Even though I can never hide when I'm upset from my husband, I used to hate talking about it, especially if it was because something he said or did. I just couldn't do the whole confrontational thing... and still can't fully.
I literally told him I don't like talking about certain things because, "It just doesn't go over well."
But considering we promised to the rest of our lives, I had to get over this fear of confrontation and talking things out, even when it doesn't go the way I hope. And if you have those fears like me, it is important to remember, at the end of the day, you and your partner will always end up on the same page. To overcome your fear of having hard conversations with your partner, check out my tips for better communication below.
Press Pause On The Expectations
And this isn't one of those moments where I'm saying to go in and not expect anything to avoid getting your feelings hurt. It's actually kind of the opposite. I realized that my husband most likely isn't going to have the reaction I fantasized about him having; you know, the ones you see on TV and in romantic comedies, because that's just not his personality. So going into a conversation with these unrealistic expectations not only put pressure on him to respond the way I wanted him to, but it also had the potential to cause even more friction because he didn't meet my expectations.
For me, it was coming to the reality that I don't want to try and change the core of who he is to conform to how I think he should react or even feel. I had to completely get outside of myself, which was so hard because clearly bringing these concerns to him was all about me, how I felt, and how I wanted him to respond. So now, even though I still have a long way to go, I bring up issues with the simple intention of letting him know so that we can work as a team to come to a solution.
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