Is The Grind For The Corner Office Putting Us In the Casket?
Mikki Taylor, ESSENCE Editor and author of the newly acclaimed Editor and Chic, changed my life with one quote, "Queens do not belong on well-being welfare."
I think I was on the third trip to my primary care doctor and had about four brush strokes filled with clumps of hair before I realized that paying attention to myself was no longer an option but a necessity.
Stress kept me rolling around in the bed for hours before the alarm clock, exhausted before I began the day, running for shots of espresso at 3 pm, and dragging myself to bed with aching muscles and punching bags under my eyes.
Related: Spiked Spin Founder Brianna Owens On How She Balances 18-Hour Workdays & Cycling
I wore the fact that I Paid Time Off that carried over because I refused to take a day off. It proved a lack of commitment and I found myself doing so in hopes that this entity would value my loyalty. The same entity that would steamroll over bodies and simply "replace" countless employees who left on a medical leave from nothing other than pure exhaustion.
World Health Organization (WHO) and National Institute of Mental Health quotes from a 2017 survey says anxiety disorders affect 18.1 percent of adults in the United States (approximately 40 million adults between the ages of 18 to 54). And a lot more go unreported every year.
In Black Girl Magic History of Push Through, we often ignore the very real and tangible signs that our body gives us to slow down:
- Upset stomach,
- Waking up fatigued,
- Tension in the muscles,
- Frequent headaches, and
- Chest pain.
Nonetheless, it's unrealistic to say that our lives can be lived without stress but how we choose to cope with stress can ultimately either shorten or prolong our lives. It is that serious. We have been taught as black and brown people to trudge through enormous amounts of pain in order to reach a far reaching goal.
However, there are things you can do to make time for you and organize the chaos causing you stress:
- Prepare the Day Before: Before leaving the office, I cue up any work I have to complete the next day and set reminders for the next morning.
- Create a Daily Master Plan: Creating a time management schedule will allow you to schedule productivity in an effective and regimented way. Having a morning ritual that begins way before you enter the workplace including a relaxing shower, water with lemon, and a morning coffee is important. I also take a few moments to look at my calendar to mentally prepare for what is going to happen that day.
- Utilize Your PTO: I have a 2-days a month rule or one week every season vacation rule.
- After Work "Me" Time: I can't wait to clock out today because Travis - my massage therapist and I - have a date at 6 pm. On days where he is not working the stress out of my body, I take a warm bath or run on the treadmill. Whatever it takes for you to have a few minutes to yourself to process the day and unwind, do it!
- Invest In You: So, I hated my job and complained about it every day but made absolutely no moves to change it. It wasn't until I took advantage of the tuition reimbursement benefit and the seminar/conference advance pay that I realized it is important to use your current circumstances to fund your aspirations. Also, take advantage of any pre-tax benefits your organization may afford including retirement, commuter benefits, health spending, or flexible spending accounts. Budget for the things that make you happy and not just the bills. I LOVE eating at a new restaurant at least once a week and travel. Knowing this, I plan to take one big trip a year and budget for the luxury of dining at somewhere posh once a month.
Stress will come but if we can identify what triggers it, we can proactively hinder it from inflicting permanent damage on us. Remember, you are the boss of your own life.
Want more stories like this? Check out these xoNecole related reads:
To Live A Purpose-Filled Life, You Have To Leave Your Comfort Zone
10 Ways To Develop An Entrepreneurial Mindset
Why I Started Rocking Box Braids In The Boardroom
6 Side Hustles You Can Employ While You're Unemployed
Featured image by Shutterstock
- Health Effects of Work-Related Stress | Examinetics ›
- Work Related Stress - 6 Common Causes ›
- After‐effects of job‐related stress: Families as victims - Jackson ... ›
- Stress at work - Work-related stress and how to tackle it - HSE ›
- Job-Related Stress Can Have Fatal Consequences - The Atlantic ›
- Coping With Stress at Work ›
- Work-Related Stress A Guide for Employers ›
- Job Killing You? 8 Types of Work-Related Stress - Health ›
- Work-related stress - Better Health Channel ›
Danielle Kimberly is a Jersey girl and a health & wholeness educator. Read her humorous & habit forming stories for women of faith on www.luxevoyage.org. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter @dannikimberly.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Willow Smith Opens Up About Reality Of Being A Black ‘Nepo Baby’
Singer Willow Smith may come from one of Hollywood’s royal families, but when it comes to her artistry and success, it's been anything but a breeze.
In her cover story interview with Allure, the “t r a n s p a r e n t s o u l” artist opened up about her views on being a “nepo baby,” noting that while she recognizes her privilege, her work ethic doesn’t conform to the characterization associated with nepotism.
“I truly believe that my spirit is a strong spirit and that, even if my parents weren't who they were, I would still be a weirdo and a crazy thinker,” she tells the publication.
“I definitely think that a little bit of insecurity has driven me harder because people do think that the only reason I'm successful is because of my parents. That has driven me to work really hard to try to prove them wrong. But nowadays, I don't need to prove shit to anybody.’"
Despite her famous last name, the 23-year-old singer shares how the music industry often tries to keep Black women in their place, adding an extra layer to the effort she must put in to succeed.
“There have been some experiences where I went into a place that I have worked in the past and my picture could even be up on the wall, and they treat me like, ‘This is a little bit out of your price range’ or ‘You don't really belong here,’” she says.
She continues, “Being Black in America, even with privilege, which I'm never going to deny that I have, you're still Black. And I love being Black. People would look at me and [say], ‘Okay, well, her parents are this and this and that, but she still is like me. She still has brown skin.’ And we all know that that doesn't exempt you from anything, and that's a place of connection.”
Smith has consistently embraced transparency regarding her lifestyle choices beyond her music career. In May, she told Pop Sugar where the source of her reflective approach comes from. "I think I'm in a place right now in my life where I'm realizing that there's no destination, there's only choices every day that we make that bring us through our lives. I want to make the decision every day to be more compassionate, to be more honest, to practice my instrument with deep presence and treat it as a spiritual experience."
"I'm just interested to see what people get from this art I've been creating, and I hope that it's a cathartic experience," she says. "I just want to keep helping people be inspired and feeling like they're less alone.”
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Featured image by Darren Gerrish/WireImage for Victoria Beckham