
Exclusive: Spice Opens Up About Life Behind The Scenes And Reflects On 25-Year Career

Grace "Spice" Hamilton is a Grammy-nominated artist who has been dubbed “The Queen of Dancehall.” She’s also the first Jamaican female dancehall artist in her genre to reach one billion views on YouTube collectively. Her 25-year-long career encompasses many milestones, and she continues to work daily to grow and diversify her legacy. Whether you love her for the bold personality that she shows as a castmate on Love and Hip Hop: Atlanta, her feel-good party music, or her beauty and fashion influence – she’s someone whose presence is magnetic.
But Spice the person is very different from what fans and supporters experience. When asked what readers may be surprised to learn about her she said: that she’s a homebody, likes to throw down in the kitchen, and that she’s a Christian who takes her worship seriously. During this convo, she gave us a glimpse into her life and background in her career journey that audiences may not always get to see on TV or on social media. Check out the exclusive conversation with xoNecole below.
xoNecole: When you’re not on-camera or performing, what does your life look like?
Spice: When I do get a few days off, it normally goes to my kids. I try to dedicate all my free time to being a mother, which is me taking the wigs off, pulling out my natural hair, cooking, and being with them – just having regular days. The days I can be Grace Hamilton are my best and most fun times. That’s also what I love about my artistry. My fans know when I have blue hair, I'm being Spice. But when they see the black hair, they know I probably just want to be a mother and be alone.
xoN: Balance is important, especially for a twenty-five-year career. Can you talk to me about your evolution as an artist? What lessons have you learned?
Spice: I’ve learned that consistency is the key to success. I feel like that’s why I’m relevant to this day. Being in a male-dominated business from 1999 to now is nothing but consistency and hard work. Also, just having faith in God and knowing that He will deliver me. I’ve learned that losses are lessons. Sometimes things happen in your life for a reason. You just have to learn from them, pick up the pieces, and move on. That’s why I called the album MIRROR 25. I've been doing a lot of reflection of all the things that I‘ve overcome – things like heartache, betrayal, music industry struggles, colorism, and more. So when I look in the mirror, I definitely do a lot of self-reflection and self-healing. Twenty-five years hasn’t been a walk in the park, and now I have a lot to celebrate.
"Sometimes things happen in your life for a reason. You just have to learn from them, pick up the pieces, and move on. That’s why I called the album MIRROR 25. I've been doing a lot of reflection of all the things that I‘ve overcome – things like heartache, betrayal, music industry struggles, colorism, and more."
xoN: During that self-reflection period is there anything new you’ve learned about yourself, negative or positive? Would you mind sharing those reflections?
Spice: The good thing I’ve learned is that I’m a warrior. I feel like I’m very strong – it doesn’t matter what’s going on. I defeated a lot of naysayers who didn’t think I’d make it this far. The bad thing I’ve learned is that I allow myself to be caught in the trap of the naysayers. Sometimes, people will literally come up to provoke you, and I’ve always been the one to fall in the trap. It’s like people say something, and I just have to defend myself. I need to realize that with fame, that just comes with it.
Photo by Mackinley Madhere from Spex Photography
xoN: Also, I wanna address one of the issues you touched on earlier. You mentioned colorism. I’m in my 30s, and I still meet women my age who feel uncomfortable with their skin complexion. If you could give a piece of advice to women like that who struggle with self-confidence due to colorism, what would you say?
Spice: I’d say, if I can make it, so can you. I remember when people would make me feel like I had to bleach my skin to appear to be lighter and have a certain image. When I did "Colorism" back in 2018 and appeared to be lighter, it was because of conversations like this. I wanted to remind girls that look like me that they too can make it big in Hollywood.
xoN: Okay, let’s get a bit into the new project. How do you hope this album makes women feel?
Spice: I hope it makes them feel happy and accepted. I want them to live in their truth. It doesn’t matter their size or race. I just want people to hear my music and just want to dance and have fun. And most of my music is like that, where it just brings good energy and lets people know it’s time to dance and have fun.
"I hope it makes them feel happy and accepted. I want them to live in their truth. It doesn’t matter their size or race. I just want people to hear my music and just want to dance and have fun. And most of my music is like that, where it just brings good energy and lets people know it’s time to dance and have fun."
xoN: There’s a lot of vulnerability on this album. What were your emotions like when you put everything out?
Spice: I had mixed feelings because I’ve been in the business for 25 years. I know how people receive certain things, but I also didn’t want the controversy to overshadow the message. In the "2085 Tea," I dressed like an older person talking to my younger self. Even though the song is controversial, it’s real-life experiences. These are things that happened to me and I overcame, and I know there's a lot of women that go through similar stuff, and I wanted to remind them that we’re all human. But people who were parts of my past are gonna come out and vocally express I didn't have to reflect on that, but who are they to reflect on my past?
xoN: Generally, is it important to you to set the record straight on conversations related to yourself or do you prefer to just let people think whatever they want?
Spice: I’m my own voice. A lot of times, fans feel like I’m bigger than answering. But I don’t feel that way. I’m a human first, and if someone paints a picture of me that’s not true, then I need to be open and honest with my fans so they hear my side of my story. I’ve worked hard for 25 years to build a brand, and I can’t just allow someone to tarnish my reputation. So unfortunately, I’m someone who will come out and voice my opinion on things that aren’t true.
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Feature image by Mackinley Madhere from Spex Photography
'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Women Are (Still) Spelling 'Coconut' With Their Hips. And Guys Are Losing Their Damn Minds.
While prepping for a podcast interview a while back, because I received the questions beforehand, I did a bit of research into one of the inquiries: what are men’s current favorite sex positions? I doubt any of you are shocked by the fact that what continued to pop up (like here, here, and here) was doggy style and the cowgirl position (i.e., when a woman is on top).
When it comes to ridin’, specifically, that got me to thinking about something that was all over the internet a few years ago: women who were advising that you spell “coconut” with your hips, during sex, in order for you and your partner to receive maximum pleasure and satisfaction.
When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
From grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
A part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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Featured image by Giphy