If you’re someone who spends even a lil’ bit of time on TikTok (and you’ve got beauty content that shows up in your algorithm), you’ve probably seen at least one video this year that talks about how wonderful batana oil is — and it is.
One of the reasons why I’m so sold on it is — how many times do I have to say that long hair isn’t based on ethnicity? Speed of growth (meaning, whether your hair grows “1/2 or ¼” a month) tends to deal with genetics and the fact that some people’s hair produces more sebum that coats from scalp to tip more than others, that can result in less breakage which can lead to more length retention.
That said, still, whether you’ve got B-type hair or some level of 4, if long locks are what you are after, with some consistent nurturing and patience, you can have exactly what you desire — and batana oil just might be able to help you out…on a few levels.
Since banana oil is also an all-natural oil that can make your skin glow naturally, I wanted to take a moment or two to share with you why the next time you see a post about batana oil, you shouldn’t ignore it; invest in a bottle or jar and see why so many of us adore it just that much.
Batana Oil: What Is It?
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If you were to ask a group of Batana oil users what the oil smells like, most of them would probably say something like smoky coffee. Well, interestingly enough, the oil originates from nuts that come from a certain type of palm tree in Honduras. Although it’s thicker than, say, coconut oil, something that it has in common with it is the fact that it will solidify in cooler temperatures and melt into oil in warmer ones.
Anyway, a part of the reason why batana oil is becoming such a fan favorite within the Black community is because it is thicker and “richer” in its texture, that makes it a wonderful complement for hair textures that are curler or coarser. And since it’s also full of antioxidants, fatty acids, and vitamins A and E, it is something that can both restore and maintain the health of your skin as well as your hair.
And just how is it able to do this?
Batana Oil Benefits for Hair, Skin & More
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Batana Oil Benefits: Deeply Moisturizes Your Skin
One thing that batana oil is able to do is work as an emollient on your skin. What this basically means is it’s the kind of moisturizer that can help to hydrate and even soothe your skin. Another cool thing about emollients is they are automatically able to “seal your skin” with a protective layer of hydration.
So, if like me, you’re someone who likes to apply an oil to your skin after getting out of the bath or shower in order to maintain moisture for a longer period of time, batana oil is one of the best types of oil to apply.
Batana Oil Benefits: Fights Off Free Radicals
If, whenever you read a skincare article, it says something about free radicals and you’re wondering why you should even care about those, probably the quickest explanation that I can give you is they can cause oxidative stress, which can ultimately accelerate the aging process of your skin. So yes, you want to do all that you can to keep them “off of you.” Something that is able to do that? Yep, batana oil.
Because it contains the kind of antioxidants that help to keep UV damage from impacting your skin on a significant level, that is another reason to consider adding it to your skincare beauty regimen. Just make sure that you don’t substitute it for sunscreen. You will definitely need that as well.
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Batana Oil Benefits: Great for Scalp Health
Okay, so one of the things that turned me into a superfan of batana oil is how well it moisturizes my scalp. Dry scalp is something that I deal with pretty often, and since that not only can lead to itchiness and irritation, it can also have my hair looking dry and brittle, I want it to be lubricated on a consistent basis. Batana oil is able to do that, in part, thanks to the carotenoids that are in it.
Carotenoids are pigments that convert to vitamin A. This is great, as far as your scalp is concerned, because it helps your scalp to naturally produce sebum, protects your hair follicles, and ultimately encourages hair growth.
Indeed, a healthy scalp is the foundation for healthy hair (check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.,” “10 Things Your Scalp Has BEEN Waiting For You To Do” and “Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend”).
Batana Oil Benefits: Helps to Prevent Hair Breakage and Reduces Frizz
As I already mentioned, something else that batana oil has in it is vitamin E. That makes it good for your skin because it contains anti-inflammatory properties along with compounds that help to protect and even repair your skin’s cells. As far as your hair goes, vitamin E increases blood circulation to your scalp so that your hair follicles are able to get even more of the nutrients that it needs (in order to improve the quality of your hair strands); plus, vitamin E add shine to your hair.
Also, since vitamin E can literally help to rebuild the structure of your hair too, that’s why many users say that batana oil has caused them to gain more inches as far as lock length is concerned. Oh, and since vitamin E also helps to smooth out hair cuticles (which is the result of hair dryness, too,) that can decrease the amount of frizz that you have, which can reduce breakage while defining your natural curls so much better in the process.
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Batana Oil Benefits: Enhances Dark Hair Color Hues
Although batana oil cannot “dye” your hair (because it doesn’t contain deep pigments or chemicals), if you’re looking for an all-natural way to enhance the appearance of your dark hair, it may be able to do that too. Thanks to the dark tint that batana oil has (which is one way to test the integrity of the oil, by the way), it’s been known to bring about the best in darker hues — which will make the color look even richer thanks to the sheen that it also provides.
Batana Oil Benefits: It's an Excellent “Product Enhancement”
I’m someone who applies the oil to my scalp, straight out of the jar that I purchased it in. However, if you’re someone who wants to “ease into” the batana oil or you simply would like it to complement some of your other skin or hair products, it also works well in that way. Some people use it as an addition to their overnight skin moisturizer, pre-poo treatment on wash days, and/or as an additional ingredient in their leave-in conditioner or their hair mask recipes.
Also, if you’re on a mission to get some length retention, it absolutely cannot hurt to apply a bit of the oil to your ends before turning in at night (since your ends are the oldest parts of your hair).
BONUS: How to Know You’re Getting “Real” Batana Oil
Y’all know how it goes — when something magnificent makes its way onto the scene, there are going to be folks out here who try to scam you with a weak-ass imitation of it. Unfortunately, batana oil is no different. That’s why, I decided to close this out with a video from the YouTube channel Karen of Curl House (who has some pretty solid content, in general). If you watch it all the way to the end, you will get the intel that you know in order to feel confident about purchasing the kind of batana oil that will give you the best results of all. (Oh, and for the record, a Black-owned company that brands itself as selling 100 percent vegan batana oil is located here.)
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There is a lot of stuff to choose from in these beauty-enhancing streets, no doubt about that. However, I can vouch that batana oil will not disappoint. Give it a shot (unless you have a nut allergy; it's made from nuts, after all). Your skin and hair will thank you abundantly, chile.
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Let me start this off by saying that of course, to a certain extent, the answer is subjective because it’s mostly opinion-rather-than-fact driven. However, I personally think that sex is hella impactful, which is why I hope that my personal breakdown will at least cause you to want to think about what you do, who you do it with, and why, more than you may have in the past.
Because although, at the end of the day, the physical aspects of making love, having sex, and f-cking are very similar, you’d be amazed by how drastically different they are in other ways…at the very same time.
Making Love
GiphyBack when I wrote my first book, I wasn’t even 30 at the time and still, one of the things that I said in it is, I pretty much can’t stand the term “make love.” Way back then, I stated that sex between two people who truly love each other and are committed for the long haul, when it comes to what they do in the bedroom, it’s so much more about CELEBRATING love than MAKING it. To make means “to produce” or “to bring into existence;” to celebrate means “to commemorate,” “to perform” or “to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time.”
The act of sex, standing alone? It can’t make love happen and honestly, believing otherwise is how a lot of people find themselves getting…got.
What do I mean? Tell me how in the world, you meet a guy, talk to him for a few weeks, don’t even know his middle name or where he was born and yet somehow, you choose to call the first time you have sex with him (under those conditions) “making love.” You don’t love him. You don’t know him well enough to love him. He doesn’t love you either (for the same reason). And yet you’re making love? How sway? Oh, but let that sex be bomb and those oxytocin highs might have you tempted to think that’s what’s happening — and that is emotionally dangerous. And yes, I mean, literally.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times before, that one of the reasons why I like that the Bible defines sex between a husband and his wife is by using the word “know” (Genesis 4:1) is because, well, I think that is what celebrating love is all about — we know each other well enough to know that we love each other, we know each other well enough to know that we aren’t going anywhere, and that knowing is what makes us want to celebrate that union by getting as close to one another and bringing as much physical pleasure to each other as we possibly can…as often as absolutely possible.
To me, that is what the peak of physical intimacy is all about — and the people who choose to use the term “make love,” it should be seen through this type of lens. When this type of mental and emotional bond comes together via each other’s bodies, they are amplifying love, enjoying love, embracing love.
Making it, though? Chile, the love has already been made. Sex is just the icing on the cake.
Having Sex
GiphyA few nights ago, I found myself rewatching this movie called Four of Hearts (which you can currently view on yep, you guessed it: Tubi). It’s about two married couples — one that is in an open marriage and another that isn’t although they somehow thought that sharing a night with the other couple would be a good idea (chile). Anyway, as one of the partners found themselves getting low-key sprung, the one they fell for said in one of the scenes, “It wasn’t a connection. It was just sex.” JUST. SEX.
Listen, when you decide to let a man put an entire part of his body inside of you at the risk of potentially getting an STI/STD or pregnant (because no form of birth control is 100 percent except for abstinence), it can never be “just sex” (somebody really needed to hear that too). At the same time, though, I got the character’s point because, if one or both people do not love each other or even deeply care for one another and/or sex is treated as an activity more than an act to establish a worthwhile connection and/or you and the person you are sleeping with have not really discussed what you are expecting from sex besides the act itself — you’re definitely not making/celebrating love.
Not by a long shot. What can make things get a bit complicated, though, is you’re doing the same act that “love makers” do without the same mental and emotional ties…or (sometimes) expectations.
You know, back when I decided to put all of my business out there via the piece “14 Lessons I've Learned From 14 Sex Partners,” now more than ever, I am quite clear that most of those guys fell into the “having sex” category. I wasn’t in the type of relationship with them where “making love” even made sense; however, because I was friends with most of them, we weren’t exactly f-cking (which I will get to in just a moment) either. We had a connection of some sort for the bedroom yet not enough to be together in the other rooms of the house.
We were really attracted and curious, so we decided to act on that. Oftentimes, the sex was good and so we rationalized that “having sex” was enough because if the friendship was, eh, “sound enough”, that we could justify the physical pleasure.
And y’all, that’s kind of what having sex is — it’s the limbo (or purgatory, depending on your situation) between making love and f-cking. The thing about limbo ish is it’s a lot like something being lukewarm: it’s not really one thing or another which means that it can completely blindside you, if you’re not careful (and totally honest with yourself as well as your partner(s)).
So, if you are contemplating having sex, I really — REALLY — recommend that you figure out how you feel, what you want (outside of the act itself) and if you are prepared for what “not quites” can bring. My mother used to say that the consequences of sex don’t change just because the circumstances do — and there is some solid “wow” to that, if you really stop to think about it.
GiphyAnd finally, f-ck. Although most experts on the word (and yes, there are some) agree that its origin is rooted somewhere within the German language (although some say that it might’ve come from Middle English words like fyke or fike which mean “to move about restlessly” or the Norwegian word fukka which means “to copulate”), you might have also heard that it is an acronym that once stood for “Fornication Under Consent of the King”; and there is actually some data that is connected to that as well.
Legend has it that way back in the day, in order to keep reproduction rates where a particular king wanted them to be, he would instruct his residents to have sex with each other — whether they were married or not (hence, the word “fornication” being in the acronym). However, because sex outside of marriage was taken far more seriously at the time, residents had to apply for a permit to participate so that the king could determine if things like their occupation and lineage would prove to be beneficial for the kingdom overall. F-ck: no love; just necessity. And although some believe this to be more myth than fact, what is certain is it was only over time that f-ck was seen as a profane/swear/cuss word — a word that was perceived to be so offensive, in fact, that between the years 1795-1965, it didn’t even appear in dictionaries.
Personally, when I think of this four-letter word, the first thing that actually comes to my mind is animals. Take a dog being in heat, for instance. That’s basically when a female dog is ovulating and wants to have sex the most. It’s not because they are “in love” with another dog; they are simply doing what instinctively comes to them — and since animals do not reason or feel at the same capacity that humans do, although they science says that many of them do experience pleasure when they engage in their version of sexual activity, it’s not nearly as layered or even profound as what we experience.
Let’s keep going. Another reason why f-cking makes me think of animals is due to the doggy style position. Hear me out. Ain’t it wild how, most of us pretty much know that the term comes from how dogs have sex, even though most animals have sex that same way — and think about it: Doggy style doesn’t consist of making eye contact or kissing while having intercourse. It’s “hitting from behind” without much emotional energy or effort at all. Just how animals do it. And so, yeah, f-cking does seem to be more about pure animal — or in our case, mammal — instinct. I don’t need to feel anything for someone, so long as the sexual desire is there. Hmph.
Something else that I find to be interesting about f-cking is how dictionaries choose to define it. Many of them are going to provide you with two definitions: “to have sexual intercourse with” and “to treat unfairly or harshly (usually followed by over)” and that definitely makes me think of another term — casual sex and words that define casual like apathetic, careless and without serious or definite intention. So, the dictionary says that while f-cking is about having sexual intercourse — just like making love and having sex is — it goes a step further and says that it can include being treated unfairly or harshly.
And although that can make you think of assault on the surface, for sure — sometimes being treated unfairly or harshly is simply feeling like someone had sex AT you and not really WITH you; instinct (i.e., getting off) and that’s about it. Yeah, the way this puzzle is coming together, f-cking seems to be more about lust and self and not much else.
Now That You Know the Difference, What to Keep in Mind
Y’all, this is definitely the kind of topic that I could expound on until each and every cow comes home. That said, here’s hoping that I provided enough perspective on each act to close this out by encouraging you to keep the following three things to keep in mind:
1. Before you engage in copulation, be honest with yourself about what you’re ACTUALLY doing — and that your partner agrees with you. You know, they say that our brain is our biggest sex organ and honestly, breaking down the differences between making love, having sex and f-cking helps to prove that fact. I say that because, although the sex act itself is pretty much the same across the board, you and your partner’s mindset can make the experience completely different. That said, if you think that you are making love and they think y’all are just having sex — stuff can get pretty dicey. Bottom line: communicate in the bedroom before attempting to connect outside of it. It’s always worth it when you do.
2. Yes, you can feel one way and do something else. I can just about guess what some of y’all are on: Shellie, we can love our partner and still just want to f-ck. If what you are saying is you can emotionally love someone and physically lust them and want to act sometimes on the lust without really factoring in the love — yes, I agree. Doggy style continues to be a favorite sex position for people, in general, and I’m more than confident that many of the participants polled are in a serious relationship. However, having lust-filled sex with someone who you know loves you is vastly different than doing it with someone who you have no clue what they think about you or you barely know at all. Y’all, please just make sure that you know…what you should know. Sex is too amazing to have a lot of regret after it.
3. Have realistic expectations about sex. Listen, so much of my life consists of writing and talking about sex that I will be the first one to say that it deserves a ton of props for what it is able to do, in a wonderful way, for people mentally, emotionally and physically. Yet again, I’m not a fan of “make love” because something that feels really good doesn’t always mean that it is good for you. Meaning, you’ve got to be real about what sex with someone will do to your mind and spirit — not just what it will do for your body. An author by the name of Gabriel García Márquez once said, “Sex is the consolation you have when you can't have love.” For no one, should this be a constant norm. Feel me? I hope you do.
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One act. Three very different experiences.
It’s kind of wild that sex has the ability to create that — and yet, clearly, it does.
Please just make sure that you know which experience you’re signing up for.
So that you’re having sex (you know, in general) instead of sex having you. Real talk.
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