It's interesting how people will assume that you're constantly unhappy, bitter, or discontent merely because of your relationship status…or lack thereof. People need to understand that: 1) being single doesn't mean your life is stagnant or that your life is on pause; 2) being in a relationship or being married isn't necessarily for everyone, and just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean your life is perfect; and 3) some people actually choose or prefer to be single…and that's totally fine.
Yes - I can attest to the fact that being married and being in love is truly one of the greatest experiences in life and I live for some #BlackLove and love seeing others experience true love. However, that doesn't negate the fact that there are more than enough examples of dope and incredible women who are living their best lives as single women as well. They're single and loving it (or making the best of it as some would say)…and it's likely because somewhere along life's journey they, like many of us, have learned to embrace these seven affirmations as it relates to their single season:
1. My single status is a blessing, not a burden.
It's obvious to you that now is the best time to live your best life. There's no better time to put yourself first. You are walking boldly and proudly in your season because you understand that a relationship status doesn't make you; rather, who you are and what you decide to do with your life and your purpose is what makes you. You refuse to allow others to make you feel some type of way about your single season, whether it's by choice or force.
2. Relationship Goals: love God, love myself, love others…and in that order.
It might've taken some time, but now you understand that these are the most realistic #RelationshipGoals that you're interested in. You understand now more than ever that God wouldn't send you a relationship that would cause you to ruin your relationship with Him. Hence, when your priorities are right, then the love will be right. When it comes to the next relationship, you have basically declared: "if God ain't in it, then I don't want to be in it." There was a time when you made the relationship the priority above everything else in your life, but later realized that you thought you found love but ended up losing yourself. Now, you've made yourself a priority and have learned how to love and embrace yourself before trying to love someone else.
3. I deserve to be with someone who is not only interested in me, but also intentional with me.
You can tell a lot about a man's interest in you based on how intentional he is toward you…and now you're able to tell the difference. You're paying attention to whether or not he's making excuses or making an effort because you truly believe that you're worth the date. Texting isn't enough. Snapchat isn't enough. You've made it known that in order for them to really get to know you, they will have to spend quality time with you.
4. If a man wants to be with me, then he’ll be with me.
You understand that the one who wants to be with you will make it clear not merely through his words, but through his actions. You're no longer wearing yourself out trying to force someone to be with you or forcing them to change, because you also realize that you can't do that anyway. You've told yourself and you may have even told him that if he wants to make it work, then he'll put in the work. If he loves you, then he'll be good to you and good for you. You have decided that the only man you may ever chase after again in life will be the Ice Cream Man.
5. I will no longer make excuses for people who need to be excused from my life.
You are no longer holding onto people or putting your life on hold for someone who is holding you back. You waited long enough and you gave them enough time to "get ready" for a relationship. Ultimately, you allowed their indecision to help you make a decision that would help you, and you found the good in goodbye. You decided that you no longer wanted be connected to dysfunction, and instead, you wanted to meet up with your destiny. Now, more than ever, you realize that God has too much that He wants to do through you and for you to be wasting time with people who aren't meant to be in your life.
6. I am enough. If I can’t be myself, then I can’t be with them.
You're okay if they walk away because you understand your value, your worth, and your standards, and you refuse to settle for anything less than you deserve. You no longer act like a "relationship chameleon" and change who you are based on who you're dating. You understand that real love means they love the real you…"flaws and all." Yes – all of us change and evolve as life goes on and there are times when we have to compromise in relationships. However, you are no longer compromising your morals, values, or character merely for the sake of being in a relationship. You are committed to staying true to yourself and who you aspire to be.
7. I am right where I’m supposed to be.
You trust the timing of your life, and you're learning to embrace where you are on your journey. You realize that you are not alone, and you acknowledge that you're right where you're supposed to be. Gone are the days when you used to feel like you had to be married and have children by a certain age. You're no longer stressed or obsessed with living your life based on other people's timelines or societal pressures. You understand that comparison kills confidence, so you're more focused on living your life rather than someone else's life who you only see on social media.
Life has shown you – through your personal experiences and even the experiences of others - that even though things don't always go as planned, God's timing is always perfect. Just because it hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean that it won't. You have declared that, "if it's meant to happen, it will happen at the right time, at the right place, with the right person, and for the right reasons."
Featured image by Getty Images
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