I'll show you how to do this hun!
From her role as Lakeisha in Starz's hit show Power, to her Motives Cosmetics line - La La is making major moves in the game and it's all well deserved. Starting from the bottom working for free, she credits her experiences as an intern for helping her get her foot through the door and successfully working her way up the entertainment ladder.
Over the years she's dished on some important and "powerful" tips for women hoping to reach a certain level of success that we want to share. Grab a paper and pen!
1. The Power of Distractions: Be Careful!
A lot of times with the people I talk to, we let our circumstances- how we grew up, our families, the guys in our lives, the girls in our lives- dictate where our life goes instead of finding our own power.
I don't think there is one blueprint that anyone could follow but I do think everyone has to figure out what their path is. We all have the power to be great and most of us just don't know it and don't know how to access it.
[Tweet "We all have the power to be great and most of us just don't know it - @lala"]
2. The Power of Having Your Own
(Not Every Successful Woman with a Baller is "Sponsored" (She Didn't Even Want to Date Carmelo at First)
DJ Clue introduced [me and Carmelo]. He was like, 'Yo, my mans been watching you on TV and this and that. Yeah, Carmelo Anthony.' And I was just like- what? Nah. I'm not going to mess around with a basketball player.
But I just felt like they just come with such a stigma and I didn't want that.
My life didn't start like that (with money). My life started from having nothing and just building from there. I didn't come from a family with money, I didn't come from a family in the entertainment business. Nobody knew, my mom was like 'Wait, what? You're going to do what on the radio?' Nobody knew what that was. I worked my way up.
I think I have a different respect for [success] now because I literally had to work radio, then TV, then acting and each thing just to become great at it.
3. The Power in Working for Opportunity (AKA for free!):
[Interning was] very powerful for myself and Ludacris. We started as intern (in radio) s and we worked for free and had to do every and anything and it just helped us be disciplined from where we're at now in life. So if you look at me and Luda, we're always 
on time because we learned that from being interns that we apply now in our careers and stuff.
In the beginning, I was like, 'You're really going to give this radio career up to be a rapper?' It's not that I didn't think his raps weren't good but it's like, we had a good thing going [as radio hosts]. And he was literally saying he is getting in his car and selling his CDs out the trunk of his car. And I was like, 'Yo, you're going to give this job up to do [rapping]?' But I think he made the right decision."
I think power is finding something you love and going after it. [That's] powerful. I don't think money or status is powerful. Getting up and doing something you love every day is powerful. Doing something for others is powerful. It's not about having the most money and cars- I don't equate that
with power.
[Tweet "I don't think money or status is powerful. Power is finding something you love and going after it."]
Related Post: La La Anthony's Friendship With An 11-Year Old Battling A Brain Injury Is Inspiring
4. The Power in Failing: "It's OK. I fail a lot."
I don't have the perfect life... In the acting world, I fail a lot because I go on auditions and I don't get the job but I work so hard. For a lot of people, acting comes naturally. For me, I had to learn acting and learn how to be good at it. It wasn't just a natural thing for me. So auditioning, not getting the job, yeah, that's a sense of failure. You're going out there, you're putting yourself out there and then you are getting told no, you're not right for whatever reason. It's a letdown but I just gotta keep pushing forward and trying.
Last night, while everyone was chilling, I was in an acting workshop from 5pm until 9:30pm. Working, learning and people don't know that, that is what I'm doing in my spare time. I'm just trying to continue to grow.
I went out for Barbershop 3 and I really wanted that one because it felt like it could've been a great movie. I love Malcolm Lee and I always wanted to work with him. I got really close and when I didn't get that, you're disappointed. But you wish everybody the best and you have to believe what is for you is for you, and what's for somebody else is for somebody else. I was doing weaves and stuff. I liked it. I liked the role. But I'm sure the movie is going to be great [still].
5. The Power of Submission
She Learned the Hard Way To Submit to A Man
It is hard but I had to teach myself that you have to do that sometimes.
There is such thing as being "too independent" and I see that with a lot of women that I'm around that are successful and have careers, like you want to wear the pants in a sense and you can't take that from your man or take that from whoever you're dating and I had to learn that.
I think you should be submissive at times to any man that you respect. If you respect him, then you have to let him 'be the man' at different times. Now if you don't respect him, you can [play] him all day. That's a whole different thing. But if you respect him then you kind of have to know when to fall back.
[Tweet "You should be submissive at times to any man that you respect. You have to let him 'be the man'."]
6. The Power of Pacing: You Have to be Careful Not to Overwork- "I almost had a breakdown"
Sometimes I overdo it and I don't think about myself and I just think about my family...I started to feel like I was about to break down. I have to remind myself that I have to take care of me too. Because if I'm not good, I'm not going to be good for work, for Kiyan for Mel. So I have to keep it in perspective because I'm such a workaholic that sometimes I go overboard.
7.The Natural Born Power: All Women Have It!
P***y is power. I'm just saying. I wrote a book called 'The Power Playbook.' It's just unfortunate that most women don't understand that and don't know how to use it to get the power.
8. The Power of Self-Esteem
That is women in general. It's a constant struggle to try and keep everything together and I think all women go through that in different ways.
I just want to feel good about myself. I know when I'm falling off. I fell off the bandwagon for a little while so I'm starting a new program. I'm a chocolate fanatic and I like cheap chocolate like Kit Kats and Nestle Crunch.
So many gems!! Check out the full interview.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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