As I write this, it is day 52 of sexlessness and your girl is still learning how to deal. In the past, I've gone into dry spells seeking refuge to reconnect with myself, to detox, and to reset. The difference between now and then? Then, I wasn't interested in having sex with anyone. Now? I'm hella interested in one someone in particular, and I'm counting down the days until our bodies meet. I'm refraining from pleasure for the delayed gratification that I know is coming for me (and cumming for me). And I know, it's going to be so delicious.
Why am I going into detail about any of this? Well xoTribe, let me tell you, the struggle is real.
Everything about sex is intriguing me more than it should. I find myself fantasizing about throwing that ass in a circle for just about anyone whose smile I can get lost in enough. And don't get me started on my late-night (and sometimes midday) vibrator rendezvous. My mind constantly wanders to sex, so much so, texts and talks with bae become X-rated extended foreplay sessions in 60 seconds or less. Plus, my sending nudes game is on lock.
In addition to thinking about the sex I'm not having and quelling a libido that could rival a teenager's inner war of hormones, I decided to think about the sex I want to have. On my quest to constantly try new and varied sex positions, I've done a little research. If you're looking for new ones to add to your must-hit list, look no further:
The Scissor
In case you weren't aware, the scissor sex position can be an amazing option for those of us with vaginas to achieve orgasm. (Don't believe me? Check out this article here.) Word on the street, it's quite the orgasmic experience for all parties involved. As its name suggests, you and your partner will create a "scissors" formation.
The receiving partner will lie on their side, with their other leg on top of that one. They will then raise their leg for the penetrative partner to gain access to the vagina or anus. The penetrative partner will lie down too but in the other direction with their head towards the receiving partner's feet. Their legs will end up inter-crossed between each other's bodies, and all the penetrative partner has to do is thrust.
The Amazon
The Amazon sex position turns the woman on top style up a notch. Recommended for more "fit" couples, this position can prove to be slightly difficult. But if you get it right, the dominance and penetration you feel on top is so worth it.
The penetrative partner will be on their back with their legs pulled toward their chest. The receiving partner will squat on top of the penetrative partner, resting on the back of their partner's legs. The receiving partner can either kneel or stand up, depending on where the penetrative partner is positioned.
The Three-Legged Dog
The Three-Legged Dog is a standing sex position that works well because it allows for shallow penetration and alleviates the penetrative partner from having to hold the receiving partner's full weight. That being said, it's perfect for both anal or vaginal penetration. It's also great if you want to switch up the routine couch- and bed-centric coitus.
In order to get into this position, the receiving partner will stand in front of the penetrative partner and lift their leg at their partner's waist. The penetrative partner will hold that leg with one hand and use the other to increase the receiving partner's stability as they position their penis or their dildo to make shallow thrusts into their vagina or anus.
The Banana Split
I'm not going to lie to you, I enjoy missionary and its many variations most, but there's something about hit-it-from-the-back positions that just, well, hit different. The Banana Split is the newest entry on my must-hit list, and with good reason.
While the receiving partner is on their belly with their head down, the penetrative partner will hold them up by the waist at their hips and and thrust them from behind. The position allows for deeper penetration during the sex act and, helps more easily facilitate butt play. If you're more on the flexible side, you can show off by putting your legs in spread eagle position, hence the tongue-in-cheek name "banana split." For those of us not so with it, bend your knees so that your feet (and toes) point toward the ceiling. Position accomplished.
Sidebar: If you're a G-spot orgasm enthusiast, this variation might also do wonders for your sex life.
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
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