Mary J. Blige Details How She Knew Her Self-Worth & Self-Love Were Lacking

Mary J. Blige On Her Self-Love Journey & Not Feeling Like Enough

While promoting her new children's book Mary Can, which was inspired by instances that occurred in Blige's adult life, the "Family Affair" songstress revealed that one of the things that pushed her to start healing was the negative feelings she experienced after being told in a past relationship that she wasn't enough.

Although Blige didn't publicly name the person who said those words, the star shared that she knew she lacked self-love during that time because of how long she stayed in the union despite being treated terribly.

"I actually started to believe it because when you love someone, and you don't love yourself, that's what happens. You stay longer. I stayed a very long time, and one day I just got tired of hating myself and feeling that feeling... I was searching for a way to heal, not be insecure, and not go through all these things that I was going through, " the singer said.

Blige would reveal that the breakthrough moment that propelled her self-love journey into overdrive occurred after watching a sermon by Bishop T.D. Jakes, in which he talked about the importance of self-love and self-worth.

The vocalist explained the main words she resonated with were how one's opinion and beliefs about themselves outranked what anyone else thinks. Following that sermon, Blige disclosed that was when she started saying positive affirmations to herself.

"He said, 'What you think about you, and say about you, and believe about you is more effective and important than what anyone can say about you.' When I tell you, that thing clicked. It just really really clicked for me," she stated. "That's how I began to move out of the relationship and moved out of that dark place because I began to speak the words, like the title of my album Good Morning Gorgeous: 'good morning Mary, good morning gorgeous, good morning I love you, good morning I need you, good morning you're beautiful, good morning you're a masterpiece.'"

Blige added that after "speaking positive words" over her life, things started to change for the better.

Blige's Advice to Those Struggling with Their Self-Worth

As the conversation shifted over to the advice that Blige would give others dealing with a similar situation and are trying to begin their self-love journey, the I Can Do Bad All by Myself actress said that the main thing that people should do during this process is start by saying positive affirmations even if they don't believe it.

"So this is what I did. I never thought I was gorgeous ever in my life. So I had to speak something I didn't believe. I didn't believe I was gorgeous, so I started saying, 'good morning, gorgeous...' Just saying it, no matter how bad I didn't believe it or how bad it hurts, just say it. I said it. I kept saying it, and after a while, it began to manifest in my heart. It began to manifest outside my body, and I began to actually see it. I felt it," she explained.

Blige suggested that many start by speaking positively about themselves because she feels that is the primary way to help people figure out how "great" they are without being dependent on others' approval.

"You have to keep you together. You can't depend on your husband. You can't depend on your boyfriend," the "Just Fine" singer continued. "I'm just saying this out of experience. You can't depend on your family to say you're great. You have to figure out a way to know you are great."

Blige On Solo Dates 

In addition to self-love, Blige expressed the importance of appreciating one's company by taking yourself out on a solo date and the value of friendships. When asked what a solo date night looks like for her, Blige mentioned that the dates consisted of going to dinner, watching a film, and drinking wine.

"The dates with Mary are very intimate... We'll go to dinner, we'll watch a movie, and then we'll just drink some wine. We'll just chill, give ourselves a hug, you know," she exclaimed while laughing.

Blige also added that one of the places she and her girlfriends often frequent is Nobu. As the host questioned Blige on who she would consider to be her best friend, the star said that she has a tribe that consists of a "team of amazing women" surrounding her whom she loves wholeheartedly.

With this conversation, it appears that Blige has figured out one of the secrets to being fulfilled in life: the mastery of self-love and having a good community around you.

Mary J. Blige on why she says ‘good morning, gorgeous’ to herself

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