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I Am Not The Paraphernalia Of My Past
The greatest gift I've given myself was the permission to surpass the barriers that were put in my way.
It's still an ongoing gift that I have to reopen every single day; it comes in the form of self care - writing notes on the mirror to remind myself exactly who I am, re-affirming my power, asserting myself in the spaces that water my soul but set my spirit on fire.
For a while, I settled with the idea of painting the walls and making home of the boxes I was placed in by others. People have told me that I'll never be able to accomplish all my goals because there were just too many; being a writer is all I'll ever amount to; I should take the easy route to my dreams if I really want to make it.
I moved in to the box they put me in and began to get comfortable with the small, suffocating room of others' projected opinions. I put on the wardrobes they created for me and it was only so long before I lost my own sense of self in the mass assortment of misplaced identities. Finding who I was through the eyes of others came at the cost of losing myself. Now, I am able to look outside of these cages and sing the song of my truth:
I know who I am and I do not fit inside of the cage of your limited vision.
They say that those around you that you can relate to are the mirrors you need to look into.
I see so much of myself in Cardi B's story - a woman who has consistently proven her abilities to break out of molds, and is still constantly being held down by others' tongues because they hold the chains to her past in their hands. At every turn, someone on the internet is holding up the paraphernalia of Cardi's past and trying to deceive her of her worth.
Cardi B just broke Beyonce's record for top singles in the charts - in the first year of her career - and yet, we can find an article or a comment trying to tear her down because of who she was on the early journey.
In little to no time, the rapper has also solidified herself as an entertainer, an influencer, and she is now breaking into the fashion industry with brand collaborations that are unheard of in the first year of someone's career.
Cardi's own rise has influenced my reflection of my own career and artistry. She's continued to break every mold that others have tried to shape her in. The way she rises to the occasion and still is herself is the true art of two-stepping out of the marginalizations that are created for you. Though still Cardi from the block, as her genuine essence remains true, it's not worth the disservice to discredit everything she has accomplished.
I am learning that the world will want to clothe you with their own perceptions of you, from their limited understanding of you or from the pieces of your past.
However, if we fill our closet with only the wardrobe of our own self-expression and self-affirming armor, then there will be no room for the fast-fashion of feeble opinions.
I am not only a writer, not someone who will be defined by my past, and definitely not a person who will take the easy way out because I'm a woman. On my journey, I've found that in the simple act of creating ourselves, on our own terms, we find ourselves simultaneously.
I've been able to forge my own signature on my journey by taking back the power of knowing exactly who I am and what I have to offer - and not watering down these things to fit the taste level of those around me. Deciding who you are for yourself is the only explaining you have to do.
As ever-evolving beings, as artists painting the picture of our own life, we are much more than meets the eye, and if we have to re-introduce ourselves each time we step into a room, that is the responsibility of the artist. To express who we are, and all of our multitudes, at the very core of our being, and in everything we do.
We are never our pasts, we are exactly always who we are now.
Olivia Jade is a writer and creative engineer, intersecting wellness, culture, womanism, and self-development. She waters the flowers in her mind so others can recognize their own internal garden. Link up: @akaoliviajade (Twitter and IG) oliviajade.co
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Shaunie Henderson Says Creating 'Basketball Wives' Was A 'Matter Of Survival'
Before Shaunie Henderson married Pastor Keion D. Henderson, she was married to NBA star Shaquille O'Neal, and they share six children. However, the former couple was officially divorced in May 2011, a year after the first season ofBasketball Wivespremiered. While the reality TV show, which chronicled the lives of women who were exes or current girlfriends/ wives of basketball players, had a lot of people tuned in, it also faced a lot of criticism. One of the criticisms was the portrayal of the women on the show who, at times, were fighting with each other.
However, in our exclusive interview with Shaunie, the Undefeated author said the show was created out of necessity.
"We just tend to tear our own people up for whatever reason. When I started Basketball Wives, it was really a matter of survival for me. I was in desperation mode. I needed the show to be successful because I had to figure out how I was going to live and provide a life for my children," she said. "Basketball Wives is a platform and it is a space for women to have the freedom to be and say and do what represents them. And what that is, is their decision, right? I just provided the platform for it to happen.
She also explained that she wanted to help other women financially by having a platform that will give them access to opportunities.
"I knew that I had lost my voice before, and I wanted to provide a space to ensure that other women didn’t lose theirs. Again, what they decided to do with the camera time and who they decided to show up as is on them, but here's the platform, and I think for many women, it has been just that. It’s boosted them into a space in their life where they're able to make money and branch out into other opportunities that they may not have had otherwise."
"I knew that I had lost my voice before, and I wanted to provide a space to ensure that other women didn’t lose theirs. Again, what they decided to do with the camera time and who they decided to show up as is on them, but here's the platform, and I think for many women, it has been just that. It’s boosted them into a space in their life where they're able to make money and branch out into other opportunities that they may not have had otherwise."
Basketball Wives: LA Cast. L-R: Jac'Eil Duckworth, Brooke Bailey, Jackie Christie, Shaunie Henderson, Evelyn Lozada, Jennifer Williams, and Brandi Maxiell
Photo by Robin L Marshall/Getty Images
One of Basketball Wives' most infamous moments was the fight that occurred between Evelyn Lozada and Tami Roman in the second season. While it was a very explosive scene, Shaunie revealed that behind the scenes, the following day, everything was copacetic. She recalled that moment and said it was one of her most cherished memories from the show.
"It was probably the day after the infamous fight between Tami Roman and Evelyn Lozada. Evelyn had coined the “non-mf factor” phrase, and production had broken up their fight the night before. Me and her were on the beach, and Tami called to see what I was up to. I told her I was with Evelyn, and she said she was coming to meet us," she said.
"I'm thinking I'm about to be in part two. There's no security, we were off for the day and I was sure it was about to be horrible. Tami gets there. She’s already got her cigarette lit, her bob is bouncing as she walks up to us, and I just remember her saying, ‘What y’all heffas doing?’ It was just like nothing had happened at all. It was like they fought, they got it out, and she was off to the next thing."
She added, "Those type of moments I wish people could experience and see that although things happen that seem outrageous, it’s all love. It doesn't always end up perfect. But for the most part, we have had a really, really good time."
Read more from the interview here.
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Feature image by Marcus Ingram/Getty Images