The Sex Positions That Should Absolutely Be On Your Must-Hit List
As I write this, it is day 52 of sexlessness and your girl is still learning how to deal. In the past, I've gone into dry spells seeking refuge to reconnect with myself, to detox, and to reset. The difference between now and then? Then, I wasn't interested in having sex with anyone. Now? I'm hella interested in one someone in particular, and I'm counting down the days until our bodies meet. I'm refraining from pleasure for the delayed gratification that I know is coming for me (and cumming for me). And I know, it's going to be so delicious.
Why am I going into detail about any of this? Well xoTribe, let me tell you, the struggle is real.
Everything about sex is intriguing me more than it should. I find myself fantasizing about throwing that ass in a circle for just about anyone whose smile I can get lost in enough. And don't get me started on my late-night (and sometimes midday) vibrator rendezvous. My mind constantly wanders to sex, so much so, texts and talks with bae become X-rated extended foreplay sessions in 60 seconds or less. Plus, my sending nudes game is on lock.
In addition to thinking about the sex I'm not having and quelling a libido that could rival a teenager's inner war of hormones, I decided to think about the sex I want to have. On my quest to constantly try new and varied sex positions, I've done a little research. If you're looking for new ones to add to your must-hit list, look no further:
The Scissor
In case you weren't aware, the scissor sex position can be an amazing option for those of us with vaginas to achieve orgasm. (Don't believe me? Check out this article here.) Word on the street, it's quite the orgasmic experience for all parties involved. As its name suggests, you and your partner will create a "scissors" formation.
The receiving partner will lie on their side, with their other leg on top of that one. They will then raise their leg for the penetrative partner to gain access to the vagina or anus. The penetrative partner will lie down too but in the other direction with their head towards the receiving partner's feet. Their legs will end up inter-crossed between each other's bodies, and all the penetrative partner has to do is thrust.
The Amazon
The Amazon sex position turns the woman on top style up a notch. Recommended for more "fit" couples, this position can prove to be slightly difficult. But if you get it right, the dominance and penetration you feel on top is so worth it.
The penetrative partner will be on their back with their legs pulled toward their chest. The receiving partner will squat on top of the penetrative partner, resting on the back of their partner's legs. The receiving partner can either kneel or stand up, depending on where the penetrative partner is positioned.
The Three-Legged Dog
The Three-Legged Dog is a standing sex position that works well because it allows for shallow penetration and alleviates the penetrative partner from having to hold the receiving partner's full weight. That being said, it's perfect for both anal or vaginal penetration. It's also great if you want to switch up the routine couch- and bed-centric coitus.
In order to get into this position, the receiving partner will stand in front of the penetrative partner and lift their leg at their partner's waist. The penetrative partner will hold that leg with one hand and use the other to increase the receiving partner's stability as they position their penis or their dildo to make shallow thrusts into their vagina or anus.
The Banana Split
I'm not going to lie to you, I enjoy missionary and its many variations most, but there's something about hit-it-from-the-back positions that just, well, hit different. The Banana Split is the newest entry on my must-hit list, and with good reason.
While the receiving partner is on their belly with their head down, the penetrative partner will hold them up by the waist at their hips and and thrust them from behind. The position allows for deeper penetration during the sex act and, helps more easily facilitate butt play. If you're more on the flexible side, you can show off by putting your legs in spread eagle position, hence the tongue-in-cheek name "banana split." For those of us not so with it, bend your knees so that your feet (and toes) point toward the ceiling. Position accomplished.
Sidebar: If you're a G-spot orgasm enthusiast, this variation might also do wonders for your sex life.
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This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Lauren London Is On A Journey Of Self-Love: 'I Need To Learn Who I Am Outside Of My Trauma'
Lauren London has gone through many transitions in her life, from becoming a mother to experiencing loss when her beau, Nipsey Hussle, passed, and now she is focused on self-love.
During her conversation on A Really Good Crypodcast, the beloved actress revealed her struggles with self-love and why it's important to take this time in her life to learn how to love on herself.
"I've never really functioned in self-love. I've never really functioned in self-acceptance, and this is my time to learn what that is," she shared.
"I need to learn who I am outside of my trauma, from the childhood trauma and then the adult trauma. I need to really know what it feels like to be in sovereignty with me, and that's the space that I'm in.
"I don't really know self-acceptance like that and I would like to know that. I would like to see myself the way God intended me to see myself. Not through the reflection of anyone else right now, really just through the eyes of God."
She continued, "I didn't have that growing up. I had a lot of things I had to overcome. I've been in survivor mode for many years before the tragedy (Nipsey's death), and so I need to love on Lauren. I need to see what that is."
Being an actress, Lauren opened up about some of the things that come with the territory, including going to events and parties to stay relevant.
While she said going out doesn't fill her soul, it is a constant battle with her friends and her team. But according to the mom of two, she no longer wants her identity to be tied to her work.
"I think now I'm just, again, finding home within myself," she said. When it comes to what's next for the You People star, Lauren said she doesn't know and it's okay to just be and sit in what you just accomplished.
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Feature image is by Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Glamour