Angela Bassett Has This Message For People Who Think She Looks "So Young"
Is it me, or does Angela Bassett still look the same as she did in 1993?
The phrase "age ain't nothin' but a number" may have been coined by Aaliyah, but truly comes to life in the form of Angela Bassett. Women are like wine, as we grow older, we become more of a commodity; a fact that is especially true for this timeless actress, who recently sat down with Allure magazine and revealed that she is damn tired of everyone telling her that she looks young for her age.
Allure
In the interview, she even recounted a time when a woman in Whole Foods told her that she looked "so young", to which she replied:
"Hearing that is a wonderful thing — seeing as I'm 80!'"
She explained that although she's flattered that she can keep the public wondering how she's snatched our wigs for decades with her ageless beauty and immaculate physique, ageism has become a major factor in her career. She explained:
"As we advance, 60 is the new 40, or 70 is the new 50. It keeps getting pushed. But you have to keep the stress down and the attitude hot."
Thanks to our social media-centric generation, Angela gets to test these standards in her career everyday. In season 3 of American Horror Story, the actress plays an immortal voodoo queen and proves to the world that black don't crack, literally. She shared:
"Yeah, black don't crack. I appreciate that about Ryan Murphy's work, the stories he's interested in telling. He has a brave voice; he's outspoken. [Coven] was a gumbo of social and feminist issues — femininity and womanhood, also ageism and racism, provocative and topical. It was a really powerful season. What it gives you, the actor, is filet mignon, when you've been used to Twinkies."
Although Angela's former work may have been twinkies in her opinion, they were ones that we ate right up. From How Stella Got Her Groove Back to Tina Turner in What's Love Gotta Do With It, Angela Bassett has proven to be one hell of an actress and even more of an icon.
In the 2016 elections, Angela worked with Hillary Clinton's campaign to garner the democratic vote. Her work, by her own definition, is the true definition of real feminism.
Angela's revealed that the road to her spectacular career started at an HBCU and landed her at Yale, where she would ultimately meet the love of her life. Thanks to her mother's high expectations and her undeniable talent, the young actress found herself with two degrees and a life full of potential ahead of her.
"Looking at these pamphlets, these white kids sitting on the grassy knoll with their books… There was no idea at that point that [my mother and I] would go around to these campuses and speak to the kid. You're going to college. Soon as you graduate, you're outta here. Pick any college and go. Lo and behold, got into Howard — thought that's where I'm going. A historically black college, Washington, D.C. Then Yale! You don't get into Yale every day, and my mama is freaking out on the sofa over there. And I only have to take out a loan for 1,200 bucks."
Recently, Angela returned to Yale to accept an honorary doctorate in fine arts, and revealed that it was a surreal experience that brought on a whirlwind of nostalgia.
"It was great to go back to that campus. Those corridors. It comes rushing back, that feeling of being 18 and meeting new folk from around the world, negotiating stuff you never saw before. The food. What is this called — London broil? I'd never been around so many choices in my life. And who are all these people? What is Exeter? Oh, your daddy's a what? Senator, doctor, lawyer. My mother is a data processor for Health and Human Services. Welfare. But I'm here. On financial aid. Doing theater."
Angela has proven to the world that a little black girl from Harlem can grow up to be the Mother of Wakanda, a Yale Graduate, or even an Oscar-winning voodoo queen if she works hard enough. In the interview, she also recalled the time she thought about giving up. She said:
"I said, 'Oh, Uncle Charles, I was supposed to be out here for only six months, but I'm working,'. And he said, 'Baby, don't get off a winning horse.'"
Angela is proof that age doesn't matter when your hustle is timeless, and is a reminder to stop telling women they look young for their age. No matter where we lie on the spectrum of age, we slay.
Click here to read the full interview.
Featured image by Getty Images
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images