As society progresses and women balance being the nurturers of the home with being breadwinners, business owners, soccer moms, and overall modern day renaissance women, we find ourselves challenging the status quo - daring to go after it all.
There are the groups that point fingers and shame women for having the audacity to put our dreams at the forefront of our lives. And then there is our own internal mom guilt/wife guilt that arises every now and then if we dare sacrifice a weekend with the kids for a few days away to regroup so that we can operate at our best highest selves.
Despite the unique challenges that might come with doing it all, nowadays women are mastering the art of having it all and redefining what it means to be a working mom. Here's how these 4 boss women have managed to maneuver the balancing act of having it all with self-care and grace.
Rainbow Barris - @tharealrainbow
Rainbow Barris is the author of Keeping Up With the Johnsons: Bows guide to Black-ish parenting and wife to the creator of the widely-received Black-ish. She is an advocate for women pursuing their dreams and emphasizes that "all" looks different every woman.
"The idea of having 'it all' should not be prescribed or defined by anyone, especially a man, except by the woman who has it all."
Black-ish depicts the story of the mom that thrives professionally, while her home life slips through the cracks. It's a delicate balance that Rainbow has managed to get better at over recent years, as a mother of six, a doctor, and now a best-selling author. The key is to not give in to the fear of emulating perfection and allowing room for error as well as self-forgiveness.
Rainbow shared with us how she handles mommy guilt, and says it a recurrent chapter in her life. While she recognizes the positive effects of guilt in small doses, such as providing strength, compassion, and a safe place of vulnerability, she highlights that too much time spent wallowing in it is unhealthy. "We must accept guilt only long enough for it to help. A lot of juggling is preparation, thinking ahead about myself, my family, and how to best navigate a situation or my days."
For more Rainbow, follow her on Instagram @tharealrainbow.
Makini Smith - @therealmakinismith
Makini Smith is a published author of A Walk in My Stilettos, life coach, and mother of 4 who believes women can have it all to some degree. Makini advocates that being happy and whole with self, family, career, and relationships is possible.
"It does take some kind of foundational grounding. For me, that's my faith. It's helped me to manifest what I feel I deserve as a woman. No one's life is perfect but we can strive for perfection. Being self-aware yet understanding that I'm a work in progress, having children that are my WHY even though they drive me crazy at times, walking in my purpose impacting lives, and being in a relationship with a man that has shown me what true sacrificial love feels like I have it all. Enough to know it IS possible."
Makini says that "balance is a myth at times" but she believes she has found the secret formula:
Faith + Family + Finances + Fun (Friends) = Balance.
Self-care to some is just as foreign a topic as women having it all, but Makini Smith doesn't believe in being a part of team no sleep. She acknowledges the role that it plays in her ability to get things done and operate as her best possible self. She has begun a much healthier journey and is more conscious of what she consumes.
"I take spa days, moments where I unplug from the world, especially social media. If I don't get enough food, sleep, relaxation, and laughter, I'm no good for my family or my business."
Take a walk in Makini's stillettos by following her on Instagram @therealmakinismith.
Rachel Gilder - @i_amrachelg
Rachel Gilder is a Self-Love and Relationship Expert, and recently transitioned from single mom to fiancée. For Rachel, having it all is about going after it all and that it's rooted in choice.
"I believe that women can have it all and there is absolutely nothing women can't do. Women can carry another life, nurture another life, motivate others, inspire, empower, educate, and lead others. Women do this and more, all while having the ability to selflessly put herself last."
Rachel refuses to start her day without devotionals, which allows her to maintain a healthy balance between her personal and professional life. The part of her day devoted to business is spent helping people heal and learn to love again through relationship coaching. She does a ton of soul-taxing work daily, so strategically planning is an integral part of her business.
When asked if she ever worries about missing out on milestones, Rachel says her fiancé and children love to support her as she follows her own dreams. In the past, she would plan her travel around when her boys were with their father but everything has changed now that she's planning to wed the love of her life in a few months. Graduations, birthdays, and major accomplishments are non-negotiable and she never misses out on those.
"My kids will never have their moments in life again and clarity begins at home. I must say I have been grateful to schedule my career around or with my family."
See more of Rachel by following her on Instagram @i_amrachelg.
Kim Scott - @kimmasononline
Kim Mason is a full-time work from home mom of 4 in the Network Marketing Industry. Kim definitely believes that women can have it all but admits it is no easy feat. She goes on to point out that there are so many moving pieces when it comes to marriage, family life, and a career. Kim lets us in on her secrets to flourishing at home, in business, and in love.
"In order for your love life to survive, you both have to be on the same page. He has to understand and respect your vision, drive to succeed, and be your biggest cheerleader without questioning his own manhood. Next, there is family. There will be seasons that you are just all-out busier than what is normal for you. You will need to communicate that and get your family to buy in to what your lives may look like and why. Share your WHY with them and take your goals and vision from an 'I' thing to a 'WE' thing. Everyone will have to sacrifice more during this time and be willing to extend a lot of grace. Discuss what that will look like and what you will need from them. Lastly, make clear days and times where you are totally available to them so when you are busy they have something to look forward to (ie. date night, Sunday dinners, family day etc)."
"You will need to communicate that and get your family to buy in to what your lives may look like and why. Share your WHY with them and take your goals and vision from an 'I' thing to a 'WE' thing."
Where work or business are concerned, Kim advises us to GO HARD during the time that has been allotted for work and set time boundaries. In a counseling session years ago, Kim's counselor suggested that Kim be the CEO in her own home. She began to implement a budget, weekly dinner menus, chore charts, and ordering toiletries and commonly used items to her front door. She admits that she does still get off track sometimes but is sure to add "most of us will." Give yourself some grace, grace, and more grace, and then go back to your plan.
Self-care seems to be a mandatory component to running the show with grace and we asked Kim what that looks like for her. Kim emphasizes how inconvenient burnout is and strays far from the "no days off" bunch. Like the other ladies interviewed, her day begins with faith and self-development. One hour each week is devoted to brainless activities. And the remainder of her free time is devoted to her children, weekly 8-mile walks, and laughing until herself and the kiddies are in tears. "I am HUGE on self-care. I do entirely too much and too many people rely on me [so I can't afford] to burnout."
Keep up with Kim on Instagram @kimmasononline.
Featured image of Rainbow by Paley Fairman/MyDomaine