roster of Destiny's Child.
She reached the Billboard 200 with her solo debut back in 2006, and went platinum that same year. Her second solo album also made waves in 2009, and she went on to grab TV and film success, appearing on Starz's Rosewood, OWN's Greenleaf, HBO's Treme, and Starz's Single Ladies. (Who didn't love the savvy and shrewd Felicia Price, a music industry exec who held no punches, wore the sexiest suits, and had the one fly white chick on the show jumping through hoops?)
"If I find myself in a new position or situation outside of my comfort zone, I say 'Cool, God has me here for a reason.' So whatever it is, He's preparing me for something bigger and better," Luckett told xoNecole in an exclusive interview.
eOne Music
Luckett's now touring with the stage play version of cult classic, Set It Off, and she's become the new face of Dark & Lovely, a spot that's perfect for someone whose style transitions have been just as beautifully intriguing as those in her professional life---from songstress, to TV host, to actress and back again with styles that have inspired YouTube tutorials and hair magazine covers.
Dark & Lovely
"I feel that now, there's this cookie-cutter trend going on where it's like everybody with the same hairstyle---the same this, the same that. I want to continue to let women know that it's OK to be you. The things I love about the legends and icons---the Lena Hornes, the Dorothy Dandridges, the Diana Rosses---they were free to be themselves. I want to bring that back. Dark & Lovely has been around for generations. My grandfather uses the products and still does in his beauty salon and he's 80-plus years old. Women would come in dying their hair different colors and they were OK with it. They weren't so worried about what people had to say about them. I want to get back to that. Rock out however you want to."
"I want to get back to that. Rock out however you want to."
She is definitely walking the talk, having cut the long tresses--- so popular among today's successful film and reality TV stars--- for a short sassy 'do that helps to redefine what's beautiful among young black women already challenging the stereotypical standard.
Set It Off
Luckett redefines several other aspects of black womanhood in the roles she takes as well, and her latest is quite a twist from the sweet Southern belle we've seen in interviews and on Instagram.
"I think [being in Set It Off, the play] stretches me a bit. Vivica [Fox] did an amazing job playing Frankie, so much so that I would've tried to play Vivica instead of trying to be Frankie. I felt that if I want to do the character justice, I needed to go back in and think about it and get to know Frankie again. That's what I did. I have so much fun playing her, to know where she's coming from, to make the decision [she made]."
An everyday bank-teller-turned-bank-robber might be far from what people might relate to Luckett but this is one survivor who has taken professional and personal blows to the chin with grace and a smile.
Love & Happiness
In another experience that tested her fortitude and confidence, Luckett was fortunate enough to find love and remarry after a very public divorce from a mate who was a celebrity in his own right. (Her ex-husband, Rob Hill Sr., was once known as "The Heart Healer," and would often promote relationship and dating advice to a following of more than 400,000 on Instagram alone.) With her now-husband, Tommicus Walker, who she did not meet until months after dating over the phone, she decided to change the game again, choosing to let go of the pain of the past and release control to the only thing she knew more powerful than her own sheer determination and strength.
Related: LeToya Luckett Is Married & The Story of How They Met Is A Fairytale
"Faith played a huge role. It's the only way i was able to get through my divorce. I said, 'God I give this up to you and I'll be OK if hey, I leave this Earth and never marry again. God has done so many other great things for me in my life that I can't complain. God decided to give me a husband again, and I'm so grateful for what God has done for me."
"God decided to give me a husband again, and I'm so grateful for what God has done for me."
What's Next
For Luckett, the swaying of public opinion and the pressure of adhering to an Instagram-worthy facade of perfection are no match for authenticity.
"I remember as a kid, before I signed any record deals, before I did anything, music brought me so much joy. Singing brought me so much joy. I wasn't doing it for money or attention. I was doing it because it brought me joy, and I had a passion for it. You can't lose that in the politics of it all. It's easy to allow that stuff to taint your experience. You gotta remember the real reason you're doing it all. Find the joy in that. Don't make it so easy for people to easily steal your joy---especially with social media and people having opinions of you."
"You gotta remember the real reason you're doing it all. Find the joy in that."
From exiting DC---a pivotal part of her adolescence and teenage life--- to rebounding after heartache, to continuing to inspire all women to embrace their own unique Black girl magic, Luckett proves that the highs and lows of her life as vital parts of the journey.
"Sometimes we can be so afraid of change that it cripples us from getting where we need to be. I find the beauty in change and transition. For me, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be."
For more LeToya, be sure to follow her on Instagram.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images