Most of the time, we don't recognize burnout until it's too late.
By the time we realize we're unmotivated or depleted, it's already in takeover mode in multiple areas of our lives and we're ready to snap on anyone in our path, if we haven't already. Despite how it might feel, burnout doesn't have control over us. It can only come in and wreak havoc when we allow it.
While it might seem like a sneaky monster, there are ways to know burnout is headed your way, making it easier for you to overcome it. Take a look at the tips below!
Negative Vibes Only
If you find yourself resenting everything around you, and you're having a nearly impossible time being optimistic about even the smallest things, burnout might be on the horizon. Don't take those moments of irritation and annoyance lightly. The truth is, you might feel that way because you're overwhelmed in one (or multiple) areas of your life, and that's the method you use to react, even if it's subconsciously. As a remedy, try taking out some of that frustration at the gym. A good workout to flush out all of the stress you're experiencing can do wonders for you sis.
Eatin’ Too Good
I'm guilty of this as much as the next chick. Emotional eating can come when you're in a really amazing mood and want to celebrate with cake and ice cream (cue Rihanna "and it's not even your birthday") or when you're ready to quit your job on sight so you indulge in whatever carbs and fat you can put your hands on. I can't lie, it tastes amazing, but it's not physically or mentally healthy, and could be a sign you're struggling from burnout. One solution is to discover your triggers for emotional eating and be more intentional about how you respond with your favorite foods. When those cravings come along, a glass of water could do the trick.
No Motivation
When we do the same thing day in and out -- home, work and back again -- it can be difficult to find the excitement in life. Getting stuck in a rut is no joke. If you realize that you're not motivated at a job that you were once in love with, or that it's really hard for you to stay focused as your attention span declines on a daily, you might just be over it -- in other words burned out. It's not a bad thing at all. It happens to all of us. But it can be stopped by taking a vacation, even if all you can do is a staycation at home on a Saturday. Whatever you need, take a break from the grind and the hustle of life and unplug so you can go back recharged and motivated again to do what you love. (Also, make a habit of scheduling free time for you to do this regularly so prevent more frequent burnout in the future.)
Sleep Pattern Is Way Off
If you're experiencing one extreme of chronic fatigue or the other, of insomnia, you might just have too much going on, and could be struggling from burnout. Having no energy and feeling completely depleted for even the smallest things and already dreading the next day before it arrives is a sign of burnout. Another side is having trouble going to sleep to begin with (and that melatonin just ain't working). While these could mean other things, they could also be an indication that you're experiencing burnout, sis. You can prevent fatigue by cutting out things like caffeine and alcohol. You can also try seeing a therapist and lowering your stress levels. When it comes to insomnia, you can get moving and exercise before bed, but also try not to go for that midnight snack.
When It Gets Physical
Physical signs of burnout consists of heavy chest pains, not being able to breathe normally, suffering from headaches and even fainting. It might be easy to overlook some of these things as normal or just how your body operates, but the truth is, you might be doing your body more damage than good without evaluating if burnout could be the root factor. If it is, try seeing a doctor about ways to treat these symptoms and boost your energy level, ultimately winning your battle against burnout.
Going Solo
We all like to be alone sometimes. In fact, some of us more than others. While we can put it off for the sake of being an introvert (raises hand slowly), sometimes even the most social side of us could be going through it. At work, you might find yourself closing your door more often, not wanting to do the regular chit chat with your coworkers and being a little more antisocial than your norm. At times, you could get to the point where you show up late just to steer clear of having to talk to people. If you're feeling burnout at this level, or any level, a break might be in order for you, sis. Remember, there's nothing wrong with needing a vacation. Just do what you feel is needed to get mentally clear.
Your Performance At Work Is On The Decline
We all know when we first start a job, we're energetic, full of bright ideas and sometimes, they can't get us to stop talking. Once we get comfortable and use all of the energy we have to complete even the smallest tasks, it's easy to feel a certain level of burnout. We find ourselves speaking up less in the meetings, and not feeling like going to the meetings at all. In these moments, you can either alter your attitude or the pressure you have on yourself at work, or both. I think one of the biggest lessons learned is that we can't expect someone to look out for us when it comes to our health and mental status. So doing what's best for you shouldn't be frowned upon. Take a break and make your comeback even better than when you left.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
'Tis The Season For Nail Glam: Holiday Manis For Every Festive Mood
The holidays are an exciting time to enjoy our family and decorate our hearts out. Our Christmas tree, dining table, and style all begin to reflect the joy we feel in the season, but what about our nails? Our nails are the star of the show this time of year. They are the part of ourselves people will see when we pass around presents and Christmas dinner.
Gifting ourselves the self-care we always deserve is a no-brainer, but sometimes we can become overwhelmed with choices.
There are many different nail designs and shapes to choose from, so it can be hard to settle on one. Kia Stewart is a talented celebrity nail artist. Her love for prioritizing nail health and design has gained her an immense amount of respect in the industry. Stewart is always mindful of paying attention to her audience for trends, which has helped her stay ahead of the game. “Recently, full chrome has made a significant comeback, and the classic French manicure remains timeless. 3D nails are trending on TikTok daily, though cat-eye and airbrush styles seem to have taken a backseat this year,” says Stewart.
As far as shapes, Stewart has noticed a huge trend in almond shapes. She believes this is due to the shape being timeless and truly chic. This includes sizes of all kinds. Tis the season to indulge in short and long almond-shaped nails. “Longer styles reminiscent of the ‘90s, complete with deep French tips and vibrant reds. I enjoy the diversity in preferences, as it keeps my work interesting. But the most common trend is self-expression, everyone is wearing nails that speak to them. I champion that it’s a mood.” Keep reading to see Stewart’s work for nail inspiration this holiday season.
Almond Bliss
Want your nails to reflect the gifts under the Christmas tree this year? Try this simple, yet totally festive nail design. Stewart uses the colors red and green to create a minimal nail design that gets its point across. This style can be approached with your natural nails or acrylic if you’re looking to add length.
French Manicure
As Stewart mentioned, a French manicure will never go out of style. However, if you’re looking to spice things up, we recommend playing with color. Incorporating a deep red French tip can be just as chic as traditional white. You can even add a present design (as seen here) if you want your French to be bold. The beauty of this is that you have the freedom to express yourself as you wish.
Deep Red
If Beyoncé is doing deep red, then we should definitely do it too! This deep red seems to be the color of the fall and winter seasons. Keep things elevated with a classic deep red on your hands, or mix it up! You can pair this deep red with white, like in this photo. Having deep red as your base will keep things interesting without having to try as hard.
Chrome
These nails are perfect New Year's Eve inspo for the season. The gold and black are giving us more reason to celebrate this year despite its difficulties. Get into the season with effortless chrome nails and a cool design to match. Watch out, 2025; we are coming for you!
Vibrant Red
The best part about the holiday season is that we can embrace the colors and put our nudes to rest. This vibrant red with gold chrome undertone is a fun way to enter into the happiest time of the year. Leave the red as it is, or add white stripes to create a candy cane look. Either way, you cannot go wrong with this traditional holiday color.
Don’t Be So Green
It’s time green enters the chat this holiday season. Adding a shape of deep green to your nail aesthetic can be a different approach to typical holiday designs. We also love the hint of gold and glitter in this design to add texture and contrast. Step into your green era and go outside the traditional holiday box.
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Featured image by @tylauren, courtesy of Kia Stewart @__luxk