So,here’s the thing: just like Memorial Day doesn’t mean that it is officially summertime (the summer season actually begins during the third week of June), Labor Day does not officially mark the end of it either (summer ends around the third week of September). This means that if this summer season has somehow gotten away from you, you’ve still got a few weeks to take a bit of a vacation — even if it’s a quick one.
And if what you plan to do is hit up a beach so that you can spend some time in the ocean, that can actually be rejuvenating on a few different levels. Not only has it been proven thatbeing around ocean water will de-stress you as it helps you to practice mindfulness, but some impressive health benefits come with drinking saltwater (not directly from the ocean, of course) and being in saltwater (because many oceans havea good amount of dissolved salts in them) as well.
So, as you’re in the process of confirming your reservations and packing your swimsuits, check out seven reasons that will have you wondering why you took so long to make some of your own saltwater (to consume) and get into somebody’s ocean (to rejuvenate in) before October rolls around.
The Healing Benefits of Saltwater
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1. Saltwater Benefits: Saltwater Replenishes Electrolytes
The easiest way to describe electrolytes is that they are the minerals (likecalcium, sodium, and potassium) thatyour body needs tokeep you properly hydrated, your nerves and muscles working well and your pH levels regulated. Keeping that in mind, some signs that your electrolyte levels are a little “off” are if you’re constantly feeling fatigued, your muscles are always cramping up (like a charley horse) or you have inexplicable headaches; it should also go on record that something that can cause you to lose electrolytes is if you happen to sweat a lot.
Although foods like bananas, sweet potatoes, and dark leafy green veggies can help you replenish your system of lost electrolytes,adding a bit of salt to your water can do the same thing. I’ve got some tips for how to make some of your own saltwaterhere. Also, if you want to attempt to turn ocean water into drinkable water, you can learn how to do sohere. Oh, and if you’re wondering if sea salt or table salt is better for you in the long run, it’s a semi-complex answer; you can read more about the pros and cons of bothhere.
2. Saltwater Benefits: Aids in Weight Loss
If you’re looking for a way to detox your system, you might want to look into the pros and cons of a saltwater flush. Since it has a reputation for doing things like helping to balance your hormones, keeping your metabolism working well, and removing fluid retention, that’s why it can also be used to help shed a few pounds (some say that it can help with constipation, too). Just make sure that you do thorough research before using saltwater in this fashion because, while many recipes call for two teaspoons in a quarter of water, that is actually double what’s recommended on a daily basis. This means that if you do this often, it could result in unwanted side effects like nausea, vomiting, and high blood pressure.
3. Saltwater Benefits: Exfoliates Your Scalp
As far as ocean water goes, if you’re not planning on rocking a swim cap, you should definitely soak your hair in water from a shower before taking a swim.The reason why is the properties in saltwater can end up dehydrating your hair and, if your tresses are color-treated, stripping your hair of its applied hues as well. However, if you’re looking foranother saltwater trick, applying a mixture of sea salt and water to your scalp before washing your hair can be beneficial if you’re looking for an all-natural way to exfoliate your scalp — which can remove dead skin cells and product build-up — so that your hair follicles are able to flourish and you can end up with a head of strong and healthy hair. There is a quick and easy sea salt scalp scrub recipehere.
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4. Saltwater Benefits: Saltwater Is Great for Oral Health
Maintaining proper oral health is so important and doing periodic saltwater rinses is one way to keep your teeth and gums in good condition. That’s because saltwater has been proven to do things like remove the bacteria that ultimately leads to tooth decay, help restore the pH balance in your mouth, get rid of plaque, and speed up the healing process of various oral procedures (like extractions). Just make sure that you use warm water and no more than a teaspoon of salt in an eight-ounce glass to get the most effective results.
5. Saltwater Benefits: Detoxifies the Skin
Since it’s been said that ocean water has trace minerals in it, that’s part of the reason why swimming in it can be great when it comes to helping to heal skin irritation and itchiness, inflammation, soothing eczema, exfoliating your skin, reducing acne-causing bacteria, unclogging your pores and even increasing blood circulation in your skin. Some skincare specialists even say that saltwater can loosen up dandruff flakes; again, just make sure that your hair has been prepped with water and, if you plan to be in ocean water for a long period of time, you may want to apply a leave-in conditioner to your locks too.
6. Saltwater Benefits: Improves Your Breathing
When you get a chance, check out the article, “With Every Breath You Take, Thank the Ocean.” Apparently, over half of our oxygen comes from things in the ocean, like phytoplankton and seaweed. Not only that, but since you probably already know that saline can serve as a natural decongestant and saline is basically saltwater, it would make all of the sense in the world that taking in the air from ocean water would be good for your respiratory system too. I’ve even read that the salt, iodine, and magnesium that are found in the air that’s around the ocean can help to break up mucus that’s in your system. Plus, ocean air has very little air pollution in it which is always a major plus.
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7. Saltwater Benefits: Improves Your Quality of Rest/Sleep
If you’ve ever taken a vacation, got a hotel room that was right off of the beach, and realized that you have super fond memories of it being some of the best rest and sleep that you’ve ever experienced in your life — there is definitely a science to that. There is plenty of research out here to support the fact that chilling out around the ocean (or sea) can help to decrease anxiety and depression levels, increase your serotonin levels and, if you’ve got arthritis, a dip in the ocean before turning in can help to reduce bodily inflammation as well.
As a bonus, grounding (which is basically when you walk on the beach by the water) can help your bare feet absorb electrons from the earth and the water which also can help to reduce bodily discomfort. Just one more reason to get a beach weekend in before summer officially ends — and to pack up some salt (to consume) while you’re at it. Don’t cha think? Definitely.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Waiting To See If They Are ‘The One?’ These Dating Tests Will Prove If Bae Is A Keeper Or A Counterfeit.
We’ve all been there: you meet the special person who sweeps you off your favorite stilettos. The rose-colored glasses are glued on tightly, and the butterflies in your stomach are fluttering and leave you woozy in infatuation and hope.
You can’t wait to dive into the group chat and gush to your girlfriends that you’ve finally met someone worthy of the goodness of you. And then the caveat hits. “I dunno, girl, I hope they are the one. We’ll see.”
While some women resort to the auspices of time sorting their nebulous love life out, the rest of us with little-to-no patience for wasting precious time, scram to our arsenal of weeding out mechanisms, aka relationshiptests.
Deploying CIA operative-level strategic tests just to prove whether bae is a keeper or a counterfeit may conjure a hard eye roll, deep sigh, or exhaustion–because who really wants to add one more task to an already booked and busy agenda? No one wants to play mental gymnastics when love should ideally come effortlessly. But the more intentional and prudent you are in the initial stages of dating–the more time, energy, and resources you save in the long run. (Not to mention, save on any potential heartbreak).
Here are four tried-and-true relationship tests:
The Soup Test
If your momma, auntie, or granny ever warned you, “Never buy a man a pair of shoes, because they’ll be the same shoes he’ll walk out of life with,” and yet, you proceeded without caution because you were so desperately in love that you bought him Jordans for his birthday on credit anyway, then you already know that gifting bae accouterments–anything from a homecooked meal to material goods–is a defining factor to test whether he’s a seat filler or the main attraction.
One judicious woman on Threads has coined her relationship test as “the soup test.” She suggests, “If you wanna know if someone actually likes you or views you as a convenience/space filler, try the soup test (as long as you’re open to getting dumped lol).”
She hypothesizes, “If you make your situationship something nice to eat as a gift (soup, a nice dinner, banana bread, etc.), they will likely break up with you within the week.”
Meanwhile, the person who does value you and desires a long-term relationship will appreciate you and your thoughtful efforts.
Both men and women are confirming that the Soup Test has merit. One woman shared, “I was seeing a guy for a couple months and made him cupcakes for his birthday. I never got the cupcake holder back…”
One bold man admitted, “Broke up with my last girlfriend after she tried to cook a meal for me in my flat after looking after my pet while I was away. She thought it would be a sweet thing for when I got home, I felt like it was part of a pattern of her trying to make my space ‘our’ space and over-inserting herself into my life. So I guess this is anecdotal evidence from the other side that ‘the soup test’ works 🤦🏼♂️. Still feel like an arsehole.”
The Sick Test
Taking wedding vows, promising to love your spouse “in sickness and in health,” isn’t just for married folks; it’s a great temperature test to unequivocally determine if the person you’re dating cares for you and has imprinted you as a meaningful part of their future.
I’ve been using the “sick test,” for nearly a decade, when I noticed how the vast majority of the men I was casually dating (and had high hopes that it would evolve into more) would disappear during my quarantine and resurface once I was back to good health. Only in rare instances, did a couple of long-term partners show up in my time of need, or display deep empathy.
Like my platonic male friend who I had zero attraction for. He’d send both me and our mutual girlfriends care packages whenever we were under the weather. Naturally, upon reflecting on the countless ways he showed up for me, like none of his predecessors, I fell in love with him. His generosity ignited a relationship that lasted four years.
The sick test taught me that if you tell the person you’re dating about your infirmities and they say, “Aww, feel better,” girl, run! Delete, block, and move on because if he or she doesn’t care about you at your lowest, there will likely be more areas of your life that they will be absent or unsupportive in.
Conversely, when you’re the one with a robust roster, the sick test can immediately give you clarity on who to kick to the curb. In the initial stages of meeting two guys–one was a talent manager, the other was an entrepreneur–I’d gone on lovely dinner dates with both guys when the talent manager abruptly became sick and had to cancel our second date. I gave him a long list of healthy natural remedies to quell his flu and wished him well.
Around the same time, the entrepreneur with who I had undeniable chemistry and visions of birthing his children, had also come down with a cold, and though I had a jam-packed work schedule and lived 35 miles away from him, I eagerly offered to buy the same healthy natural remedies I did for the other guy and trek out to his house to make sure he got them.
And then it hit me – I had to snip the talent manager from the short-listed roster. Once I came down with a nasty cold months later, and the entrepreneur was by my side to take care of me, it confirmed that the sick test facilitated the best man winning me over.
The Provision Test
If you are seeking a provider, discerning whether they have a provider spirit before you co-sign the lease, start a family, or say “I do,” will save you tremendous time and effort. Many women often ask, “How do I know if he’s a provider?”
Internet dating guru, Leticia Padua, aka SheraSeven advocates to test to see if a man is a provider by asking him to fulfill a financial need.
“If he offers to do something for you financially; If you come up with a fake problem that costs money to solve, and he solves it.”
A girlfriend of mine was dating a successful Black engineer for a few months, and she had a real problem to solve. Her engineer beau boasted that he was great at building things, and if she ever needed anything to let him know. As such, when she ordered a brand-new orthopedic bed that required assembly, she decided to see if he was a man who was committed to his word and would fulfill her need.
When he asked her what her weekend plans were, she lamented that she needed to spend considerable time assembling her oversized bed. He brushed off her laborious task and said they’d connect the following weekend. It wasn’t until she subsequently broke the courtship off and voiced her concern over his lack of help that he said he would have assisted her if she had asked.
Though she failed to directly ask for his help, a true provider would’ve heard her problem and provided a solution. He would’ve paid for a service like Task Rabbit or rolled up his sleeves since he flaunted that he was “a great builder.” Men who are bonafide providers are generous givers who love to solve a problem. While men who prioritize themselves, are takers who will do the bare minimum or not even lift a finger when you need their help.
The Removal Prayer
Social media is abuzz with endless anecdotes and comedic skits sharing the consensus of the infamous prayer that will expeditiously usher in newfound clarity to the situationship or relationship you’re in.
Coined as “the removal prayer” it’s a simple request, petitioning God to reveal if the person you’re dating is The One. When you can’t see the forest from the trees, the removal prayer mashes the gas pedal on sifting through the frogs and your prince.
But as with any test, you must brace yourself for what happens next. If you don’t have the strength to cut the wrong one off, don’t worry, God will discard them before you can say “amen.” I can’t tell you how many dates I wasted hoping, waiting, and wishing it would work out. After trying every draconian measure in the playbook, including abstinence, I was still coming up immeasurably short. One day, I threw up my hands and relinquished my miserable dating life to God.
Upon exchanging numbers with any new suitor, I began to always ask God to reveal their true character and intentions, and to remove them if they are not “The One.” Ever since then, I’ve witnessed countless counterfeits masquerading as husband material, surreptitiously vanish.
Sometimes, it stings when the one you had lofty hopes for evaporates into the air–especially if you’ve invested several months or years. But it’s better to cut your losses sooner than later and create a healthy space for the right one to find you.
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