Let’s be real—it’s hard losing weight. Trading carbs for abs may sound nice in theory, but so does pizza, pasta and those delicious theme park funnel cakes that love to leave evidence of your gluttony all over your face (powered sugar is a hell of a drug!). Not to mention that if you’re not a fitness buff, rolling out of bed for an early morning gym session or dragging yourself to workout after working that draining 9 to 5 job can easily turn into one of those chores that you do half-heartedly just to check it off the list instead of giving it your all.
But if you ask any personal trainer it’s all mind over matter—a simple act of trading in your excuses for a pair of Nike’s and just doing it! But the reality is that for many people, eating healthy and getting fit is more psychological than anything. At least that’s what personal trainer and celebrity fitness correspondent Fallon Mercedes found out after signing up to work with a client weighing in at 445 pounds for Fit to Fat to Fit—a new show where professional fitness trainers gain an extreme amount of weight in order to understand the struggle of losing weight alongside their obese clients.
"Fit" Fallon
At 5’0, Fallon admits to never having tipped the scale of obesity, but for the show packed on 45 pounds just to fit into her client JD’s shoes.
“I would get frustrated with him when he wasn’t following my nutritional plan. And I had to step back and realize that this isn’t an addiction for him, this is almost like it’s a disease,” Fallon says. “People are sensitive to people who are alcoholics and drug addicts, but I feel like we’re not as sensitive to people who are obese.”
Working with JD wasn’t just a wake-up call concerning her clients, but also to herself. Gaining over 40 pounds took a toll on Fallon’s health and at one point the fitness lover was scared that the excess weight would affect her fertility. Not to mention that despite her years of training and healthy eating, she struggled to lose the weight that eating her beloved sweets and Dominican food afforded her. “When I was losing the weight I got really frustrated when I would step on the scale. All of that hard work that I put in and I only lost a pound?”
Yeah, that’s exactly how many people feel when they bust their behinds in the gym and nibble on cucumbers and carrots, only to see the numbers creep up on the scale.
With a newfound understanding and appreciation of the struggles surrounding weight loss and obesity, Fallon chatted with us about her journey of gaining and losing weight, how it changed her perception as a personal trainer, and shares weight loss tips for those who are still fighting the good the good fight of having a healthy and fit body.
Here's what she learned:
You Have to Constantly Love Yourself Through the Process of Losing Weight
"A casting director contacted me and told me the premise of the show. It’s funny because I read the book that this is based off of, Drew Manning’s book, and he got fat and lost the weight with his client, so I knew what he was talking about but I was like 'I don’t know if I want to get fat, I kind of want to do this bikini competition' and he’s like no trust me, you should do it!"
Fallon and her client JD
"For me it was just like am I really going to do this, am I really going to put on the weight? So I decided to just go for it, and test myself to go to a place I’ve never ever been. I wondered if I still could love myself and be confident at a bigger size because I train a lot of clients and a lot of women suffer or have a hard time with their confidence and loving themselves because you don’t lose the weight overnight, it takes time. So I have to constantly tell them you have to love yourself through the process. I wondered if I could love myself during the process. Would I have enough confidence in my relationship to be secure even at my biggest? So it was definitely a challenge."
Being overweight looks different on everybody
"My goal was 40 and I went over, but I think like every girl I’ve been 5 – 10 pounds fluctuating, but I’ve never gotten fat. I’m short–I’m 5 feet–so even 5 or 10 lbs shows up on me, and I think I’m a little different from most trainers like the ideal body type. I am curvy and like I said, I’m Dominican. I like having curves, but I consider myself fit curvy. But to gain 45 lbs, that took my curves to another level. I really looked like I was pregnant once I put that weight on; it looked like I’d gained 75 lbs because I was so short."
Eating the "typical" American diet can cause migraines and other serious health issues
"We weren't allowed to work out for four months and we had to eat a typical American diet. They didn’t really give us a nutrition plan to gain weight so basically I did whatever I could. I would go to McDonald’s or Taco Bell or I would do the fast food thing, the pizza. I started cooking the meals that I grew up loving the rice and beans, the fried plantains and then I have a sweet tooth so I was eating a lot of sweet foods like chocolate and cookies. But I think overdid it in the beginning with the sweets because I was getting constant migraines and constant nausea because I was trying to eat over 3,500-4,000 calories a day and it was just intense. And then after that we had to start incorporating healthier meals and not so much sugar.
"I can understand that fast food documentary [Super Size Me], I get it because within my first month, I was like I have to peel back, this was insane."
Carrying extra weight can affect your fertility and menstrual cycle
"There were doctors on the show to monitor us, but what really freaked me out was not so much the headaches and nausea, but I was getting my menstrual cycle every two weeks. I don’t have any children, and you know I really want to get married and have kids one day so at that point I almost passed out and told the producers listen, if this is going to affect my fertility and my reproductive system I’m out.
"So I had to sit with the doctors and they had to monitor me and check me and they told me because it was just for a short amount of time I would bounce back and get my menstrual cycle regularly once I started eating clean and working out. But what a lot of people don’t realize, and I get a lot of clients who have trouble conceiving and it’s because their body fat percentage is too high, and they’re living and eating unhealthy. So once my body fat percentage got to a certain percent, I think that’s when I started having those issues. I think within the first two or three weeks of me eating clean again my menstrual cycle regulated."
"I get a lot of clients who have trouble conceiving and it’s because their body fat percentage is too high."
Being "skinny fat" doesn't mean you're healthy--you can still be pre-diabetic
"You’d be surprised, there are a lot of people who—you hear the term skinny fat—and you look at them and they’re like I’m good, I’m not overweight. But muscle weighs more than fat so you can’t really get on the scale and judge. You really have to take your measurements and get your body fat percentage then because that’s what’s really going to tell you. Because you want to be in the range of 20-25%, anything over that, and a lot of people think that fat is on the outside, but there’s something called visceral and that’s fat surrounding the organs, and when you have too much fat, you know a lot of people that are obese you see it in their stomach first, that’s because there’s so much fat surrounding their organs that it’s protruding from their stomach.
"And that’s the dangerous fat, and that’s when it starts affecting your organs and for women it starts affecting your fertility. And you become pre-diabetic and have high cholesterol and all of those things, so not just for aesthetics, you want your body fat percentage low for your health."
Obesity can affect fertility in men as well
Fallon and her client, JD.
"When JD came to me they told me he was 375 or in the 300s so I sat down and asked him let me know your history and do you have any issues and he’s like no my doctor says I’m pretty healthy for a fat guy and I’m like okay, so I put him on the scale and he’s like 455 lbs. and he’s like wow I haven’t weighed myself in 10 years and I’m doing his measurements and literally the measuring piece I couldn’t even get all the way around him and when I assessed him later on after I gained weight, I learned that he was pretty agile for a man that size but he definitely was the most out of shape.
"But it wasn’t until two months in that I took him to the doctor because he wasn’t taking it seriously when I was training him and he wasn’t losing as much weight as he should’ve, he was going up and down on the scale and cheating on his diet so I took him to get his blood labs read and he was pre-diabetic, high cholesterol and his testosterone was so low that basically, he was in male menopause. So that just shows you that weight gain not only affected my reproductive system, but even as men when you’re overweight it can affect you having children and affect your testosterone levels.
Obesity isn't just a habit, it's an addiction
I’ve worked with obese people before, but never severely obese of his size. What this experiment really taught me is that a lot of it is psychological. I would get frustrated with him when he wasn’t following my nutritional plan, and I had to step back and realize that this isn’t an addiction for him, this is almost like it’s a disease. People are sensitive to people who are alcoholics and drug addicts, but I feel like we’re not as sensitive to people who are obese. That’s what I really learned with him was that I have to tread lightly, he’s in this shape because it’s more of an addiction and disease, he doesn’t want to be this way it’s a behavioral habit.
"People are sensitive to people who are alcoholics and drug addicts, but we’re not as sensitive to people who are obese."
Losing weight is an emotional journey
"I remember the first workout that we did together I was just like whoa, I couldn’t even do half of the pushups and half of the workouts that I was able to do before. So it definitely opened my eyes that first workout at 40+ pounds on my back I was like okay this is going to be work.
"Then I was emotional, too. I had a lot going on wondering if my menstrual cycle would be regulated and wondering if I was going to bounce back and lose all the weight. It was definitely an emotional journey for me, and then I also had to be the strong one to support and motivate and push him to lose weight so it was hard."
Finding a way to make exercise fun is the key to consistency
"Nutrition is 75% of losing weight. The first thing I did was a food journal, and that made me really aware of what I was eating and along with that I did a lot of plyometrics at high-intensity intervals. I teach a class called 'Body Shred' so I lost a lot of weight doing that class, and I did things I loved like going to fun classes, dancing, hiking, paddle boarding.
"I worked out five days a week and for the majority, I would do at least an hour a day, some days two hours. I had to work, too, during this process, so I was working my real job, training clients and then also training myself."
Losing Weight Is Psychological, And You Have to Be Ready In Order to Stay Committed
"I think what I learned from the situation is like I said earlier, it's psychological, too. You have to want it; you have to be ready. As a trainer I learned that I have to be a little more empathetic and sympathetic with my clients. I didn’t realize how hard it is."
Having a support system can help you get through the hard times
"You know what’s funny is I would still would dress up and put makeup on when I’d go out on a date with my boyfriend and I would put Spanx on and I would just act like even though my confidence level has not been the same, I still portrayed that I’m just as beautiful as I was before. I was still the same person, nothing inside me changed. And I feel like I kind of fooled my boyfriend, my boyfriend never once commented that I wasn’t beautiful. And I think that helped my confidence level.
"He never waivered with his affection or made any comments to me about getting too big, he was just supportive. I guess having a supportive person you’re dating that helps, and faking it ‘til you make it. I convinced even myself that I was still the same person, still beautiful regardless of what size I was."
Losing Weight Is About Patience and Enjoying the Process
"I think the first place to start with is to just get moving. I think sometimes people will put it off like, 'oh I’ll do it when my money’s right, I’ll do it when my kids are in daycare, I’ll do it when I have the time.' I feel like just get moving, do things that you are motivated by or excited to do. If you love hanging out with your girlfriends instead of going to a restaurant to eat with them, do girlfriend catch up time on the elliptical next to each other and get that cardio in or go hiking together. Or plan activities that you do like. If you love to dance try a dance workout class or Zumba or if you like the beach, try like a surf sport workout, something like that. I think the first thing is to start moving, and then you can kind of figure it out from there.
"I would encourage people just to take it one day at a time. Even when I was losing the weight I got really frustrated when I would step on the scale. All of that hard work that I put in and I only lost a pound? So it takes time, you know. Even for me, I’m a trainer and certified in nutrition and I had all of the tools, and even I couldn’t lose 10 lbs in a week, so it’s really about patience and trying to enjoy the process. They say it’s a lifestyle and that’s what’s really going to keep the weight off, incorporating it into your life and with your friends and your family and your job."
Check out a preview of Fit to Fat to Fit and be sure to tune in tonight at 10 PM/9c on A&E.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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If, while on your continual journey to get the best out of your own tresses, you’d like to learn how to get them healthier than it’s ever been, I’ve got seven acids that are typically known for skin use that can be just as beneficial to your hair as well.
1. Salicylic Acid
When it comes to your skin, salicylic acid is beta-hydroxy acid that is great for your skin if you’re looking for something that will exfoliate it, clear out your pores and dissolve dead skin cells. In fact, this is why it’s an acid that is quite popular when it comes to treating acne.
Your hair will enjoy salicylic acid because, if you’re looking to remove product build-up, you want to soothe an itchy or irritated scalp or you’ve got some dandruff flakes that are totally driving you up the wall, salicylic acid has the ability to treat all of this. Either purchasing a shampoo that contains this ingredient or adding it to your favorite scalp scrub is probably the most effective way to get the most out of it.
Just make sure that if your scalp is sensitive or dry that you approach with caution. In these instances, it could end up irritating your scalp more than helping it out, so use a very little bit in the beginning to make sure that it vibes with you.
2. Lactic Acid
Lactic acid is an alpha hydroxy acid that can help to even out your skin tone as well as slow down the signs of aging. The properties in it help to do this by reducing hyperpigmentation and boosting collagen production in your skin as well as keeping it hydrated.
Why is it great for your locks? For one thing, lactic acid is considered to be a humectant. This means that it pulls water from the air so that your hair is able to remain moisturized.
Another thing that makes it a winner is the fact that lactic acid breaks down dead skin cells on your scalp (so that your hair follicles are able to flourish), it can help to soften and detangle your hair (making it a helpful addition on your wash days) and it also helps to protect your tresses from heat styling tools and UV damage. Applying a hair rinse that’s made up of part lactic acid and part water can work wonderfully (so long as you apply it once a month, tops; more than that might be too “intense” for your hair strands).
3. Glycolic Acid
Glycolic acid is a water-soluble alpha hydroxy acid that is actually made from sugar. Your skin will adore it because it smooths the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, improves the texture of your skin, gently exfoliates, clears your pores and brightens up your complexion overall.
The reasons why you should consider this acid for your hair is because it helps to keep your scalp youthful (and yes, there is such a thing; check out “Your Scalp Ages Six Times Faster Than Your Face. Why It Matters.”), removes excess sebum (that could be clogging up your hair follicles) and it helps to keep your hair moisturized. Your best bet here is to make it a part of your pre-shampooing ritual.
4. Succinic Acid
Succinic acid is an acid that is made from sugar cane and contains antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties. Although it doesn’t exactly exfoliate (like many of these other acids do), it can still be beneficial to your skin when it comes to reducing the kind of irritation that is associated with eczema, decreasing the bacteria that leads to breakouts and keeping your skin pretty hydrated.
As far as your hair goes, this is an acid that is worth trying out because it helps to balance the sebum that is on your scalp, remove dead skin and product build-up that can irritate your scalp and clog your hair follicles and, succinic acid is also beneficial when it comes to reducing dandruff and helping to prevent hair loss. Most people tend to apply this as a serum.
5. Hyaluronic Acid
I’ve officially sung the praises of hyaluronic acid on this platform before. One example is via the article, “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday.” On the skin tip, hyaluronic acid is great because it deeply hydrates your skin, contains anti-aging properties and can even bring relief to vaginal (including vulvar) dryness.
Your hair will adore this particular acid because it aids moisture to it (including your hair follicles), will help to improve your hair’s texture and it also soothes scalp dryness, nurtures the cuticles of your tresses and decreases frizz. Using a serum rich in this acid as a pre-poo or as a leave-in conditioner is recommended.
6. Azelaic Acid
If you’ve never heard of azelaic acid before, this is your lucky day. It’s a dicarboxylic acid that, when it comes to skincare (and hair care) products, is usually synthetic. Anyway, if you are looking for a way to reduce inflammation, even skin tone after a breakout or if you want to use an exfoliant that will improve the texture of your skin overtime, you might want to give this acid a shot.
This one makes the list as far as your hair is concerned because, if achieving more inches is your current focus, azelaic acid might come in handy. That’s because it is able to strengthen your hair, thicken your strands and also stimulate hair growth from within your hair follicles.
7. Glutamic Acid
Glutamic acid is actually a type of amino acid. Skin-wise, it’s great for deeply hydrating your skin as well as protecting it from pollutants and damaging UV rays. Also, if you’re looking for an acid that treats skin dryness or “tightness,” this could be the answer to your prayers.
Since glutamic acid is also considered to be a humectant, it’s another acid that can moisturize your hair. As a result, it can decrease breakage while helping your hair to feel smooth and look shiny.
BONUS: Amino Acids
Speaking of amino acids and hair, please try to keep some amino acids in your diet at all times. The reason why is because, since your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin, to be exact), amino acids are pretty darn effective when it comes to helping you to maintain the overall health and well-being of your hair.
Ones to prioritize include proline (it boosts collagen so that your hair strands can maintain flexibility); arginine (it increases blood flow to your hair follicles so that they can receive the nutrients that they need); cysteine (it helps to keep your hair follicles healthy); alanine (it helps your system to produce more collagen), and isoleucine (it strengthens the tissues that help to make up your hair strands). All of these are available in supplement form or you can use Google to see which foods contain them.
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Although it might initially seem odd to apply acid to your hair, as you can see, certain ones will work miracles for it. So, test them out to see which one tickles your fancy.
Hell, since they work for your skin as well — it’s a two-for-one deal that is worth every penny!
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