As women, we often juggle so many roles, from our jobs to our households, and many of us count it all as a normal part of living our best lives. If we want to advance, upgrade, and reach our dreams, we take the steps, make the sacrifices, and enjoy the ride.
YouTube vlogger and lifestyle influencer Ijeoma Kola knows this all too well. In the past five years, sis has married the love of her life, finished out a PhD program, gotten pregnant, and relocated to a whole 'nother country---all while running a thriving online lifestyle platform that has attracted more than 80,000 followers on IG alone. She's also launched a tourism platform to connect other women to African culture and experiences, and she has been slowly but surely transitioning to a new normal as the mother of a newborn.
We caught up with Ijeoma in this xoNecole interview to talk about how she juggles being a wife and new mom, her leap into global relocation while pregnant, and how faith pushes her boss moves:
Image by Ade Osinubi
You and your husband relocated to Kenya last year, and you totally moved your life while pregnant. How was that experience?
I visited Kenya four or five times before moving here, so I was familiar with Nairobi. The first time I came, I felt super-comfortable. The infrastructure and amenities are pretty similar to America, so I didn't feel out of place here versus moving to, say, a more rural part of Kenya or of Africa. In terms of being relatively newlywed, it's been fun doing this with my husband Jonathan because he's from here and while were dating, he actually went to Nigeria for a year and a half and that's where I'm from. He ended up being in my country for a little bit and I ended up being in his country, so I think it helps us understand one another.
Although our cultural experiences growing up were different, now we get to see both sides. I've met a lot of people he went to school with and get to learn more about him a little bit deeper. It's cool to experience that. It provides another interesting dimension to our marriage for sure.
Something we considered when moving is that it's not that unfamiliar to both of us. We have extended family and friends here so that's made the transition a lot easier. Being a new mom in a new country, I was really shocked because it seems like as soon as I landed I was able to connect with three other pregnant women at the time. I have been exposed to a community of new moms. I just really felt welcomed. I find it's so easy to find a common ground with people and easy to make friends simply being pregnant.
Image by Lyra Aoko
With all the change you've experienced in the past six months, has your perspective on balance changed?
There are days that I don't do any work or there are days that I do. I have grace with myself, and I get comfortable with the fact that I can't do everything and I can't please everybody. Just letting go of the weight of having to be perfect is key. If a day goes by and I haven't exactly gotten to everything I want to do, it's totally OK. Tomorrow's another day and [if] I can't get to, [I] can go for it tomorrow.
My husband is really down for the cause and he's super-helpful. His family is also very helpful, and they'll stop by and they've been my support system. I also have a team for the work that I do---an assistant and an agent for my blog who helps with negotiating contracts and collaborations. And we have house help. It's important to surround yourself with people who can help you and to outsource tasks.
What does self-care look like for you now that you're a mom?
Whenever he's napping or I'm able to get a break, I try to do something for me. I get out of the house, and I may get my hair or my nails done. I really like working out, and I make sure I go for a walk---alone or sometimes with my husband. I do yoga and I love facials and massages. The time I do these things can vary because my son has needs and he might wake up at different times or need things [at different times].
I'm hoping that in the next few months we can get a good routine going, but for the most part that's pretty much what it looks like.
As a vloggerpreneur, how has it been in terms of transitioning your business and shifting the way you present content?
My blogging business has definitely changed. It's really been about recognizing that my audience has changed. Once I moved, my Kenyan audience grew, and with that, they have different expectations. The Kenyan market operates differently from the American market and I had to decide how to position myself. You have to know how you want to shift your content--if at all--and I had to adapt. Also, when it comes to influencer marketing, I've had to approach brands differently. For example, a Kenyan brand might have a much smaller budget and might expect different deliverables. It might shift from a focus, in America, for blog post campaigns, to more Instagram-focused in Kenya.
The last change has more to do with becoming a mom. I now have to think more about how the content I post affects other people.
Before I got married, [my blog] just had to do with me and my life. Then, once I got married, it was about me and my husband. There were things I'd post that I'd include him in, but he's not a blogger for a living, so I had to be conscious of that. Now that I'm a mom, it's about being even more mindful of how I post and maybe being a bit more private about what I post or share.
What are your plans for the future in Kenya, particularly your newest venture, the Safe Journey Retreat?
I'm a spiritual person so I try to be guided by God's calling and what He wants for my life. I try to mold what I do around that. That helps me stay balanced and grounds me. Starting the Safe Journey Retreat made sense for me. It helps me in my position here. I blogged in America, I finished school and I have this audience.
I just moved here, I love it here, and I think that everyone should experience Kenya as a beautiful place to be. It felt very natural to combine all of those---my passion for traveling and Africa in general.
Also, because I'm taking a break from [what I studied in school], it's also a good way to pursue another project as I figure out things. In the early part of my 20s, I spent a lot of time trying to strictly plan out my life. I had this grand plan and I was going to accomplish things by a certain time. Something I've learned over the past decade is that when man plans, God laughs. As much as you have goals and plans, ultimately you don't really know. If you would've talked to me back then and told me that I'd be married and moving to Kenya, I'd say, "Girl, get out of my face!" (Laughs) I try to let go of the desire to overly plan my life. I kind of go with the flow right now. As long as I'm being true to myself, and continue to uplift and inspire---what I'm called to do---I'm at peace.
For more of Ijeoma, follow her on Instagram.
Featured Image by Marta Skovro
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Then there were those who gave up their zip code altogether and found a permanent home in the skies. After years spent recruiting students for a university, Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare became a full-time travel influencer and founded her travel company, Shakespeare Agency. And she's not alone.
These stories mirror the experiences of women across the world. For millions, the pandemic induced a seismic shift in priorities and desires. Corporate careers that were once hailed as the ultimate “I made it” moment in one's career were pushed to the back burner as women quit their jobs in search of a more self-fulfilling purpose.
xoNecole spoke to these three Black women who used the pandemic as a springboard to make their wildest dreams a reality, the lessons they learned, and posed the question of whether they’ll ever return to cubicle life.
Answers have been edited for context and length.
xoNecole: How did the pandemic lead to you leaving the cubicle?
Randi: I was becoming stagnant. I was working in mortgage and banking but I felt like my personality was too big for that job! From there, I transitioned to radio but was laid off during the pandemic. That’s what made me go full throttle with entrepreneurship.
Gabrielle: I moved around a lot for work. Five times over a span of seven years. I knew I needed a break because I had experienced so much. So, I just quit one day. Effective immediately. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew I needed a break and to just regroup.
Lisa-Gaye: I was working in recruiting at a university and my dream job just kind of fell into my lap! But, I never got to fully enjoy it before the world shut down in March [2020] and I was laid off. On top of that, I was stuck in Miami because Jamaica had closed its borders due to the pandemic before I was able to return.
Randi O
xoN: Tell us about your journey after leaving Corporate America.
Randi: I do it all now! I have a podcast, I’m an on-air talent, I act, and I own a public relations company that focuses on social media engagement. It’s all from my network. When you go out and start a business, you can’t just say, “Okay I’m done with Corporate America,” and “Let me do my own thing.” If you don’t build community, if you don’t build a network it's going to be very hard to sustain.
Gabrielle: I realized in New York, there was not a lot to do for Black lesbians and queer folks. We don’t really have dedicated bars and spaces so I started doing events and it took off. I started focusing on my brand, Raw Honey. I opened a co-working space, and I was able to host an NYC Pride event in front of 100,000 people. I hit the ground running with Raw Honey. My events were all women coming to find community and come together with other lesbians and queer folks. I found my purpose in that.
Lisa-Gaye: After being laid off, I wrote out all of my passions and that’s how I came up with [my company] Shakespeare Agency. It was all of the things that I loved to do under one umbrella. The pandemic pulled that out of me. I had a very large social media following, so I pitched to hotels that I would feature them on my blog and social media. This reignited my passion for travel. I took the rest of the year to refocus my brand to focus solely on being a content creator within the travel space.
Gabrielle
xoN: What have you learned about yourself during your time as an entrepreneur?
Randi: [I learned] the importance of my network and community that I created. When I was laid off I was still keeping those relationships with people that I used to work with. So it was easy for me to transition into social media management and I didn’t have to start from scratch.
Gabrielle: The biggest thing I learned about myself was my own personal identity as a Black lesbian and how much I had assimilated into straight and corporate culture and not being myself. Now, I feel comfortable and confident being my authentic self. Now, I'm not sacrificing anything else for my career. I have a full life. I have friends. I have a social life. And when you are happy and have a full quality of life, I feel like [I] can have more longevity in my career.
Lisa-Gaye: [I'm doing] the best that I've ever done. The discipline that I’m building within myself. Nobody is saying, ‘Oh you have to be at work at this time.’ There’s no boss saying, ‘Why are you late?’ But, if I’m laying in bed at 10 a.m. then it's me saying [to myself], 'Okay, Lisa, get up, it's time for you to start working!’ That’s all on me.
xoNecole: What mistakes do you want to help people avoid when leaving Corporate America?
Randi: You have to learn about the highs and lows of entrepreneurship. You have a fast season and a slow season and I started to learn that when you're self-employed the latter season hits hard. Don't get caught up on the lows, just keep going and don't stop. I’m glad I did.
Gabrielle: I think everyone should quit their job and just figure it out for a second. You will discover so much about yourself when you take a second to just focus on you. Your skill set will always be there. You can’t be afraid of what will happen when you bet on yourself.
Lisa-Gaye: When it comes to being an influencer the field is saturated and a lot of people suffer from imposter syndrome. There is nothing wrong with being an imposter but find out how to make it yours, how to make it better. If you go to the store, you see 10 million different brands of bread! But you are choosing the brand that you like because you like that particular flavor.
So be an imposter, but be the best imposter of yourself and add your own flair, your own flavor. Make the better bread. The bread that you want.
Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
xoNecole: Will you ever return to your 9 to 5?
Randi: I wouldn’t go back to Corporate America. But I don’t mind working under someone. A lot of people try to get into this business saying, “I can't work under anyone.” That’s not necessarily the reason to start a business because you're always going to answer to somebody. Clients, brands, there’s always someone else involved.
Gabrielle: I went back! I really needed a break and I gave myself that. But, I realized I’m a corporate girl, [and] I enjoy the work that I do. I’m good at it and I really missed that side of myself. I have different sides of me and my whole identity is not Raw Honey or my queerness. A big side of me is business and that’s why I love having my career. Now I feel like my best self.
Lisa-Gaye: I really don’t. For right now, I love working for myself. It's gratifying, it's challenging, it's exciting. It’s a big deal for me to say I own my own business. That I am my own boss, and I'm a Black woman doing it.
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Featured image courtesy of Lisa-Gaye Shakespeare
Originally published on February 6, 2023