Recently, a guy told me that he wasn't into dating because he felt that it came with too much pressure. To him, when it came to getting to know a woman a little better, he preferred to go to her house (or have her come to his) and watch a movie or something.
Geez. If you could only see my face right now. Before "Netflix and Chill" was a phrase on a graphic T-shirt, I never thought "dating at home" was a good idea. What I mean by that is the first five dates or so, that needs to be about two people not only getting to know one another but showing the effort that they are willing to invest in doing so. When all a guy does is come over, eat up your food and use up your electricity while watching something on your television…not only does that come off as rather lazy on his part, on your end, it also doesn't really convey what your expectations are—when it comes to exploring the possibility of a relationship.
So yeah, if there is a mutual attraction between you and someone new, please require that you both go outside of one another's residences for the first few dates. And then also, in the effort to set a few more standards, make sure that open communication is a top priority. Oh, and if you happen to hear the following things come out of your date's mouth, I strongly suggest that you reconsider going on another outing with him and that you definitely don't give him the honor of dinner and a movie at your crib any time soon.
“I mean, it’s nothing serious.”
If there's one thing that both my platonic and romantic relationships with me have taught me, it's that men don't lie nearly as much as we don't ask the right questions. For instance, asking a man, "Are you seeing someone?" is probably not what you really want to know. He probably knows that too, so he might say something along the lines of "I mean, it's nothing serious." Chances are, what you really want to know is if he's interested in becoming exclusive with someone at some point. Sooo…ask that.
A man who is emotionally mature and not afraid of commitment won't have a problem directly answering the question. But if he's ducking and dodging your inquiry, he keeps referring to someone as "nothing serious" or even a "baby's mama" (you'd be surprised how many men who are in serious relationships or are even married will call their lady that), I'd suggest that you ask flat out if they are in a relationship. Based on someone's integrity level, "nothing serious" is relative.
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