4 Misconceptions About Starting A Yoga Practice
I started doing yoga in 2014 because my then husband told me I had to be more active.
Having been injured in the Army, I wasn't going to do anything high intensity – I hate running and I'm not a fan of burpees (they are the devil, I'm certain). I worked a high stress corporate job so I had back issues from sitting all day and stress levels from all the bullshit that corporate jobs bring. Yoga offered me a few things I needed – to open up physically, mentally, and emotionally.
So, I started. And I haven't stopped.
Yoga taught me that there's no such thing as "can't." It taught me how to be patient with myself. It taught me how to get back to me. Yoga taught me to breathe again. Yes, I breathe everyday, we all do. But there is a difference in breathing the shallow breaths we breathe everyday due to stress and anxiety and taking a moment to really breathe. Take a second right now – breathe in through your nose with your mouth closed and fill your entire body and then exhale through your nose, mouth closed. Do that a couple of times. That in itself is pranayama. It's yoga. Teaching you how to breathe and open your soul up, as well as your body.
Once you get started, keeping it going is easier than you might think. Through the months and years I've been doing it, so many of my friends have come to me, "Girl I need to get like you. I've been wanting to try yoga but (insert reason they can't do it here)." Yoga has been transformative to my life and spirit and I wholeheartedly believe it's something that anyone could embrace, despite the misperceptions surrounding it. Below, I debunk some of the most common misconceptions out there about yoga practice.
I can't afford going to the yoga studio.
I started at home and after four years, STILL have a home practice. I started out with 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening, and now try to do at least 45 minutes to one hour. I found yoga teachers/channels that I like and discover new ones everyday. Some of my favorites are: Cole Chance yoga, Flow with Adee, Yoga with Adriene, Leslie Fightmaster, and Yoga by Candace. If you can't find a specific yoga teacher, you can always type in "beginner yoga" or "gentle yoga," and find classes/teachers that are more your pace. All for free.
I don't have time/anyone to watch my kids.
With a home practice, you can make the time and don't need childcare. You may have to get up a little earlier in the morning or go to bed a little later; however, as with anything else, if you are committed to doing something, you will make the time. There are online yoga practices as short as five minutes long. Even if you feel you don't have time, you can always take five minutes for yourself.
I have (insert injury/illness here).
You're always going to want to consult your doctor before starting any exercise regimen; however, there aren't that many ailments that you can't do with yoga or that yoga won't alleviate. Many physical, mental, and emotional issues that you have are caused by busy lifestyles, including sitting at a desk 8-12 hours per day (back issues, stress, depression), or being on your feet all day (arthritis, foot pain, stress). You can find yoga practices that cater specifically to your needs: "Yoga for office workers" for example, or your specific ailment. There are plenty tutorials and practices out there for stress and depression, arthritis, digestive issues, heart issues, etc. Yoga isn't just for fat burning or belly/ab work, although it can do that. No matter your situation, yoga is flexible enough (see what I did there?) to meet your needs.
Girl, I am NOT a pretzel/I can't do that.
Girl, yes you can. You are always encouraged to go at YOUR pace. It doesn't matter what the teacher is doing. You can't touch your toes? Don't worry about that – go as far as YOU can but just keep going. If you are consistent, you will see over time that you are able to do a little more than before. One day, you might be a pretzel and didn't even realize you got there. Or maybe you'll never be one but you will still be able to reap the rewards of having a more open body and mind. The little victories – being able to touch your toes, alleviating your back pain before/after work, sleeping better, feeling good about yourself for accomplishing your goals – are just as important as the big ones (i.e. getting a promotion, winning the lottery, finding that perfect man). Either way, you're winning.
With all of this being said, let me be the first to tell you I'm not perfect.
Some days, I don't want to do yoga and don't. Sometimes for days. But I always come back to my mat because that is where I find my peace and reset my pace. I have never finished a yoga practice and regretted it, and that motivates me to continue to cultivate my practice on a daily basis. Eventually, I want to become certified to teach yoga, as I do see an opportunity for more women of color to be present/in the forefront of the opportunities yoga affords. However, I am comforted in the fact that yoga sees no race, gender, religion, creed, etc.
It isn't about who is next to, or in front of me – it's about me. It's about that moment where I take my deepest breath of the day and remember who I am – strong, confident, beautiful, love. In that moment, I am living my best life and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Featured image by bruce mars on Unsplash
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is a mother, writer, yogi, Scorpio and has good hair but is NOT Becky by any means. By day, she pushes paper, but by night, she unleashes her superpower: using her words.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
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THE ITGIRL MEMO
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III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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