
I love my male friends. I really do. There are a billion reasons why, but one of them is because I find myself having the most random conversations with them about stuff that I probably wouldn't give too much credence to otherwise. Take bathing, for example. On the rest and relaxation tip, there aren't too many things that I enjoy more than soaking in the bathtub. Not only does it feel good, but it comes with all sorts of health benefits including the fact that it destresses us, reduces bodily inflammation, lowers our blood pressure, burns calories (some experts say even as much as a long walk does) and even strengthens our immune system.
As I was sharing some of this with a male buddy of mine, he wasn't moved in the least. He actually loathes baths and it's for one main reason. "Shellie, baths are gross. How are you getting clean when you are washing up in your own dirt?" I mean, he kinda has a point. Not a strong enough one for me to quit taking baths altogether, but definitely enough of one to make me do some digging around to see if I'm doing this whole bathing thing right. Come to find out, there were a few areas I could stand to improve on. Hmph. Bathing etiquette. Who knew?
And how can you know if you're bathing "right" or "wrong? Go down this checklist. How many things are you able to nod your head up and down about?
1. Thoroughly Clean Your Bathtub

Brace yourselves because, out of all of the things that I'm about to share, this point will probably evoke the most "ewws".
Did you know that the average bathtub contains 100 times more germs than—wait for it—a trash can? A TRASH CAN.
This is why, before I even get into the rights and wrongs of bath time, it really is important to mention that bathtubs should be thoroughly cleaned after each and every use. If you'd like a few refresher tips on how to get yours to shine and sparkle, there are a couple of good tips here, here and here.
2. Decide What Type of Bath You Want to Take

Not all baths are created equal. Yep, in their own special way, each one has a theme. Although there are dozens of combinations, the ones that come off the top of my head is the stress-relieving bath, the pain-decreasing bath, the "Calgon, take me away" bath, the insomniac bath and the romantic bath. Based on whatever it is that you're trying to achieve up in that tub of yours, that will let you know what to bring.
For instance, if you're taking a bath after working out (if this is the case, try and wait an hour; your body is "too hot" for hot water following exercising and cool water could "shock" your system), bring in some Epsom salt. If it's a bath to help you to sleep, some lavender oil could do you a world of good. Or, if you plan on bringing someone in there with you, a few rose petals and a bottle of wine—which you were probably going to use regardless—will set the scene perfectly.
3. Have Herbal Tea, DIY Body Wash and Essential Oils on Tap

One of the best ways to get herbs into your pores is to put a couple of herbal tea bags into your bathwater (if you want to learn how to make some lavender tea bags, click here). If you're wondering what some of the best herbs for bathing are—chamomile will relax you; ginger root will detox you; comfrey leaf will heal wounds and reduce scars; calendula will relieve muscle spasms (if you drink it, it can help to regulate your period too) and peppermint will boost your immune system.
Two other things that you should have close by is body wash and some essential oils that you can drop into your bathwater. On the body wash tip, I'm a huge fan of making your own (some cool YouTube videos include "DIY African Black Soap Acne Wash, Body Wash, and Shampoo", "How to Make Homemade Natural Bodywash" and "How to Make Natural Body Wash | Honey Coconut Body Wash"). As far as oils go, eucalyptus will help to clear your sinuses; bergamot will relax you; a combo of sage and mint will help to balance you out; citrus will reenergize you and cloves and cedarwood will relieve stress.
4. Use the Right Kind of Soap (and Not Too Much of It)

Is there such a thing as using too much soap? Indeed, there is. If you "over-wash", it can dry out your skin. Not only that, but sometimes too much soap can desensitize your skin to the ingredients in it to the point where the soap no longer fights off the germs that it's created to remove.
If you're wondering what kind of soaps will do your body good while you're taking a bath, Byrdie did a pretty cool write up on the best ones, based on your skin types and needs, for 2019. You can check it out here.
Speaking of feeling clean and smelling fresh, if you're still using a popular commercial brand of deodorant, another read that's worth your time is "How to Detox Your Armpits and Switch to a Nontoxic Deodorant". More and more reasons are coming out for why using "typical" deodorant is not good, but if you want to add another to your list, if you apply it right after getting out of the tub, it can dry out your armpits, making them all itchy and irritated. So yeah…don't do that (anymore).
5. Do Not Shave Immediately Before Bathing

A mistake that I sometimes make on my pedicure appointment days is shaving my legs. The reason why this is such a no-no is because when you shave, it opens up your pores and sometimes creates nicks in your skin too. The bacteria and germs that are in your pedi or bathwater can get into those places; you definitely don't want that. Another problem that can arise from shaving before bathing is it could cause your pores to look dry and dull. So yeah, wait until you are out of the tub before pulling out your razor.
By the way, if you're in the market for a new all-natural shaving product, check out "7 Best Organic & Natural Shaving Creams For Men + Women".
6. Warm Up the Bathroom

Here's something that I found to be interesting. Did you know that it's always best to have your bathroom temperature and the temp of your bath water to be as close to being the same as possible? The reason why is because our body is best able to perceive temperatures, in general, by comparing our internal temperature to that of the temps that are around us. I'm pretty sure you don't want it to be a sauna up in there, so around 70 degrees is pretty good.
7. Make Sure the Bathwater Is Lukewarm

As far as bathwater temperatures go, anything above 39 degrees Celsius or 102.2 Fahrenheit can result in a psychological effect that could be counterproductive for your health. The reason why super hot water isn't the best is because the blood vessels on our skin's surface dilate when they touch hot water; that can sometimes result in a heavier blood flow than we need which could put a slight amount of strain on our heart. On the flip side, if the water is too cool, it narrows our blood vessels which isn't good either.
If you want to use cold water, reserve it for showers that are under seven minutes instead. It's a good final rinse on hair wash days because it will seal your cuticles, and a good final rinse for your skin because it can relieve sore muscles while closing up your pores.
8. Add Some Honey and/or Olive Oil to It

If it seems like, no matter what you do, you can't seem to get your skin soft enough, try adding a ½ cup of honey and/or ¼ cup of olive oil. Honey is a natural humectant (it draws moisture into the skin from the water that it's around) and olive oil is loaded with all sorts of antioxidants and antibacterial properties that will protect your skin, seal in moisture and keep your skin baby soft smooth.
Just make sure to pour these things under a faucet of warm running water. That way, they will dissolve fully.
9. Cleanse, Then Remove Your Loofah/Sponge/Scrubber Immediately Following

The thing that you're using to exfoliate your body is removing tons of bacteria and dead skin cells. That's why, once you're done using it, it's not good enough to simply run it underneath your faucet and hang it up. You need to wash your loofah, sponge or body scrubber and then place it somewhere where it can thoroughly dry out. Otherwise, you are setting yourself up to have a moldy situation on your hands.
As far as how to clean these items, some experts recommend soaking them in bleach for five minutes and then thoroughly rinsing them out. They also say that it's a good idea to replace your loofah or sponge every 3-4 weeks (how long have you had yours?), that you should never use it on your face or va-jay-jay and, to keep bacteria from creeping into your skin, you should definitely avoid using it for 1-2 days after you shave.
10. Time Your Towel Drying

Your towel is going to dry you off and keep your warm, no doubt about that. But it's also going to remove any remnants of bacteria off of your skin; that's why it's not a good idea to keep it wrapped around you for longer than 15 minutes or so.
Between the dampness of your skin and the towel itself, that could trap in moisture and bacteria which is a breeding ground for more germs.
Also, make sure not to use the same towels for the rest of your life. If you're curious about why I say that, I wrote more about it in the piece "When Should You Replace Underwear, Make-Up, Bedding, Washcloths & Towels?".
BONUS: Considering Taking a Shower---First

And then, a bonus, for my male friend and anyone who thinks like him. If, no matter what, you just can't seem to shake the thought of dirt and soap scum floating in your bathwater, you can always take a shower, clean the tub and then soak in the bath. That way you can feel clean and still reap the rewards of bathing. Hey, it's just a thought.
Now let me get off of this thing and take a bath. The right way.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Why I Am No Longer Using Washcloths & Loofahs To Shower
9 All-Natural Ways To Quench Dehydrated Skin
Love On Yourself With These 7 All-Natural DIY Vaginal Washes
Feature image by Shutterstock
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
If there is one thing that I am going to do, it’s buy myself some scented soy candles. And, as I was looking at a display of them in a TJ Maxx store a couple of weekends ago, I found myself wondering just who decided which scents were considered to be “holiday” ones. The origin stories are actually pretty layered, so, for now, I’ll just share a few of ‘em.
I’m sure it’s pretty obvious that pine comes from the smell of fresh Christmas trees; however, scents like cloves, oranges, and cinnamon are attributed to two things: being natural ways to get well during the cold and flu season, and also being flavors that are used in many traditional holiday meals.
Meanwhile, frankincense and myrrh originate from the Middle East and Africa (you know, like the Bible does — some folks need to be reminded of that—eh hem — Trumpers) and ginger? It too helps with indigestion (which can definitely creep up at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner tables); plus, it’s a key ingredient for ginger snaps and gingerbread houses. So, as you can see, holiday-themed scents have a rhyme and reason to them.
Tying this all in together — several years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry ‘Christmas Sex’?” Well, in the spirit of revisiting some of that content, with a bit of a twist, I decided to broach some traditional holiday scents from the perspective of which ones will do your libido a ton of good from now through New Year’s Eve (check out “Make This Your Best NYE. For Sex. EVER.”).
Are you ready to check some of them out, so that, whether it’s via a candle, a diffuser, some essential oil, or some DIY body cream (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”), you can bring some extra festive ambiance into your own boudoir? Excellent.
1. Vanilla

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When it comes to holiday desserts, you’re going to be hard-pressed to find recipes that don’t include vanilla — and that alone explains why it is considered to be a traditional holiday scent. As far as your libido goes, vanilla is absolutely considered to be an aphrodisiac — partly because its sweet scent is considered to be very sensual. Some studies even reveal that vanillin (the active ingredient in vanilla) is able to increase sexual arousal and improve erectile dysfunction in men. So, if you adore the smell, here is more incentive to use it.
2. Frankincense

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Although, typically, when people think about frankincense (and myrrh), it’s in the context of the gifts that the wise men brought Christ after he was born; it’s a part of the biblical Christmas story. However, frankincense goes much deeper than that. Sexually, since it has an earthy and spicy scent, some people like to use it to meditate (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”). Also, since it has the ability to put you in a better mood, soothe and soften your skin and maintain your oral health — with the help of frankincense, every touch and kiss can be that much…sexier.
3. Cinnamon

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I already gave cinnamon a shout-out in the intro. Personally, I’ve been a fan of it, in the sex department, for a long time now (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”). When it’s in oil form, it can be very sweet to the taste while sending a warm sensation throughout the body — which is why the giver and receiver of oral sex can benefit from its usage. Beyond that, cinnamon helps to increase blood flow to your genital region, elevate sexual desire and, some studies say that it can even help improve fertility. Beautiful.
4. Peppermint

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If there’s a signature candy for the holiday season, it’s probably a candy cane — which automatically puts peppermint in the running for being an official holiday scent. Pretty much, in any form, it’s got your sex life’s back because it’s hailed as being a sexual stimulant; in part, because its smell is so invigorating. Plus, it helps to (eh hem) ease headaches, it gives you more energy and it can definitely help to freshen your breath. Also, that minty sensation? The same thing that I said about cinnamon can apply to peppermint too (if you catch my drift).
5. Ginger

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Whether it’s in a meal or in your bedroom, ginger is going to produce results that are hella spicy. On the sex tip, science has praised ginger for being able to increase sexual arousal, improve blood circulation (which intensifies orgasms) and strengthen fertility for many years. Scent-wise, I find it to be one that both men and women enjoy because it is both woodsy and sweet. So, if you’ve got some massage oil in mind, adding some ginger is a way to please you both.
6. Pomegranate

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September through December is the time of year when pomegranates are considered to be in season. And, as someone who is a Rosh Hashanah observer, I have a personal adoration for them because I am aware of the various things that they symbolize in Hebrew culture including the fact that they are a fruit that represents love and fertility. So yeah, they would absolutely be an aphrodisiac — one that is perfect for this time of the year. While consuming it helps to boost testosterone levels in both men and women, the floral bittersweet smell that it produces can help to reduce stress while promoting relaxation (like most floral scents do) — and the more relaxed you are, the easier it is to climax.
7. Nutmeg

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Another signature seasoning during the holiday season is nutmeg. It’s perfect in Thanksgiving sweet potato (or pumpkin) pie and Christmas morning French toast. And yes, it can also make your sex life better. If you consume it, it can intensify your libido and, overall, its warm-meets-spicy-meets-sweet smell is so inviting that it is considered to be a pretty seductive scent.
8. Cloves

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I ain’t got not one lie to tell you — if you’ve got a toothache, put some clove oil on that bad boy and send me a Christmas present for putting you on game. Aside from that, as I round all of this out, cloves are another holiday scent that can do wonders for your sex life. For men, it has the ability to significantly increase sexual arousal and improve stamina and endurance. For men and women alike, it also has a reputation for strengthening sexual desire. And for women solely? Well, if you want an all-natural way to increase natural lubrication down below — the scent and and feel (in DILUTED oil form) can make that happen. It can make the holidays especially special…if you know what I mean.
Ah yes — the atmosphere of the holidays and what it can do.
Take it all in! Scent ‘n whatever stimulating that comes with it! #wink
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