I don’t know about y’all, but this is definitely the time of year when a lot of people in my world sound like a hot ass mess. Since springtime is the season when trees, grass, and flowers like to show out (literally) as far as pollen goes, it’s pretty common for folks’ immune systems to go haywire in response to it.
Not only that but neighbors are walking their dogs more often (dander), bugs are making an appearance (eye roll), and dust mites and mold spores are kicking up due to all of the spring cleaning that is going on. All of this can lead to sneezing, watery eyes, an itchy and/or runny nose, coughing, headaches — and so many other bodily reactions that my crew would rather do without.
First, a quick tip: while there are polarizing studies on how effective local honey actually is (due to the pollen that’s in it, it can serve as somewhat of an all-natural antihistamine for the local allergens in your area), there are enough solid studies (like this one here) around to at least give it a try if you don’t want to fill your system up with a ton of allergy medication.
Okay, but what if it’s your vagina (I’m going to be speaking of it interchangeably with your vulva, by the way) who is currently going through it? If you’ve never even thought to consider that Ms. Thang down below can have reactions to certain allergens as well, take a few moments to check this article out. Trust me, “she” will thank you that you did.
The Word for a Vaginal Allergy Is Vulvitis. Now What Exactly IS That?
Getty Images
Something that oftentimes happens whenever an allergic reaction transpires is our body goes through some level of inflammation. Well, when our vaginas experience their version of an allergy, inflammation happens down there too. The technical word for it is vulvitis.
Vulvitis is what happens when the skin of your vulva (the outer parts of your vagina) ends up experiencing some level of inflammation (typically when your vagina’s pH level is thrown off) that can lead to irritation, swelling, itching, a shift in the type or amount of discharge, redness and sometimes even white patches and “scales.”
Although sometimes these symptoms can be due to things like an STD (which is why you should get tested every six months if you are sexually active), vaginal atrophy (due to menopause), eczema, or a yeast infection, oftentimes it’s due to common stuff that can be cleared up by making a few minor adjustments.
Now I will say that if it’s your first time experiencing these symptoms and/or you’re not exactly sure what the heck is going on, make an appointment with your physician ASAP. A urine and/or blood test will help to get to the root of the matter.
However, if you get a clean bill of health in those departments, your doctor may go through a process of elimination which will probably include the following seven things and how your vagina has been responding/reacting to them.
1. Fragrance-Based Body Wash
Getty Images
Body washes. Even though a lot of them smell absolutely divine, the reason why your vagina may not like them very much is that many contain chemicals that can definitely cause your vagina’s pH balance to go haywire.
Does this mean that you can’t or shouldn’t use anything that could help to make your vulva smell better? Not exactly. The key is to find products that are as natural as possible, along with one that will cater to your vulva’s sensitive skin.
Treatment: As far as commercial brands of cleansers go, Healthline’s “The 11 Best Vaginal Soaps and Cleansers Approved by Gynecologists” and Cosmo’s “14 Best Feminine Washes, According to a Gynecologist” can help to point you to the right direction. If you’d prefer to make your own body wash, I’ve got you covered on that tip too. Check out our article, “Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes,” and, as far as tips on which great-smelling essential oils are also pretty vulva-friendly, also read “10 Essential Oils That Are Great For Feminine Hygiene (And A Few Other Things).”
2. Period Products
Getty Images
If there’s one thing that we can’t avoid, it’s our period (lawd, lawd). And while typically, vaginal irritation that comes from tampons is due to them remaining inside of you too long and pads are due to not changing them enough, some brands also contain chemicals that can be “vaginally triggering.”
Treatment: That’s why it’s always best to go with tampons and pads that are fragrance-free (especially if you have uber-sensitive skin). Or you can go with brands that are organic (a list of tampon suggestions is located here, and a list of organic pad options is here).
While we’re at this portion of the program, if you used to be a Honey Pot supporter but you never got down to the truth about where the company stands between being Black-founded vs. Black-owned (now), AfroTech (which is a great Black business news site) covered that around this time last year: “Did Beatrice Dixon Sell The Honey Pot Company? — Co-Founder Responds After Social Media Goes Into A Frenzy.” I’ve got friends who still use it and are huge fans. Anyway, just make sure you check the article out before making a final call — either direction.
3. Skinny Jeans
Getty Images
Although all that I listed here are skinny jeans, anything that’s so tight that it causes a lot of friction and keeps your vulva from breathing can qualify, including thongs, synthetic underwear, spandex workout clothes (especially if you don’t take them off immediately after your exercise session) and wet swimsuits.
Treatment: If you’re like, “I hear you, but I’m gonna keep the tight stuff anyway,” at least make sure to take them off as soon as you get home and make it a practice to sleep naked as much as possible so that your vulva can get a break. Also, cotton underwear is better than synthetic; at least compromise in that department, please.
4. Condoms
Getty Images
If a guy tells you that he doesn’t wear latex condoms because he’s allergic to them, while it might initially sound like game (and might be), it’s actually not a ridiculous notion (although stats still say that it’s lower than 10 percent).
So, how do you know if condoms could be the reason why your vagina is acting up (i.e., itching, swelling up, feeling dry during or after sex, and sometimes even hives or a runny nose?)? If your vagina is just fine until a condom enters you or until you are done having sex, that’s a pretty solid indication.
Treatment: Does this mean that you have to go raw? Unless you’re in a committed, long-term, monogamous relationship, please don’t. Thankfully, there are other kinds of rubbers that will get the job done. Polyurethane is a type of plastic that serves as a great latex alternative. So does polyisoprene, which is made from a synthetic polymer (it is more expensive, though; just an FYI). Then there’s the throwback, lambskin; although, because their spores are larger than other condoms, they’re not as great as the other options when it comes to preventing STD transmission.
As far as some of the best non-latex options that are currently on the market, you can do some of your own research by going here, here, and here.
Oh, and while we’re on this topic, it’s not unheard of to be allergic to spermicide, either. And while you should run this suggestion by your doctor before trying it, there is a vegan kind of spermicide that some people are fond of. It’s called ContraGel. You can read more about it here, and Walmart sells it here.
5. Certain Types of Bedding
Getty Images
Believe it or not, something else that can bother your vagina is your bedding. One, because you might be using a laundry detergent that’s too harsh for it. Or it could be that the bedding you’ve chosen doesn’t breathe enough (especially if you’re someone who happens to sleep naked). Fabrics like polyester and rayon may be cheaper as far as your sheets are concerned, but they also trap in heat more which can cause you to sweat, which could trigger a yeast infection.
Treatment: When it comes to the laundry issue, look for the kind that is either eco-friendly or specifically made for sensitive skin (both contain a lot less chemicals). Another route that you could take is you can make some of your own; some recipes are located here, here, and here. Also, your bedding will feel cooler if you go with something along the lines of organic cotton, silk, or bamboo.
6. Sweets
Getty Images
Something that your vagina contains is bacteria — some good, some bad. Usually, your vagina’s pH keeps the bad bacteria in check; however, when you consume too much sweet stuff, that can suppress your immunity and cause bad bacteria to take over, which could result in vaginal inflammation and a full-on yeast infection.
Not only that, but if you don’t get your sugar consumption under control (check out “Ever Wonder If You've Got A Low-Key Sugar Addiction?”), you could end up with a chronic yeast infection because just like your taste buds really like sugar, so does yeast. That’s why it’s a good idea to consume sweets in moderation. Many researchers say that men should have no more than nine teaspoons of sugar a day and women should have no more than six.
Treatment: As for how to deal with the sugar that may have already “taken over” your body — I’m pretty sure you know what needs to happen. A temporary detox can do wonders at restoring the balance in your system. So can reducing your intake of fast food, processed foods, and white foods like white pasta, white bread, and of course, white sugar.
7. Sperm/Semen
Getty Images
This one is interesting because, yes, there are some people who are allergic to sperm/semen (the fluid that carries sperm). However, what is more common is your vagina/vulva needing some time to get used to new sperm if you’ve recently switched to a new partner (a new partner can temporarily change the way that your vagina smells too).
That said if you do notice that after the first few times of engaging in unprotected sex with a new guy, your vagina is still itching and/or burning and/or swelling up (kind of like a yeast infection minus the thick discharge), it could be that you’re experiencing what is technically known as seminal plasma hypersensitivity; it’s when your body does not respond well to the proteins that are in someone’s sperm/semen.
Treatment: Even if you mildly suspect that you’ve got a sperm/semen allergy, you shouldn’t self-diagnose it; ask your physician. If they confirm it, they might recommend that you use condoms more often or even that you take an antihistamine (no joke) about an hour before coming into contact with sperm. Sometimes having an EpiPen nearby can help matters too.
___
There’s no way around the fact that your body having an allergic reaction to something can suck because the symptoms are typically super unpleasant. Just make sure that if what’s bothering you is your vagina (or your vulva), you don’t ignore it. A reaction is letting you know that something isn’t quite right. Hopefully, now you know what needs to be done in order to fix it.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by IRINA KROLEVETC/Getty Images
RELATED
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock