I Had Chronic BV Until I Said Goodbye To Antibiotics & Hello To Holistic Health
Are you familiar with BV? For those of you who don't know, BV, or bacterial vaginosis, is a common vaginal infection that accounts for more than three million cases a year. It occurs when there is a bacterial imbalance within the vagina between helpful good bacteria and harmful bad bacteria. Symptoms include itching, pain, and a foul smelling fishy discharge. If it reoccurs more than four times a year, it receives the apt title of chronic, or recurrent bacterial vaginosis.
While it is more common in women that are sexually active, it is not a sexually transmitted disease and can happen as a result of anything that disrupts the balance of bacteria in your vagina, i.e. douching, dieting, and using some feminine care products.
For the better half (read: worse half) of my adult life, BV made her appearance both known and felt in my life, especially in my sex life. My pH balance was all the way off. As a result, any given month, I remember dreading the six to seven days of my period coming and going, and what it'd leave in its wake. The metallic smell of blood, I could take. But the fishy aroma that would immediately appear in its absence was hella embarrassing.
BV was the bane of my existence and the fact that it seemed to come back just as quickly as it seemed to leave, made me think that something was wrong with me. Because, wasn't it?
My gynecologist thought so too. I would soon come to dread stripping from the waist down to put my feet into stirrups and be examined for the very thing I knew it was, just to do the same song and dance of a 7-day twice a day antibiotic treatment, followed by one to two doses of metronidazole for the yeast infection the antibiotics created.
Mostly, I dreaded it because it always felt like a temporary solution, and never the cure that would be the remedy to my recurring BV forever.
Ultimately, I didn't think that relying on antibiotics as a solution was beneficial and surprisingly, I was right. After a year or two of tried and untrue methods, I spoke with a holistic gynecologist that changed my perspective and understanding of vaginal health for the better. You can avoid certain health issues if you start at the root and begin within. Thus, I decided to work on what I put inside of my body and for the most part, allowed my vagina to do her own thing.
As a result, I can happily say that I haven't been BV-free ever since. (Knock on wood). Peep the 6 essentials below to learn how to curb BV and bacterial imbalances in a holistic way and thus, your pH balance on fleek.
(Disclaimer: I am not a medical doctor. The suggestions below are in no way to replace the expertise of a medical doctor, however these methods work for me. )
Get Your Water Intake Looking Right
I've gone from the girl who barely drank two glasses of water a day, to the woman that does three liters a day. Eventually, I hope to get to a whole gallon, but Rome wasn't built in a day. The recommended intake for women is two liters, which is half a gallon. That increases depending on how active you are, and other beverages you drink throughout your day. For example, for every cup of coffee, soda, or juice, try to follow up with a glass of water.
Start with a liter a day, and when that comes naturally, increase it to two liters. The important thing is to begin somewhere. Over time, drinking your recommended daily water intake is going to be the equivalent of breathing – just that easy.
Downloading a water app like my personal favorite, Waterlogged, will help you keep track of how much water you're consuming on any given day and will help you keep up with your goals.
Take A Shot Of Apple Cider Vinegar
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Apple cider vinegar doesn't include The Mother for no reason. The all-in-one vinegar can be used to remedy a lot of things, including sore throats, varicose veins, hyperpigmentation, dandruff, high blood pressure, weight issues, etc. Luckily for us, it can also assist with maintaining the body's pH.
Drink 1-2 shots of apple cider vinegar at the start of your day – be sure to dilute it with some water first. Likewise, you can take an ACV bath with some hot water and Apple Cider Vinegar. Soak for half an hour and consider yourself, balanced. Repeat the remedy up to three times a week.
Incorporate Fermented Foods & Drinks
In addition to fruits and veggies, adapt to a cleaner diet. Cook more, eat out less. Limit the junk food and reach for something healthy. Nowadays, I have decreased a lot of the sugar that I used to consume. I've learned that you can get your sugar tooth fix in other healthier ways, like the sugar from fruit. One of my favorite fruit indulgences lately are acai smoothie bowls. In addition to that, it's important to incorporate fermented foods and drinks into your daily diet.
Fermented foods and drinks include fermentation of bacteria strains that promote a healthy pH balance, which can do wonders for optimal vaginal care. Examples of fermented foods and drinks include:
- Sauerkraut
- Kimchi
- Kefir
- Yogurt
- Miso
- Pickles
- Tempeh
- Kombucha
Implement A Daily Probiotic Supplement
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If you find it difficult to have kimchi, yogurt, or kombucha on the regular, investing in a probiotic supplement to take daily will allow you to get the probiotics that you need without relying too heavily on a diet that might be inconsistent at times. It's always recommended to get your nutrients or benefits from food sources first, but if you can't, that's where probiotics supplements come into play.
Probiotics promotes better gut health, which in turn helps with your pH balance in addition to a wealth of other benefits like preventing and treating UTIs, improving digestion, and boosting your immune system.
Recommended: Dr. Formulated Probiotics Once Daily
Choose Feminine Care Products Wisely
Cleanliness is next to godliness, but the great thing about a vagina is that she is naturally self-cleaning. You don't have to do all this extra stuff to clean her. Use a gentle wash externally, make sure it's completely dry before putting clothes on, and keep it moving. The sprays, the feminine washes, etc can mask themselves as feminine care products, but those products actually tend to be loaded with chemicals and parabens that irritate the vagina and throw off its natural balance.
If you feel like having a spray or a vagina-specific wash is necessary, stick to products with natural ingredients and remember the motto: the less fragrance, the better. The wash below is 100% natural and organic with a list of ingredients I can actually understand – extra virgin olive oil, avocado oil, sea buckthorn oil, and beeswax. It's fairly odorless but still cleansing and moisturizing.
Recommended: Medicine Mama's Vmagic Feminine Wash
Treat BV with Boric Acid Suppositories
I know, I know the words "acid" and "suppositories" do not bring the best imagery to mind, but I promise you your vaginal health will love you for this addition to your self-care routine. Initially, I believed that it could only be used during an infection, but was told by my gyno to consider adding it to my routine on Sundays for maintenance. As it turns out, boric acid has been used to treat vaginal infections like candida and BV for hundreds of years. And since I added it to my lifestyle as a means of self-care, keeping up with it is easy.
I just simply insert it with a disposable applicator, and put on a pantyliner for the night, and call it a day. It's been a beautiful and seemingly effortless way to maintain my pH balance and restore the glory of my vaginal health.
Recommended:NutraBlast Boric Acid Vaginal Suppositories
Your vagina isn't designed to smell like roses, but it isn't designed to smell like a fish market either. Luckily, by switching up your lifestyle in exchange for some of the aforementioned holistic health habits, your vagina will be feeling and smelling better than ever. No infection zone.
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Originally published on December 17, 2017
Featured image by Shutterstock
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Honestly, I don’t know if it will surprise y’all or not to know that a few years back, Vice published an article entitled, “Women Get Bored in Bed Faster Than Men.” When it comes to the clients I work with, what I will say is men tend to underestimate how creative women can be while women seem to overlook that men fake orgasms just about as much as they do. My grand takeaway from all of this? Folks need to be intentional when it comes to keeping the spice alive in their sex life; especially if they’re in a long-term relationship.
That’s why, when one couple came to me and asked what was something that they could do to light the fire (pun intended) in their own bedroom, the first thing that I asked was if they had ever tried wax play before. You should’ve seen the expression on their faces. LOL.
When it comes to things like that, I think that it’s still taboo for some, simply because they’ve only seen it on a movie screen or heard about it in true extreme sexual contexts — and so, they don’t think that it’s something that is “for them” when, the reality is, with the right tips in tow, wax play can be for pretty much anyone…and everyone.
So today, let’s add something new to some of y’all’s boudoir list of activities. Here are 10 things that will, hopefully, help you to see the flames of wax play (I’ve got puns all over the place today) in a whole new light.
1. Anticipation Does Wonders for Sexual Arousal
GiphyI once read an article by a mental health expert who said that anticipation is probably the greatest aphrodisiac of all. It builds excitement. It fuels curiosity. At the end of the day, it’s like a mental form of edging because you’re getting close to something that you look forward to — although you’re not quite there yet. Listen, he’s not off base because even science says that anticipation can give you a dopamine hit that can ultimately improve your sexual experiences.
Keeping this point in mind, how can watching hot wax drip from a candle and head toward your body not fuel some level of anticipation? Especially if it’s your first few times trying it? A woman by the name of Ana Monnar once said, “Anticipation is sometimes more exciting than actual events.” Just something to consider, when it comes to entertaining bringing wax play into your world, my dear.
2. Wax Play Is Peak-Level Foreplay
GiphyWe all know what foreplay is, right? Just to be sure that we’re all on the same page, a very basic definition is it’s something that typically happens right before sex in order to arouse the people who are about to have it. And since foreplay is pretty much the prelude to copulation, it’s important that “the appetizer” is damn near as good as the “main course.” Wax play can help to ensure that because, aside from what I just said about anticipation, it can also help you and your partner tap into your more sensual and seductive sides. It’s hot. It requires being mindful. And since so much give and take is involved, it requires both people to be very into the moment. Lawd. Wax play is sexy to even just think about!
3. Temperature Pleasure Is Lots of Fun
GiphyOkay, say that you’ve never played with wax (in this way) before. Have you ever incorporated ice cubes? I ain’t gonna let y’all get ALL up in my business, so…let me just say (for now) that some ice during oral sex ain’t neva hurt nobody…quite the contrary! There’s something about the unexpected cool that mixes around with the warmth of a mouth that is truly unmatched. Along these same lines, wax play brings in the heat and, what makes temperature pleasure/play so awesome is, that it uses the sensations of different temperatures to bring out different forms of stimulation.
Another thing that’s worth noting about temperature pleasure is if you’re someone who considers yourself to be on the sexually conservative side yet you do like this type of activity, whether you realize it or not, you’re low-key participating in a form of kink (yep!). This brings me to my next point.
4. Wax Play Is an Introduction to Kink
GiphyIt’s kind of interesting how some people clam up at the thought of a (sexual) kink when the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s about having a certain type of sexual experience (as opposed to a fetish that focuses on objects or body parts; like a foot fetish, for example). So, if it’s that simple, why does it intimidate a lot of folks? Well, kinks tend to delve into people’s fantasies or unconventional ways of thinking (like BDSM or voyeurism).
At the same time, the cool thing about kinks is you control how deep you want to go. Just know that if you do participate in wax play, there’s no point in turning up your nose to the whole kink thing; wax play technically qualifies.
5. Soy Does One Thing. Paraffin Does Another.
GiphyOkay, so let’s spend a couple of moments talking about the things that you need to get the most out of your wax play experience. First, please don’t be out here imitating movies. While they will have you believing that you should pull a taper candle from your dining room table and go ham with it, it’s best to go with massage candles; they are specifically designed for wax play and body massages (The Knot has a recommendation list here and Women’s Health has a list of their own here).
When it comes to candles, in general, I’m always a fan of soy because they burn cleaner and last longer. However, when it comes to wax play, two other reasons why soy is best is it’s natural and “burns lower;” this simply means that once the wax hits your body, it won’t be as hot as, say, paraffin wax will (because it has a higher burning point).
What all of this means is if you want a more comfortable experience, go with a soy (or even a shea butter or beeswax) candle. If you want to play with the big (wax play) kids, try paraffin.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if you can never use “regular” candles — I mean, it’s your body. All I’m saying is some candles are designed for wax play; birthday candles? They are not. Feel me?
6. Massage Candles Feel Incredible on Your Muscles and Joints
GiphySo, here’s the thing about massage candles: If you’ve ever had a professional massage before, your massage therapist may have used them. And if you’ve gotten a high-end mani/pedi, some paraffin wax may have come into play (no pun intended). That’s because the wax from both types of candles has health benefits that include relaxing muscles, improving joint mobility, and increasing blood flow throughout the body. And when you factor in the fact that the better you physically feel before sex, the better sex will be during it — isn’t that just one more plus for and perk of wax play? I definitely think so.
7. The Aromatherapy Is Incomparable
GiphySomething else that’s awesome about most massage candles is they have a wonderfully alluring scent to them, by design. Yes, that matters too because there is plenty of data out here to support the fact that aromatherapy does everything from reduce stress and relieve bodily discomfort to treat headaches and fight off infections (word on the street is that it may even help with menstrual cramps and menopause).
As far as your sex life goes, aromatherapy is supreme because certain essential oils double up as aphrodisiacs. Lavender, neroli, and rose are proven to improve your sexual function. Geranium reduces anxiety. And listen, if climaxing is your ultimate goal, check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm” and then look for massage oils that smell like, say, vanilla, saffron or jasmine. Bottom line, a good massage candle that smells amazing is going to be worth every cent that you spent to purchase it.
8. You Will Learn Communication (and Dirty Talk) on a Whole ‘Nother Level
GiphyOne of the reasons why I once penned, “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?” for the platform is because, if there’s one thing that I think is so awesome about sex, is it finds a way to incorporate all five of your senses (sight, touch, taste, sound and hearing) as well as your top love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch and gifts — if you’re open to it).
And when it comes to hearing (and words of affirmation), this is another area where wax play can be a winner because, as you’re learning what works for your partner and they learn what works for you, words have to be exchanged… perhaps even dirty ones.
And why is dirty talk so damn effective? According to scientific research, it has the ability to activate your entire brain (the biggest sex organ that you have) and when this is going on while you’re being physically stimulated — chile, the sky truly is the limit!
9. Wax Play Is Completely Customizable
GiphyYou know back when I was talking about soy candles vs. paraffin ones? Something that I didn’t mention, by design at the time, is that, although I will forever be Team Massage Candles when it comes to this particular topic, there are some known as wax play candles too. What’s the difference? Wax play candles tend to remain pretty hard (after being lit up) while massage candles are designed to melt into a liquid that you can massage on your partner’s body.
Why am I bringing this all up now? Well, it’s to serve as a reminder that wax play can be “dialed up” or “turned down” based on what you want to do. If you just want to put a twist on a massage, you can do that. If you’d like to test your partner’s tolerance level by applying more heat for longer, do that.
Just make sure that you use the kind of wax that doesn’t fully melt on shaved areas of the body (pretty sure why is self-explanatory), that you moisturize your skin beforehand (it’s easier to remove the wax…or whatever is leftover) that way and that you pour around 15-20 inches away from your partner’s body; that gives it time to cool somewhat on the way down. Oh, and if you don’t want to jack up your sheets, you might want to lay down a protective drop cloth (like this one here).
10. It Sure As Hell Ain’t Boring
Season 1 Friends GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyLast point — and it brings all of this full circle. Now that you’ve read all of the ways that wax play can benefit your sex life, how in the world could you associate it with “boring” on any level? Anything that can get you hype, cultivate eagerness, and enhance what you’ve already got going on…that is worth putting on your sex bucket list and trying at least one time, wouldn’t you say? And why can’t that time be…TONIGHT? Shoot your man a pick of a massage candle with a heart and watch him beat you home.
Then report back (with edits…LOL).
Something tells me that you’ll become a wax play fan — SOON.
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