Rap Sh!t follows the unlikely yet revived friendship between Mia (KaMillion) and Shawna (Aida Osman) as they dip their perfectly pedicured toes into the world of a rap duo. The two, who belong to different worlds in the same city, in Miami, Florida, find themselves randomly paired together after connecting on Instagram and soon are drunkenly creating a viral hit called “Seduce & Scheme.” Mia, a single mother and 9-to-5 influencer with more followers than funds, finds herself intrigued by the possibility of doing the unthinkable: being a rapper. Shawna, on the other hand, is a semi-established “woke” rapper with a seemingly stalled career and a fraud scheme or two up her hotel reception sleeves.
The two are different - as most great connections and friendships are - but they make it work. They see the magic. They understand that what they have is rare. While they wade through the world of pimps-turned-managers, toxic ass boyfriends and mothers, and deferred dreams, they find that making it is the easy part; maintaining it is where it gets tricky.
Alicia Vera/HBO Max
As usual, Issa Rae authentically gets the stories of Black women right. With Insecure, we saw it come to life in California; in Rap Sh!t, we see the Black Girl Magic in the Sunshine state away from reality TV. For far too long, Florida’s music scene has been considered gimmicky hip-hop by the mainstream - with artists like Major Nine, Tom G, Tokyo Jetz, and even the show’s star KaMillion - staring at us, waiting for us to “get” it. Hip-hop in Florida is just as monumental as in any borough in NY or any ‘hood in Cali.
There’s more than the beaches and nightclubs; the show represents the duality of how something appears and the underlying beautiful spots we often don’t take the time to see. Similarly, the duality of being a Black woman in America is that, wherever you reside, and whoever you stand beside, you’ll always have the weight of working towards a dream while ensuring your superwoman cape doesn’t strangle you simultaneously. Rap Sh!t gets all the things right about being caught in the middle of doing everything for others, by others’ standards, and with everyone else in mind at the expense of your destiny.
While we sit on pins and needles waiting for season 2 of Rap Sh!t, we can rest assured that the five lessons we learned from the show will live rent-free in our heads until then. And if you haven't binged the season already, be aware that some light spoilers are ahead.
1. Be a better friend.
Alicia Vera/HBO Max
First things first, Shawna is a questionable, if not bad, friend. While I’m not saying Mia is perfect, there’s a layer of superiority that Shawna knowingly carries around with all interactions she has. From claiming to be the “pen” behind the entire group while belittling Mia to nothing more than branding, to taking it upon herself to be more focused on her boyfriend than her business (while leaving Mia to do all the work, which she doesn’t get credit for); it’s not hard to see why the two had a disconnect. In life, we have to understand that, as Oprah, we rarely meet our Gayle; so when we do, we have to work like hell to be the type of friend to them that we’d want in our corner. The connection and trust you have for someone to give them the title of “friend” are more understated than we acknowledge.
Part of me wonders if there is a conflict in how Shawna and Mia treat friendship because they’ve received friendship on opposite ends of the spectrum in the past. One from the outside looking in and the other from the inside looking out. Either way, check on your strong friends, your weak friends, your rich friends, and your poor friends. Being a good friend is as simple as showing up consistently. This season, we saw Mia showing up more for Shawna than vice versa. It could be because, secretly, Mia was searching for someone who would see her as more than the loud, popular influencer she is. She wanted someone to finally see her for her.
Still, consistently we see Shawna put herself and her ego over her friendship, her group, and the promises they made to each other. Now, Shawna has to pay the price for it by losing the authenticity of a true friendship. Point blank: Romantic relationships aren’t the only relationships that deserve your attention. Your friendships are like any other relationship in your life; they deserve to be watered, prioritized, and nurtured.
2. Chase those dreams.
Alicia Vera/HBO Max
I’m not gonna hold you long on this one, sis. The known dream for one (Shawna) and the unknown dream for another (Mia) came together by simply stepping out of their comfort zones. Imagine if Shawna kept her nose turned up at the “Seduce & Scheme” track or if Mia had politely turned the opportunity to freestyle down because it wasn’t her “thing.” Too many of us stay in places where we’re comfortable simply because we’re scared of what happens if we fly.
Be more fearful of the magic you’re leaving behind if you DON’T fly. Chase those dreams. Do all the things. Even if every inch of your body trembles. Have something to reflect on and say, “I’m glad I at least tried.”
3. Pivot!
Alicia Vera/HBO Max
Shawna starts the season off as a “woke” but not watched rapper. Sure her rhymes have bars that would likely impress someone on a BET Cypher, but beyond that…nobody’s checking for it, and she knows it. Sometimes, you have to be flexible about HOW you get to your destination (within reason) without sacrificing the journey itself. There is so many layers of who you are that exist and the intersection of change and more change. Sometimes the pivot is truly your purpose, shifting gears. With Mia, they laughed and doubted her transforming from an Only Fans model and influencer into a solid rap artist.
Both ladies leave us with an important reminder of just how important it is to be flexible and open to change. That’s not to say you need to abandon your dreams, but it is to say that sometimes the vehicle to get to your destination isn’t quite what you picture in the Lyft app in your mind. Be open to change. Be open to the pivot. Be as aggressive about both.
4. Don't be a Reina Reign.
Alicia Vera/HBO Max
Be you. Do you. Authentically. Even though Shawna was probably less likely to throw on Trick Daddy before hanging with Mia, that music, that beat, that feeling is in her Miami-born DNA. So she’s able to bring the pieces of her that aren’t the traditional sides seen in Miami and fuse them with the parts of Miami that make it one of the most intoxicating cities in the world.
Then there are Reina Reigns of the world. The ones who will code switch their way out of their blessings and purpose simply because it sells. Or because people like it. Or because people will click. Peeling back all the layers of who they are will reveal the truth, but the mask has to get hot and heavy on the surface. Be you. Do you. Love you, sis. ‘Nuff said.
5. Say bye to toxic men.
Alicia Vera/HBO Max
Cliff is trash. There, I said it. As women, we can sometimes find ourselves clinging to what was for fear of what maybe-kinda-sorta-may-never-be-again. Stop blocking your blessings by holding onto dead weight, begging to be let go. Also, when someone shows you who they are - believe them. I think at one time Cliff (Devon Terrell) genuinely loved Shawna, as long as she fit into the box of what he deemed her most valuable. If a man makes you choose between the deliciously honey-drenched versions of yourself, don’t hesitate to decide for him.
If you can’t embrace me in all of my Caresha excellence, don’t expect to ever witness my Michelle O. magic.
The moment she stepped out of that box he’d placed her in, he began to treat a diamond like an empty roll of toilet paper; sadly, Shawna allowed it. There are so many relationships in my past that have me wishing I would’ve done things differently, but the reality is no one could’ve told me what was toxic until I was detoxed from it enough to see it. Still, we know when the ones closest to us hurt us in the ways they know will penetrate us the most: words.
It’s easier said than done, but you deserve better than toxicity in any relationship in your life - especially the one you lay up with while they minimize your greatness—hard pass. But don’t worry; they’ll spin the block once they realize they can’t find your replica. That’s not your business, though. Focus on your focus and love who (shows and proves) that they love you right back.
Rap Sh!t was a fantastic journey into our layered and often complex relationships with our friends, love, and dreams. Whether you’re chasing one or all three simultaneously, you deserve all the good sh!t - no seduce and scheme, necessary.
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Featured image by Alicia Vera/HBO Max
*Spoilers for the plot of Netflix’s Blood Sisters below
I have to admit, when it comes to new and original content that keeps me dialed all the way in, Netflix typically misses a few steps for me. I’m not sure if it's their competitors’ content that has me in a chokehold (hey, HBO Max, Hulu, Peacock, etc.) or if I’ve written the platform off too soon as somewhere to chill with old throwback faves. Either way, one Sunday evening I sat down ready to tackle some work and flipped through the platforms for a show or series I could watch for more than just an hour. Now, if you’re like me, you need some background noise to help break up the work you’re about to fall headfirst into. Just me? Cool.
I landed on Netflix and immediately was greeted with a “Top 10” suggested series, Blood Sisters. Beautiful Nigerian women, shovel in hand, suspense, and…did I smell drama? Okay, I thought, let me give this a try. I hit play and put the remote down, with plans to focus on the work - while also trying to take in the plot.
Let’s just say my week would never be the same.
Side-note: This contains SOME spoiler alerts. I will not reveal everything but read at your own risk.
The story of Blood Sisters centers squarely around the importance and beauty of the relationships that are closest to us in our lives; whether chosen or blood. The series opens as we see the gorgeous Sarah and her mega-successful fiancé Kola, preparing for their engagement party. Kola immediately gives me “catered to for his whole life, while being mommy’s fave” vibes, and boy was my “f-boy” radar on point. Kola is one of three children to a villainous mother, Udak, who makes no secret that she prefers Kola over her other two children, choosing him to run their family business, and, in turn, causing a never-ending power struggle led by drugs, booze, sex and oh…hired hitmen to take baby boy Kola out. At his engagement party. Whew, I was glued all the way in.
After, we find out that golden boy Kola is just about as copper as the pennies that fall between the cracks in your purse. In fact, he’s not only jealous, controlling, and abusive, he seems to have himself convinced that it’s “normal”. Sarah and her best friend Kemi are the only ones who are over trying to act like Kola is who he isn’t and, after a beating during the party, the best friends, who have been inseparable since they were 5 years old, hatch a plan to get Sarah out of her engagement. The only problem? The plan backfires majorly and the two best friends go from trying to find a way out of a bad relationship to trying to find a way out of the venue with Kola’s dead body.
Yes, the besties are now “killers.” What happens next goes from figuring out how to get rid of the body and evidence to how to portray themselves as grieving and, finally, making a decision to run and get out of the country. Even with all the drama going on around Kola’s murder, and his evil mom, Udak, using every resource she has to remain the biggest “B”, the story has a LOT going on. Family betrayal, murder, suspense, culture, and the importance of having a ride or die bestie.
While I won’t give up any details on Kola’s murder (like who did it and why), just know that by the end you’re less sympathetic to his murder and more enamored with the true-blue love relationship between Sarah and Kemi. Never wavering. Never questioning. Honest and protective. No, I’m not advocating for having your best friend's back when they’re wrong…but I am advocating for not abandoning them when they are. Kemi and Sarah are fictional characters with real-life similarities to many best friendships out there. Whether you’ve known them forever or are newly connected, a relationship that is worthy enough of being called a “best friend” should always be a safe space to empower and be empowered, and to remind you of your worth.
Yes, most best friendships don’t involve running from organ harvesters or bounty hunters, but let's assume they did…which side are you on with your bestie? Once the police found out that two unlikely suspects were likely involved, the two best friends had a heart-to-heart. One advocating for turning themselves in and the other for running. “I never want to do anything without you being by my side,” one says to the other. It hit me hard. My best friend, Lynette, is my ride or die. From college to adulthood and now transitioning to being those pesky adult children who have to remind their parents to go to doctor’s appointments by wagging our fingers at them, we’ve been through a lot. Through every bad decision, heartbreak, side-eye, and even a disagreement, (which felt as intense as running from the law), I’ve seen the beauty of a sisterhood that doesn’t abandon but uplifts. The sisterhood that makes space for you to be you - not who you pretend to be to the outside world. The sisterhood that makes you a better person and will go to the ends of the world to make sure you see it. And vice versa.
The audience may have started the series engulfed in a toxic love story about Kola and Sarah, but we ended it realizing that the true love story was between two best friends who never gave up on each other. The idea that one person believing in and riding for you can impact your own vision for what you can and can’t do was so prevalent in the series, that I had to pause it a few times to ask myself “What would you and your bestie do?”
Blood Sisters is beautifully shot, has amazing cultural highlights, and an amazingly talented range of creatives and I’ve literally been telling everyone I know about it. Aside from the deep and meaningful relationship between the best friends, the consequences of mistreating or glorifying family members can’t be denied. It doesn’t matter who we are, how much money we have in the bank, or what fancy clothes adorn our bodies, at the end of the day, there will be a reckoning for how you treat people in your life.
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Featured Image via Netflix
Don't get me wrong, I love seeing the representation of women over the size 14. Still, the love is fleeting when the layers of who plus-size women genuinely are in the real world don't fully translate onto any screen I see them on. (P.S. Technically, "plus size" is sometimes considered a size 10/12. However, I'm specifically talking about the women who have always had to head to the dimly lit back of the store to find one rack of often unfashionable clothes to choose from. Yeah, her.)
First things first: nearly 68% of American women identify as plus-size, making us the average size in the country. More plus-size women are living fly, whole lives than not. So why are we made to feel like supporting characters with dimensions as shallow as kiddie pools?
Think back to any of your favorite "old school" to "new school" shows or movies where plus-size women are included, and you'll see what I mean. From Kelli on Insecure to Kim on Moesha and even Nikki Parker on The Parkers, the vision of the plus-size Black woman is often one-dimensional. Chances are she's loud, hypersexual, always the comedian, the one who chases men, and, oh, did I mention she's often seen as more "Mom jeans" than "MILF”?
We see that trope even in one of the most brilliant series, Insecure by Issa Rae. Early on, I was invested in the character Kelli (played by Natasha Rothwell) because she looked like me; she was armed with sarcasm and comedic timing that made me proud. She was just unapologetically and confidently fly. Kelli was the one everyone in her crew turned to for advice and words of reality and wisdom, and sis always had an excellent sex recommendation to try out, too.
Merie W. Wallace/HBO
Simply put: she was everyone's best friend. Kelli was always there. Always the life of the party. Always real. Still, in all the beauty of her character, during the five seasons of Insecure, Kelli was the friend you loved but felt like you never truly got a chance to get to know.
Compared to all her girls, she was the only character we never saw in a consistent relationship or even being pursued. Did Kelli participate in online dating? Had a man broken her heart? We could have explored so many unknowns and areas to give Kelli as much depth as the other girls. Kelli was flourishing and beautiful, yet, we never saw her being pursued in the ways the other friends were…only her aggressively chasing. Paired with other depictions of plus-size women, it's easy to believe the truth is that all plus-size women have this as a reality. Also, unlike all the other characters on Insecure, we never saw the inside of Kelli's bedroom or even her home, or her dating (being fingered under the table is a good time, but it isn't a date, y'all…).
The searies finale aired late last year and I've watched it no less than ten times. Spoiler alert: It wasn't until the last 30 minutes of the finale that we were finally able to see Kelli fall in love, get pregnant and reveal the layers of herself. I loved watching her exist in her evolved vision. I also felt cheated. I'd had five seasons seeing the other girls grow romantically and had only a sped-up glimpse of seeing someone who looks like me be loved and in love.
Raymond Liu/HBO
I felt like she deserved more…like we deserved more. Not only for the representation of plus-size women but because ALL of us deserve to see the reality of how we're flawed and living, celebrated.
Let's be very clear, the dimensions of plus-size women go beyond the boxes we're often placed in under the guise of being inclusive. That plus-size woman's desirability doesn't diminish because she has rolls, or because she has a FUPA, or because she's thicker in the waist or thighs. Even in reality shows, a plus-size woman is often solely seen as the back-up for the thinner friend. If they are shown in relationships, it's as if the world is amazed at the thought of someone loving a bigger woman. Despite what you've heard, plus-size women aren't out here begging and chasing as an everyday means of finding a partner.
Nikki Parker may have chased Professor Oglevee on The Parkers, but that level of unapologetic desperation for a man (who doesn't want you) is not the norm; I don't want anyone - plus size or not - to think it is. I love to be the bearer of great news: plus-size women are being loved, having sex and incredible orgasms, raising their babies, dressing fly, and keeping it hella sexy while thriving in all the areas of their lives.
A plus-size woman isn't her crew's savior, whether comedic or therapeutic. A plus-size friend is an additive to the crew that gives it a vibe to show that, regardless of how different we are, as Black women, we are all collectively magic.
But first, we have to get out of all the boxes we've placed each other in and then dismantle the boxes we've settled being put into by others. How we see ourselves is more important than how others see us; but, a resounding trend of only showing plus-size Black women as desperate, loud, and only as valuable as the laughs she can provide is more harmful than helpful. I'm hopeful for the day that the vulnerability and diversity of who we are leads to the introductions of how others see us.
Steve Dietl/NBC
Shows like Grand Crew (with Nicole Byers) and Good Girls (starring Retta) normalize the various dimensions and desirabilities of Black plus-size women. I can't wait for others to follow suit. We can make you laugh, but we're not your laugh track. We can give great advice, but we're not your therapist. We can be sassy, but we can also be sensitive. We are desirable, worthy of unveiling our layers, and beautiful enough to stand next to our girls and be seen as an equal and not just a support for their narratives.
Just as we've fought over the years to have a seat at the table, being satisfied with just having a seat is half the battle. Now that we have a seat at the table, it's on us to make sure we're all seen. Regardless of whether we're plus-size, thin, tall, short, dark-skinned, light-skinned, have natural hair, and/or have relaxed hair - we are more than a single dimension.
Just as important as it is for that young teenage girl to see a plus-size woman on the screen, it's equally as crucial for her to proudly stand in the truth of who she is as a whole: beautiful, flawed, funny, desirable, loved and fly as hell.
We deserve to be seen through the whole, flourishing, transparent lens that proudly shows that off.
Featured image by Raymond Liu/HBO
