Kevin Hart Reveals Cheating On His Wife Was His Dumbest Moment
I have never believed that cheating or adultery tells the full story of the making of a man. People cheat, there is rarely a rhyme or a reason, but there is an impulse. Some of us choose to act on it, most of us don't. I understand that, but because my father had done the same thing to my mother for years after I was born, and the honesty he gives me now in my adulthood, I understand that just because a man cheats doesn't make him a cheater. And often times, even though women are conditioned to believe that their men step out because of some inadequacy in them, darling you are never the reason he can't stay faithful. He is.
Actor and comedian Kevin Hart has made it no secret about taking ownership of his actions and what his infidelity has done to his marriage. A lot can be said about a man that owns up to his past and seeks to make a better present to ensure a better future for himself. And in a recent interview with The Breakfast Club, Kevin gives us a dose of his life since news of his cheating scandal broke, his cheating, and why his wife Eniko Hart deserves more credibility than the public opinion wishes to give her.
Given the year he has had and the headlines that have circulated heavily since he announced that he had been unfaithful to his wife, Kevin addressed the elephant in the room and broached the subject of his mistakes and his infidelity immediately.
"That's Kevin Hart in his dumbest moment. That's not the finest hour of my life. With that being said, you make your bed, you lay in it… That was my f*ck up. So, I rightfully stand in front of my f*ck up, hands in the air. I'm guilty. Regardless of how it happened and what was involved and sh*t that I can't talk about – I'm guilty. I'm wrong.
Me being wrong, I'm going to face the music. I'm going to go home. I'm gonna address it. I'm gonna make my wife full aware of what's going on and the situation that I have now put us in and I'm hoping that she has a heart where she can forgive me and understand that this is not going to be a reoccurring thing. And allow me to recover from my f*cking mess of a mistake. That's what I'm trying to do not only as a man, but in teaching a lesson to my son. When you do something wrong, stand in front of your wrong sh*t, don't run away from it. This was Dad's wrong sh*t."
He also sought to make it clear that despite rumors suggesting that he has always been a cheater, he in fact never cheated on his first wife, Torrei Hart after all. And if he did, it's because the marriage had long been over. He also noted the difference between the situations. Where one marriage, he walked away. In this one, he was going to fight because he wanted to keep her.
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"I don't like people bringing up my first marriage. I left my first marriage. I got a divorce. I filed. I'm the one that said I don't want to do this anymore, I'm not happy. The infidelity and sh*t was because we were both done. So, I walked away from it… This time granted, I f*cked up. But in f*cking this up, I'm like, I gotta repair this because this is what I want. This is my foundation. This is my wife, my kids. This is, I worked for this. This is nine-plus years into this… That's the difference. As a man when you want to work to fix it, and you want to fight for what you have."
Kevin briefly talked about the events surrounding the night where the cheating happened. A cancelled trip to Barcelona led to an on-the-whim visit to Vegas where he went alone with one of his boys, no team, no security, just him, to play poker. And of course, we know how that ended.
"I learned my lesson. It's a gut punch from God. You're not invincible. You can't move the way you think you can move, I take it away like this. God, yes you can. Jesus Christ, I'm done. Don't call me for sh*t, I'm going home… Don't ask. I want no parts of it. I'm 38, about to be 40 soon. I tap out. I tap out."
Perhaps more than the public opinion that is sometimes fairly placed on him, Kevin takes issue with the fact that his wife Eniko Hart is subjected to harsh treatment by the public due to the rumors about her being a former mistress during he and his ex-wife's marriage. To the gossip site's "karma," Kevin hit them with a little truth.
"That woman didn't have nothing to do with my marriage. That woman didn't have nothing to do with me leaving my wife. Nothing. I'm separated… The image that was being attempted to be put on this woman's back wasn't a fair image and that's what I don't like. I don't like that, because she's not that. She's nothing near that. The fact that I have a prize in finding what I feel is an amazing f*cking woman. A woman that I'm lucky to call my wife, lucky to have put up with the sh*t she put up with and still allow me to say that I'm her husband, that's an amazing quality that she has that I bow down to. So, the fact that people try to take that quality away and diminish her character, that's where I almost lost it for a second."
Kevin also gave us some insight on how he and Eniko began to repair their marriage after news broke of his cheating. Because she was pregnant at the time with their son, Kenzo, Kevin took ensuring her health and well-being seriously during that time.
"That's when you have to step in as a man. I was shooting a movie, I shut down production… We went to Atlanta for a while. We talked. When you have a union, that's when you get checked. That's when the bond of your union will be questioned. Nobody's perfect. Find the perfect man so I can talk to him. I want to talk to him, so I can get advice… I'm not knocking those that are [perfect], I'm not knocking those that sit in a good light – but I promise you that those brothers or sisters have come from a place where they learned from these lessons. Without lessons, you don't have experiences. Without experiences, you don't have sh*t to change."
Although a part of him probably always knew cheating was wrong on some level, Kevin explained that the only way to truly learn right from wrong sometimes is through trial and error and by gaining experience. He thought he wanted more when in reality, he learned just how valuable his family life and his life at home were. In his words, "It don't get better."
"This is wrong because I had what I wanted. I had what I wanted because I had a foundation at home, and a family comfort. And a comfort zone. I worked so hard to get here, I built this brand, we sit on the fruits of my labor – oh my God, I am as happy as I want – what the f*ck am I doing? It don't get better, that's why it's wrong. 100% in this case, it's wrong because it's wrong."
"I'm a better man. I'm a better man because the lightbulb that has went off is the one that was supposed to go off because this line – this straight line that I'm walking on right now – there are no moments to be off balance. There are no more shots, there are no more chances. I'm done. I don't want that level of fun no more. I don't need it. I'm on some grown man different sh*t where if he doesn't involve my family, I'm not interested."
Ultimately, the growing pains Kevin Hart's mistakes have caused him to endure were necessities for the new level of man he is becoming. Where there is an admitted weakness, there is room to acquire strength if you let it.
The good sis Maya said it best, when you know better, do better.
Watch Kevin Hart's full interview with The Breakfast Club below.
Featured image by Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images