A new year is upon us, girl. I know you've got new goals to achieve, new ground to cover, new practices to master. You're on your "new year, new me" vibe and excited, maybe even slightly anxious for how it will go. I get it. I'm there too.
With all the big dreams and goals we set out on our journey to achieve, it can get overwhelming to figure out how to fight off all the things that vy for our attention on a daily basis. The inward commitment is strong but the practical tools are sometimes unclear.
Never fear! I caught up with 7 DOPE Black women to get a variety of tips, tricks, and motivation for how to combat distraction and how to feel good doing it!
Check out their nuggets of wisdom and comment, letting us know how you plan to kick distraction's butt in the new year!
xoQuestion: How do you successfully combat distractions from your calling/work in the age of social media?
Ashley Sharie
Business Advisor, Mindset Master, Founder of Aspire Business
Follow her on Twitter & Instagram: @loveasharie, @2aspireco
"I combat distractions literally by minding my business – in both a literal and figurative sense. Not only do I worry about myself and #slayinmylane, but I also practice a great deal of mindfulness and mindset mastery. When I get distracted in any form (comparison, over-consumption, perfectionism), I stop and ask, 'Why?' Rather than reprimand myself or rationalize the behavior, I take a step back and look at the 'why.' What is my trigger? How am I feeling?
"I assess my answers, course correct, and get back to business. Whether that means silencing notifications, unfollowing certain accounts, adjusting deadlines, unsubscribing from newsletters – whatever I need to do, I do it."
Gabrielle Hickmon
Writer. Founder & EIC of TheReignXY. Author, sunny.
Follow her on all social media: @gabbyhickmon, @thereignxy
(Photo credit: - Damola Akintunde)
"I get off social media. Anytime I feel myself getting too caught up in scrolling, I delete the apps and have a friend change my passwords. Sometimes it's for a week or two, others for a few months. It helps me refocus and get grounded. I try to remind myself that the work is the work. Posting about it isn't.
"In order to look like you're getting things done, you have to be doing something – even if it's crappy. So, get to work. Learn your cycles and work when you can. Rest when your body and spirit tell you to. You can't cheat the game. Well, you can. But don't you wanna earn your keep?"
"I try to remind myself that the work is the work. Posting about it isn't."
Inacent Saunders
Nonprofit Consultant
Follow her on Instagram: @groundworkforchange, and Facebook: www.facebook.com/G4CLLC
"First, I try my best to conduct my business in business settings. So, I find it easier to focus and ignore social media if I'm sitting at a desk in a coworking space, surrounded by other people doing their own work, than if I was at home on the couch, or in a local café, bumping the latest pop and hip hop tunes overhead. I rarely ever wander over to social media if I'm in a work/business environment.
"Second, regarding [online distraction/comparison], that's mitigated by simply remembering that my success is going to look different anyway! As a woman of faith, one of the things I've learned is that the path I have to take to get to my destiny and to fulfill my purpose, looks NOTHING like anyone else's path. My success won't look like their success. Who I'm called to, won't be who their called to. And my results won't look like their results. I'm learning to use social media in ways and at times that are not distracting to me. And when I do use it, I'm rarely distracted by the images of success and triumph I see folk sharing. If anything, I've learned to celebrate their success, because I know it's going to be just as sweet for me, in my own way, and in my own timing."
Lia Epps
Social Worker, Photographer
Follow her on Instagram: @liaeppsphotography and Twitter: @liaephotography
"I combat distractions by setting aside specific days where I dedicate several hours to my photography; I also am very fond of the Do Not Disturb feature. Additionally, I have accountability with other creative friends about new projects or upcoming deadlines and they keep me in check. One of my biggest drivers to keep me focused is that someone is depending on me to do what God called me to do. When I get off track, I am standing in the way of someone getting free or reaching their full potential."
Alisha Robertson
Founder, LivingOverExisting.com
Follow her on all social media platforms: @TheAlishaNicole
"I try to automate everything as much as possible so that I am not connected to my phone and social media all day. Automation helps me to stay consistent without always being present 24/7. Leaving my phone in a different room or on Do Not Disturb helps a ton when I am trying to focus and push through my to-do list. Also, whenever I feel like I'm starting to compare myself to certain people or whenever a post doesn't put me in a good space, I don't hesitate to unfollow."
Shay Duriel Davis
Digital Marketing Strategist and Creator, The Bronze Hustle
Follow her on all social media platforms: @shayduriel and @thebronzehustle
"I used to think that in order to really be successful, you would need to put yourself in a bubble and just never interact in order to really have solid work done within your work. Now, I believe there are also times when coexisting and creating a balance is just as important. Some of us do well with deactivating or handing off all social media duties but for those of us who not only weave it through our work but also enjoy connecting with our counterparts, there are a lot of dope connections and opportunities that can come from just scrolling your (curated) timeline. Regardless of if the people on your timeline enjoy your process and what the glam side looks like, it's the results that truly matter."
"Some of us do well with deactivating or handing off all social media duties but for those of us who not only weave it through our work but also enjoy connecting with our counterparts, there are a lot of dope connections and opportunities that can come from just scrolling your (curated) timeline."
Gynai Kristol
Videographer. Freelancer.
Follow her on Twitter & Instagram: @_KristolKlear
"When it comes to social media or notifications in general, I am the queen of Do Not Disturb. My phone lives on it and if I could turn it on for my life I would (my friends slightly dislike me for this haha). I tend to stay off of it especially when I'm in work mode. I don't really use Twitter, but Instagram had a lot of my time. When I was in the process of rebranding and relaunching my website about a year ago, I had completely deleted the Instagram app off of my phone. I found myself comparing where I was (like most of do) to where someone else was in their journey and career. So in order to just focus on myself and get my sh*t in order, I removed those distractions from my phone. And now, I occasionally turn the notifications off in the app itself."
Featured image of Gabrielle Hickmon by Damola Akintunde.
RELATED
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."
Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
My main motive? Mostly, I hope that it will serve as a solid reminder to embrace all of the things that you adore about this time of year, so long as you do it in moderation and you weigh the costs.
Especially as far as drinking alcohol is concerned.
PRO: Manages Blood Sugar Levels
GiphyHere’s something that you may have never seen coming. Were you aware of the fact that alcohol can actually help to stabilize your blood sugar? Yep, according to the American Diabetes Association, so long as you leave it to no more than 1-2 cocktails a day, alcohol may be able to lower your A1C levels. Pretty cool, right?
CON: It’s a Carcinogen
GiphyAlcohol is a carcinogen. The reason why this should somewhat alarm you is because carcinogens are things (like tobacco, UV rays, processed meats, etc.) that can increase your chances of being diagnosed with cancer (especially mouth, throat, esophagus, stomach and breast cancer). There are various ways this happens including the fact that alcohol, specifically, can hinder your body from breaking down certain nutrients, it can cause your estrogen levels to spike and alcohol can also cause certain toxins to damage your DNA and certain bodily proteins over time.
PRO: Cultivates Euphoric Feelings
GiphyIf you find yourself feeling more euphoric while you’re enjoying a drink, it’s not all up in your head. Although, for the more part, alcohol is considered to be a depressant, when consumed in small amounts, it can provide a stimulant effect. This happens due to the fact that when you first start to consume alcohol, it causes the production of the feel-good hormone known as dopamine to increase — and since dopamine makes us all feel more relaxed and confident while heightening our senses of pleasure too…well, there you have it.
CON: May Increase Anxiety/Depression
GiphyAs they say, “what goes up, most come down” at some point — and that is what you have to be careful of when it comes to alcohol consumption. For instance, when you drink alcohol, although it tends to initially cause your dopamine levels to uptick, because it is a temporary bodily response, sometimes the dips are lower than the rises…and that is when anxiety starts to kick in. A similar point is made with depression because oftentimes, people with depression-related symptoms, will use alcohol as a way to deflect from what’s really going on with them — and that can make them feel even worse than ever once the buzz of alcohol starts to wear off.
PRO: Has Some Heart-Related Benefits
GiphyWhen it comes to your heart, there are interesting findings surrounding its relationship to alcohol. For instance, some research states that, so long as the consumption is moderate, alcohol can actually help to increase the good cholesterol in your system while also breaking down proteins that can potentially lead to blood clots; both of these factors alone can reduce your chances of dying from heart disease.
CON: Packs on Pounds
GiphyIt’s no secret that alcohol tends to contain quite a few calories. That’s why, it’s not uncommon for people who’ve lost weight to mention “I’ve stopped drinking” as one of the causes for the shed pounds. That’s not to say that there aren’t some alcoholic beverages that have less calories than others including vodka (133 calories per serving), white wine (148 calories per serving) and tequila (99 calories per shot). Just keep in mind that the more you drink, the more calories get into your system and the more weight you stand to gain.
PRO: Lowers Inhibitions
GiphyAlthough you really should only be uninhibited around people who you absolutely trust, if that person is your partner and you’re looking to have a pretty — eh hem — active evening, alcohol can certainly help to make that happen. The science of it all is the prefrontal cortex of your brain is what regulates your inhibitions and levels of self-control. Meanwhile, alcohol suppresses your inhibitions which can cause you to be more spontaneous and open to trying things that you might not immediately do if you were sober. And with the right individual, that can be sexually beneficial (emphasis on “right person”).
CON: Makes It Harder to Orgasm
GiphyOn the other hand, as odd as it may seem (in light of what I just said), if you have too much alcohol in your system, it could make climaxing difficult. That’s because orgasms happen, in part, due to your nervous system being stimulated — and since alcohol is technically a depressant…well, it could reduce nerve sensitivity (especially as far as your clitoris goes) for you while making it challenging for your partner to remain erect or have consistent stamina. And yeah, that sucks.
____
‘Tis the season. And with that, if some wassails or hot buttered rums are in your immediate future — hey, don’t let me stop you — not even a lil’ bit.
All I’m saying is now that you know what alcoholic drinks have to offer (both ways), you can know exactly how to incorporate them into your holiday plans. Enjoy!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Unsplash