5 Signs You're Dating A Hobosexual, Sis
We've all heard the cliché phrase "desperate times call for desperate measures," and with the cold weather swiftly moving in, most of us are looking for a hot plate and a warm body to lay next to at night. Fall/winter is the time of year to bring out our favorite sweaters, boots, socially-distanced family gatherings, gift buying, and pumpkin spice lattes. The joy of spreading holiday cheer can blind you sometimes from making reckless decisions. One of those decisions is welcoming a hobosexual into your home. What is a hobosexual, you ask?
Definition of hobosexual: 👇🏾 https://t.co/XZiaJRuYhJ
— norma louise bates. (@LovelyMsBurns) December 3, 2020
This word was introduced to us by Rolling Out writer Nakita Nicci and its meaning refers to "a person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay – not a genuine romantic interest." These home-hopping men will slide in your DMs on Monday, talk to you on the phone for hours on Tuesday, give you sex on Wednesday, tell you that they love you on Thursday, and want to move in by Friday. Aren't sure if the guy you're seeing is a hobosexual?
Here are five signs that you could be very well, indeed, dating a hobosexual.
He Moves The Relationship Hella Fast
Hobosexual: someone who is homeless and enters relationships just to find a home.— Robine ♍🇭🇹🇨🇦 (@rockin_robine) December 2, 2020
Those who are interested in you are willing to take their time getting to know you and anyone serious about getting to know you will be patient with learning the details of your life and understanding how you add to theirs. They are anxious to spend time with you, enjoy your company, and ask more in-depth questions. They will make sure that their exes are indeed exes, that their career is steady, and their finances are together before talking about a relationship or marriage. If he's already saying that he loves you by the second week, see that as a red flag. This is a marathon, not a race.
He Lives In The “In-Between” Spaces In Life
We've all met our fair share of "in-between" men before. The ones in-between cars, jobs, bank accounts, past (read: current) romantic relationships, and living conditions. Those who are frequently "crashing" at a friend or relatives' house (read: parents) until they can get back on their feet. If he isn't willing to say what he does for a living, or explain what he does for a living, say it with me one more time: issa red flag. He ain't got no job, sis!
He Doesn’t Know When To Leave
It’s hobosexual szn ladies. Don’t let him know where you live!— Cognac Dissonance (@rud_kel) December 7, 2020
Space is needed in any relationship, and in the initial stages of dating, you shouldn't just run past pacing in lieu of spending every waking minute together. If the man you are seeing is continuously spending the night and not allowing you to enjoy the space you pay rent in your aloneness, consider that a red flag. A man with his own would be willing to give you your space because he also has his. If you are having a hard time kicking him out, it's probably because he has nowhere else to go, so see that as a red flag.
His Lifestyle Is Infringing Upon The Way You Live Yours
If you find yourself spending extra money on food, notice your water bill increasing or do extra laundry, this is the perfect opportunity to evaluate your surroundings. Is he overstaying his welcome? Every time you ask to go to "his place", does he convince you that your spot is more comfortable? Or does he create a million and one reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea to visit his place? I'm sorry to break this to you, but he doesn't have a place to live, sis.
He Jumps Right Into Moving In With You
Gospel truth. Can make a woman a target for bums. The hobosexual energy is strong out here— 🧚🏾♂️ droskie don dada | hatshepsut jenkins ✨ (@___dro__) December 5, 2020
Speaking of not having a place to live, if you happen to overhear your winter bae mentioning a desk, music equipment, bikes, workout equipment, his million and one Jordan's, high school yearbooks, and awards. If you hear any of this associated with a storage unit (or his parents or homeboys), that is a sign that he has no other place to live and he feels comfortable enough to move it out and move it in with you. Your one-bedroom apartment is now doubling as a bachelor pad.
Cut your losses, and let the free bird be free.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
Featured image by Shutterstock
Writer, Empath, Listener, Self Improver, and a motivational speaker to her homegirls Teisha LeShea currently resides in California who loves to add fifteen million items to her Amazon cart. She is passionate about wellness, spiritual improvement, leveling up, and setting up twice a month therapy appointments. She writes with you in mind. Her listicle and personal stories will inspire you to dig deep within yourself to be a better you. You can follow her on Instagram @teisha.leshea and & @tl_teisha.leshea
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
There’s nothing quite as humbling as navigating adulthood with no instruction manual. Since the turn of the decade, it seems like everything in our society that could go wrong has, inevitably, gone wrong. From the global pandemic, our crippling student debt problem, the loneliness crisis, layoffs, global warming, recession, and not to mention figuring out what to eat for dinner every night. This constant state of uncertainty has many of us wondering, when are the grown-ups coming to fix all of this?
But the catch is, we are the new grown-ups.
As if it happened without our permission, we became the new adults. We are the members of society who are paying taxes, having children, getting married, and keeping our communities afloat, one iced latte at a time. Still, there’s something about doing all these grown-up duties that feel unnaturally grown-up. Enter the #teenagegirlinher20s.
If there’s one hashtag to give you the state of the next cohort of adults, it’s this one. Of the videos that have garnered over 3.9M views, you’ll find a collection of users who are overwhelmed by life’s pressing existential responsibilities, clung to nostalgia, and reminiscent of the days when their mom and dad took care of their insurance plans.
no like i cant explain to her why i had to buy multiple tank air dupes from aritzia #teenagegirlinher20s #fyp
The concept of being a 20-something or 30-something teenager is linked to the sentiment of not feeling “grown up enough” to do grown-up things while feeling underprepared and even nihilistic about whether that preparation even matters.
It’s our generation’s version of when we ask our grandmothers how old they are and they simply reply with, “I still feel 45,” all while being every bit of 76 years old. In this, we share a warped concept of time while clinging to a desire for infantilization.
Granted, the pandemic did a number on our concept of time. Many of us who started the pandemic in our early or mid-20s missed out on three fundamental years of socialization, career development, and personal milestones that traditionally help to mark our growth.
Our time to figure out and plan our next steps through fumbling yet active participation was put on pause indefinitely and then resumed provisionally. This in turn has left many of us hanging in the balance of uncertainty as we try to make sense of the disconnect between our minds and bodies in this missing gap of time.
Because we’re all still figuring out what the ramifications of being locked away and frozen in time by a global pandemic will have on us as a society, there really is no “right” way of making up for lost time. Feeling unprepared for any new chapter of life is a natural rite of passage, pandemic or not. However, it’s important to not stay stuck in the last age or period of life that made sense to us because self-growth is the truest evidence of personal progress.
So whether you’re leaning on your inner child, teenager, or 20-something for guidance as you fill the gap between your real age and pandemic age, know that it’s okay to grieve the person you thought you would be and the milestones you thought you’d hit before you ever knew what a pandemic was. If there’s anything that the pandemic taught us, it’s that we have the power to reimagine a better world and life for ourselves. And if we tap into our inner teenager as a compass, we can piece together our next chapter with a fresh outlook.
Sure, we’ve lost a couple of years, but there are still some really amazing ones ahead.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Stephen Zeigler/Getty Images