Usher Explains Why Being Single Was 'The Hardest Thing That I've Ever Had To Do'
Veteran singer Usher Raymond candidly reflects on the challenges he endured following his failed relationships and reveals the steps he took to become a better person and partner.
Over the years, Raymond, who has been in the music industry for nearly three decades, has reportedly had high-profile relationships with TLC's Rozanda "Chilli" Thomas, fashion stylist Tameka Foster, and talent manager Grace Miguel. Since then, the 44-year-old has been dating music executive Jenn Goicoechea, and the couple welcomed two children together in their blended family. At the same time, the "Glu" crooner shares two sons with ex-wife Tameka Foster.
In the August digital cover of Vibe Magazine, Raymond opened up about why remaining single was challenging and how therapy helped him heal childhood traumas.
Usher On Why Remaining Single Was Difficult
In the discussion, the "U Got It Bad" songster revealed that he found remaining single after a breakup difficult because he had envisioned himself "creating a life with someone" despite having his fair share of heartbreaks.
"I think the hardest thing that I've ever had to do was be single," he told the publication. "Because I don't like to be alone. The idea of creating a life with someone is what I would like to do, maybe because I didn't have or didn't see that. And I get to remedy that idea by having an incredible partnership. I can then have the thing that I ultimately wanted to see. You know what I'm saying?"
Usher
Photo by Arturo Holmes/MG23/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue
Usher on Therapy
When the topic shifted to Raymond's current relationship and why it's been more fulfilling compared to his other unions, the "There Goes My Baby" singer credited attending therapy as a fundamental part of his healing journey.
Raymond added that going to therapy helped him uncover why singleness and the need to be in a relationship stemmed from the hardships he experienced as a child having an estranged relationship with his late father, Usher Raymond III.
"Man, healing took a lot," he said when describing why his relationship with Goicoechea has been successful.
"Maybe I was suffering a lot from—just maybe not necessarily having the kind of love that I would've wanted as a kid. And wanting to figure out what that was all about. I didn't have that relationship that I would've wanted to have with my father. And that the relationship that I had with my mother was slowly beginning to be under pressure. Because one, we were working together. Two, we had our differences. Three, I was getting older, but I think it was just life lessons. The therapy really did help me be able to be by myself."
Raymond’s recent admission about healing from past traumas can help inspire others to face their challenges head-on.
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Lizzo Shares Her Views On The Evolution Of 'Body Positivity' Amid Weight Loss Journey
Singer Lizzo is no stranger to transparency when it comes to body image – and as of late, the “Truth Hurts” artist is taking on a new outlook towards the body positivity movement.
In an interview with the New York Times, Lizzo, 35, is discussing her views on the evolution of the popular term, amidst her recent weight loss journey, shifting her focus towards "body neutrality."
“The idea of body positivity, it’s moved away from the antiquated mainstream conception,” she told the publication. “It’s evolved into body neutrality.”
For decades, the body positivity movement has embodied the stance of self-acceptance that advocates for all body types, no matter the size, skin color, shape, or physical abilities. With the rise of social media, the movement took on a new form, encouraging more visibility and representation while challenging beauty standards.
As of late, body neutrality has been embraced as a new approach that puts acceptance and perspective back in the eyes of the beholder. According to Butterfly.org, “Body neutrality suggests that a body is simply a vessel that carries us through life, and is never the most important thing about us,” – neither seen as negative or positive, but simply what we use to live our lives.
Still, Lizzo maintains a confident stance on her body image, although she admits, it wavers from time to time. “I’m not going to lie and say I love my body every day,” she shares. “The bottom line is, the way you feel about your body changes every single day.”
She continued, “There are some days I adore my body, and others when I don’t feel completely positive.”
In 2020, the Yitty founder spoke to Vogue about her aim to redefine what body positivity means to her and in a wider context. “I think it’s lazy for me to just say I’m body positive at this point,” she said. “It’s easy. I would like to be body-normative. I want to normalize my body.”
Lizzo is taking her weight loss and self-care journey one day at a time, by prioritizing her health and exercise through activities like walking and Pilates. “I’m taking the time every day to put some love into my body,” she said. “There is never a day when I regret taking a walk or doing some Pilates.”
She continues, “I’ve been methodical, losing weight very slowly.”
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Featured image by Jamie McCarthy/WireImage